Suprise that no market their computers as "crapware free".
I don't think one should be surprised. At least two reasons can be given: 1) "crapware" is not well-defined for all users, some utility that absolutely is annoying and unnecessary to medium to advanced users may be found useful by complete novices, e.g. the prototypical "your grandma". 2) The bigger cause is, of course, affiliate money. Companies have little backlash to crapware other than perhaps some lost sales due…
The rest is totally right, though. For any behavior by a company that seems to do more harm than good, you can usually trace it back to some decision-maker who is rewarded for the good parts but is not responsible for the bad parts. If your decisions cause $1 in gain for your department and $2 in loss for another department, many companies aren't smart enough to do anything but reward you and punish the other department.