I have this exact same problem. I see merchandise and slogans and whatnot targeting the "geek culture". I hate that stuff, the "witty" and "nerdy" T-shirts with stupid inner jokes about programming, I hate the "developer-targeted" ads with stereotypical geek talk I'm bombarded with, I hate all that, and would never want to be a part of it. I feel it's the same that these women get because tech is getting pink. But I…
Stop thinking about how you react to t-shirts with stupid jokes about programming; imagine a cookery book assuming that you are, because you are a geek, incompetent in the kitchen and that you need help with buying eggs from the store and need instructions on how to cook eggs.
Or imagine a set of low quality kitchen equipment that has those "Roses are #ff0000" style slogans on. Does that in anyway make cooking more accessible to you?
A bunch of people on HN are good at cooking. They don't want that kind of pointless targeting. They want better specs, better access to information, and so on.
I imagine, but I do not know, that women don't just want pink colour themes for their code editor.