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I'm a programmer and I know I have problems with performance, clients have also complained about my performance.
This is depressing me a lot, my self-esteem is also affected. I don't know what it is, am I just too slow?
I know I have issues with attention and concentration, but I'm not sure how to break out of this loop where I don't last on a job.
Please help. :-(
Would you mind to share more details? So far, there could be many reasons behind what happened.
Would you hire yourself?
A lot of programming groups at companies are very picky about your personality type, so don't blame yourself by default.
Address each complaint with a goal or action to resolve or prevent it.
Without medication, getting my brain to do what I want it to is like bushing a bolder up a hill. With the proper medication, I gain a lot of control over my concentration.
Not sure if this is helpful. There are a couple of things which stand out in your in message: '...I know I have problems... have also complained...' and 'I know I have issues ...' To me, this reads as if you are you parroting what you might have been told repeatedly. Whether or not the statements are factual is irrelevant. What is important, is that you have embraced the language and are defining yourself with it. Unless you are worshiped like a god, you are usually better off using your own language to define yourself.
As a corollary, and possibly not applicable to you, this type of parroting can illicit similar remarks from others, reinforcing this (maybe) incorrect assessment. When someone keeps saying that they have, for example, a lack of attention, people will start to zoom in that feature with laser focus and even the slightest hint of drop in attention will affirm the idea which was placed in their heads. Also, realize that you provide others with an 'easy out' if they are uncomfortable discussing their real reasons for letting you go. Maybe you just have a bo issue, which can be solved by switching cologne?
I am just saying that you should take some distance from this, regain your own language/words/etc. and redefine yourself. I too can be outspoken and direct when it comes to my failings, but I never phrase them as debilitating, shameful, or even 'that big of deal.' By choosing the right words, by framing things correctly, many flaws can be accepted.