21–30 of 36 posts
When you say that you have problems with performance, was there any specific concrete examples that you can share?
For what it's worth, everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. The fact that you can program relates to a great skill that you have. There are millions of people who can't do it. Don't take it too personally - you can definitely overcome any "problems" you have.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
- Do you get along with your coworkers? - Where are your shortcomings? - Can you actually program? - Are you misunderstanding requirements?
- There are times I get along with my coworkers, which happens to be most of the time, there are times I don't. - I don't know, I feel performance tends to be one of my problems, especially when working under pressure and being stressed / burned. I hate working under pressure, and when clients have unrealistic expectations. I don't mind deadlines if they are realistic. - Yes, but I tend to get stuck a lot, I try to s…
I was fired from my first serious job, and I felt terrible, but I realized it was my fault and I worked my ass off to eliminate (or lessen) the weaknesses I know (note the tense) I have.
"Hard work beats talent". Discipline is what makes you great, so work towards getting it.
Before self doubt about self abilities and anyone questioning you on it (in work, life, or in comments here).: I've met a huge amount of people that feel they're not great at what they do, but are actually quite good.
How is your communication about what you're doing?
Do you communicate your tasks back to the person you report to? I mean formally, in the form of a weekly email (preferably on Tuesday or Thursday, as supervisors tend to be busy organizing their week on Mondays and fighting fires on Fridays)?
A lot of managers don't know how to manage. "I'd really like him/her to do this for me they may thing." "Do this, you're qualified" they may say. And you're left "What the hell is this, OK, I'll try, I'm hopeful it will work..." and then several days or weeks later you're in a situation where things don't work. This may or may not be your case. It would probably be the case of a reader.
Email your supervisor a schedule of everything you've done. Task ID, description, request date, expected completion date, actual completion date, and pain points you may be experiencing. Do it regularly.
You're helping them be a better coach. Which they may not know how to do. So help you supervisor be a better supervisor.
If you do that and they don't provide 1-1 feedback face-to-face in a sit-down private environment on at least a twice per month basis, then you're better rid of them. They're bad managers.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
What client goals are you not meeting?
I don't know, they tend to be vague, but performance comes to mind. They sent me this email today which is really vague: "Given the urgency of the project, and the communication problems, I don't think this is a good first Company project for you. I removed you from the project. So I can make sure you're put in a better position, what's the ideal project for you?"
Have you spoken with a psychiatrist regarding ways to address your concentration problems? Without medication, getting my brain to do what I want it to is like bushing a bolder up a hill. With the proper medication, I gain a lot of control over my concentration.
No, I never spoke with a psychiatrist.
Do you do the work?
Most of the time I get the work done, yes. But there are other times where the client doesn't have realistic goals, like the last project I've been to, they just say something like this: "We need to ship this on Monday May 11th, so we need you to aggressively plug away on this. You still need to do X and Y. I'm going to put something together with info on how to prioritize the work." And this after 2 weeks of hiring…
If you're working too long hours and getting stressed out about it, it's perfectly normal to have attention and concentration problems. Perhaps you just need to relax a bit more, take breaks, and you might find you get more done. Also don't work for dipshit companies that put too much pressure on you!
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I don't know, they tend to be vague, but performance comes to mind. They sent me this email today which is really vague: "Given the urgency of the project, and the communication problems, I don't think this is a good first Company project for you. I removed you from the project. So I can make sure you're put in a better position, what's the ideal project for you?"
Why did they send this to you over email? Are you in a separate time zone, deaf or something else? Seems like it would be an odd thing to discuss over email.
This was remote work.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
No, I never spoke with a psychiatrist.
Have you always had this issue, or only recently? Being burned out or overstressed can cause these symptoms.
Sometimes I could do them faster than others. It depends.
I also believe my problem could be discipline.
I usually work during the night, sometimes in the morning. I choose the night because it's less distraction, but then I distract myself with reddit or IRC, and I get little done.
I remember having some learning difficulties when I was at school, not sure if that was related to attention problems, and I had to go to a special school for that.
These days I don't have much problem with learning, but with attention/productivity.
This is assuming you work in an organization and not freelance: Before self doubt about self abilities and anyone questioning you on it (in work, life, or in comments here).: I've met a huge amount of people that feel they're not great at what they do, but are actually quite good. How is your communication about what you're doing? Do you communicate your tasks back to the person you report to? I mean formally, in the…
We were using Slack to communicate, and I was communicating on a daily basis with the manager.
You're right - discipline is a challenge for you. It's a challenge for everyone, but you're the person of concern here.
Work on your discipline habits. This is different for each person. Try lots of things. Keep trying.
As you've described, your current career is a struggle. Many short-term gigs, constant pressure, almost no social capital, and (I pessimistically assume) low pay.
And regular criticism, either direct or indirect.
That sucks! And it's not likely to improve. You're in the midst of a market that runs on people meat. Like a sweatshop, except your mind instead of your body is being exploited.
It's better than a physical sweatshop, but it still sucks. The key thing to remember is that you're participating in a market which places little value on humans. It's easy to absorb that attitude, and devalue yourself.
If you stay in this career, the likely outcomes are:
- burnout
- depression
- resilience
- aggression
(This is all personal experience & opinion, BTW. It might not match reality.)
In order to survive, and even succeed, you need to minimize your burnout and depression, and cultivate your resilience & aggression.
Aggression doesn't mean rage - it means hunger. It means viewing every single interaction as fuel.
You've shown you can write decently (many people can't speel sipmle word).
For example, this communication:
Given the urgency of the project, and the communication problems, I don't think this is a good first Company project for you. I removed you from the project. So I can make sure you're put in a better position, what's the ideal project for you?
looks like a solid opportunity. You might reply:
"Thanks for taking this action, and for the frank communication. I understand the tight schedule and I appreciate your help in matching my abilities with your needs. You asked what the ideal project is, and we both know projects are never ideal.
For me to bring maximum value, I need time. You're probably familiar with the good/cheap/fast triangle. I work in the 'good' corner.
Thanks again for your time. I'll be happy to talk further at your convenience."
I bet you can write it even better. (hint: shorter = better)
The fact is, in the cheap-gig market, you'll get to write this response dozens of times. You'll have plenty of chances to practice, until you're either a iron-hard pro, or a mentally destroyed basket case!
(or some strange hybrid of those two things)
Hope this helps.