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I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

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Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

#161

Post by aestra »

forgottenpaswrd wrote: post #79

Man, first thing: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You are not the first human to become addicted, nor will be the only one. There are people out there that have been in a worse situation than you and that have gone out of addictions. You should find those people, meet them and get out of drinking. Over years you made a path that you have to undo. This will take years, like it took you to create it. Your wife and kids did the righ…

>You should find those people, meet them and get out of drinking

I don't mean to be offensive but...

This can work, however it might not work depending on who you find. Many former addicts I personally know have replaced their drug habit with a religion habit. They are actively preaching religion at almost all times. This is probably due to the twelve step programs. If you aren't into religion or being preached at, you could be turned off by hanging around these people and thinking that's how your become if you quit, or you need religion to keep you from drinking.

I just know an addict, he avoids getting help because he believes that the 12 step programs are offensive. (I share the same opinion - however I acknowledge they work for some people and that's good - I just disagree they should be the "go to" programs for everyone) He knows AA doesn't work for him, but he doesn't know there are non-religious programs and people who have gotten better without religion.

Disclaimer: The following post is entirely my own experience. It might not reflect everyone's experience. It may or may not be useful. I am just an atheist who knows many former addicts. I have read the AA "big book" some, and I couldn't stand how they treated non-believers. They basically said non-believers can't get better without accepting the Judeo-Christian God. It quotes the bible excessively. Anyone who says AA isn't a religious organization is being dishonest or very selective.

Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

#162

Post by baby »

awshepard wrote: post #151
karon wrote: post #89

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Gabor Mate heals heroin addicts with two powerful psychedelic plants: Ayahuasca (DMT) and Iboga. I have been to a couple of Ayahuasca ceremonies in the past year, and I can report that - among its many awesome effects - it effectively resets your inner emotional "firmware", helping you cope with stressful situations and addictions much better (I had instantly quit smoking after the first ceremony.) Vipassana meditati…

> even people who practice half-hour daily buddhist meditation praise its beneficial effects on mental and physical well being. Wanted to lend some weight to this. I've practiced mindful meditation on and off for a year or so. I've never hit an hour or even half an hour at a time, but I will say it is fairly effective for recalibrating your mental state even with just a few minutes a day. I find myself much more pati…

I don't know about meditation, but when I write in the morning I feel like I can think more clearly and express myself more easily during the day. Might be a form of "re-arranging" your brain.

Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

#163

Post by nnnn »

Sincerely maybe you should look into Islam where imbibing alcohol is prohibited. I used to drink everyday, I used to say I could stop smoking but not drinking. But one day something really really bad happened because of it, almost destroyed my whole life. But because I knew about Islam that this was out there. Now I realized why it was prohibited and called the mother of all evils. I used to jest about it before. A wake up call for me. God says in the Quran that there is some good in it but the bad is much more than the good. The Prophet Muhammad said that whatever is forbidden in larger quantities is prohibited in small ones, not a jot or tittle. Anyways just telling you sincerely. Hope it helps. Let it go but try to start over new, its never too late.

Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

#164

Post by negativity »

Snail_Commando wrote: post #139

I don't know if you'll see this, but I hope you do. I've struggled with addiction and I've made decisions that I'm ashamed of and disgusted with. There was a period of my life when I was also hopeless. I thought that I had lost everything. In a sense, it was true. (Rather, I destroyed most of what I had and subsequently lost the remaining pieces.) Despite all of that, it does get better. It took me far too long to ac…

He means drinking doesn't get better, so stop drinking. He doesn't mean "life itself."

Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

#165

Post by dgabriel »

toddan wrote: post #147
easy_rider wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Let me cosign this. Tl;dr I'm a highly functional, auto-didactic freelance programmer and pothead. I get highly stimulated by everything from porn to "dangerous" activity like skateboarding, bouldering, gambling, alcohol and drugs. Yes. I've never been officially tested, think I slipped the early detection nets. I could read before I went to elementary. I surpassed everyone in basic calculus easily. Usually got bored…

My story is a bit similar to yours. I got diagnosed with ADD when i was 16 and was put on concerta during my high-school years. I am interested on how you manage to get stuff done when smoking weed. I have tried to make weed a tool to manage my self, but its not just working for me. I get really confused in my head and do not manage to produce quality work when stoned. It also sometimes makes me super paranoid.

I have ADHD and no tolerance for weed -- it ruins my headspace and makes me paranoid. I also hate ritalin/etc, so I manage myself using tools like lists, alerts (if I've been using my web browser for too long), calendars, and lots of visual cues around my workspace and home (color-coded stickies).

I really, really wish drugs worked better for me, because it looks so much easier.

Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

#166

Post by subversively »

twobits wrote: post #143
subversively wrote: post #47

As another poster mentioned, addiction is about getting away from some kind of unbearable inner pain. I'll share mine, what I did to get deaden it, and how I finally healed it. I'm 31 now, have a wife, exciting job, close friends, and most of all, I'm happy. My pain comes form severe bullying; I got beaten up literally every day as a child for three years. After that, I finally got transferred to another school, but…

"As another poster mentioned, addiction is about getting away from some kind of unbearable inner pain" Could you please give ideas how to id that pain? To be personally specific, my mother never told me positive things, always comparing me to some perfect ideal, and I also was beaten up for not good grades. These seem a "perfect" explanation from what I've read, but still I don't really see them as the cause of my pr…

Think about various experiences, and observe the patterns by which your body becomes tense.

If the pattern matches a chronic condition, that is your cause.

Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

#167

Post by aestra »

dave_sullivan wrote: post #25
duncan_bayne wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No, please don't. http://skepfeeds.wordpress.com/2009/02/04/alcoholics-anonymo... There are more effective, non religious, evidence based treatments for addiction. Edited to add: Penn and Teller covered AA here: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yUG9dr6SZSY Also: http://www.psmag.com/navigation/books-and-culture/75-years-a...

Wow, that Penn and Teller thing is horrible. About 3:30 when they're reading from the AA book -- "I admit that I am powerless over alcohol" as Teller makes fun like it's the stupidest idea ever. A lot of the people you'll find in AA really do need to admit they're powerless over alcohol. That's no joke. But Penn and Teller readily admit they've never had a drink in their lives (it was a choice we made, a path we neve…

>And for all the people bitching about how AA is religious -- it's not! The "higher power" thing is more of a philosophy than a religion.

Bull-fucking-shit.

I've read the AA "big book" (enough of it that I could stand). It is a religious book. The part about non-believers is especially offensive - to me. It quotes from the Bible, it explicitly refers to the Judeo-Christian God. Many court have ruled people can't be forced to attend AA meetings because it violates the first amendment's freedom of religion clause.[1] If it wasn't religious organization, then it wouldn't.

AA can actively harmful - to some people. This whole "go to AA if you have an addition as a first step for everyone" is complete and total nonsense.

If people seek AA, struggle with the concept of a higher power, you know GOD, they might think they can't get better. If you are religious, seek AA, if you are not, don't. I disagree completely that AA is a universal treatment. It is not.

As I said before - I know an addict, he avoids getting help because he believes that the 12 step programs are offensive. (I share the same opinion - however I acknowledge they work for some people and that's good - I just disagree they should be the "go to" programs for everyone) He knows AA doesn't work for him, but he doesn't know there are non-religious programs and people who have gotten better without religion.

Preaching AA as a first step or a cure all is harmful to these people.

Do I have personal experience with addition - absolutely. I was never an addict, but I grew up all my life with an addict parent.

[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcoholics_Anonymous#United_Sta...

United States courts have ruled that inmates, parolees, and probationers cannot be ordered to attend AA. Though AA itself was not deemed a religion, it was ruled that it contained enough religious components (variously described in Griffin v. Coughlin below as, inter alia, "religion", "religious activity", "religious exercise") to make coerced attendance at AA meetings a violation of the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment of the constitution.[88][89] In September 2007, United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit stated that a parole office can be sued for ordering a parolee to attend AA.[90][91]

Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

#168

Post by bitcrusher »

baby wrote: post #162
awshepard wrote: post #151

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> even people who practice half-hour daily buddhist meditation praise its beneficial effects on mental and physical well being. Wanted to lend some weight to this. I've practiced mindful meditation on and off for a year or so. I've never hit an hour or even half an hour at a time, but I will say it is fairly effective for recalibrating your mental state even with just a few minutes a day. I find myself much more pati…

I don't know about meditation, but when I write in the morning I feel like I can think more clearly and express myself more easily during the day. Might be a form of "re-arranging" your brain.

It's a well known technique... Stream of Consciousness writing in the morning is very effective at clearing out the mind before the day starts.

Some Artists use this and call it "morning pages" (Check out "The Artists Way". )

Re: I am a successful software dev but I have a serious drinking problem

#169

Post by aestra »

duncan_bayne wrote: post #10
gjvc wrote: post #3

Please find a meeting near you. http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/

No, please don't. http://skepfeeds.wordpress.com/2009/02/04/alcoholics-anonymo... There are more effective, non religious, evidence based treatments for addiction. Edited to add: Penn and Teller covered AA here: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yUG9dr6SZSY Also: http://www.psmag.com/navigation/books-and-culture/75-years-a...

http://skeptics.stackexchange.com/questions/1852/is-alcoholi...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcoholics_Anonymous#Effectiven...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcoholics_Anonymous#Criticism

A Cochrane Review of eight studies, published between 1967 and 2005, measuring the effectiveness of AA, found "no experimental studies unequivocally demonstrated the effectiveness of AA" in treating alcoholism, based on a meta-analysis of the results of eight trials involving a total of 3,417 individuals. To determine further the effectiveness of AA, the authors suggested that more studies comparing treatment outcomes with control groups were necessary.

One indication AA isn't based in science - it is supposedly a panacea, a cure all for whatever ails you. There is literary HUNDREDS of different twelve step programs, one for everything!

AA is also harmful because it make members say the are "you have hit rock bottom, your life is out of control, you are powerless against your addiction." This is harmful to people who may otherwise seek help for harmful drinking habits that haven't become a full blown addiction yet. It is also very degrading for some people.

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