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Did porn warp me forever?

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Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#181

Post by nashequilibrium » Mon, Jan 14, 2013, 6:28 AM UTC

VigUi7vv8G2 wrote: post #121

_ddkb wrote: post #85

I know this is outing myself but this is my personal experience. I won't post anonymously in case anyone wants to contact me. I came to the realization about 2 years that I am addicted to porn. For anyone out there struggling with the same thing, it can get better and yes, it is probably having a negative influence on your life. Previously I would look about once per week but in the past 6 months, I have probably vie…

> Each time you view something new, your brain gives a hit of dopamine. Oh dear god. That is not how dopamine works. Dopamine is a chemical that your brain secretes when you are trying to get something, not once you get it - so when you're hungry, for example, you'll have higher dopamine levels. Then when you eat, they go back down. The actual sensation of higher dopamine levels is stress and anxiousness - it actuall…

These kinds of comments prevent people expressing their feelings because of fear that every word, every technical detail will be analysed and if you are incorrect, someone will come down really hard on you and at the same time take away from the crux of the conversation. You may be right in the issues you point out but you are too harsh and not compassionate. A HN member has taken their time to share something personal, give them some leeway, be understanding and you can go one comment without trying to look smart.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#182

Post by notdonspaulding » Mon, Jan 14, 2013, 6:33 AM UTC

I can definitely relate to the author. I first found porn at the age of 14. I'm 29 now, and until recently, porn has always been something I've "struggled with".

I've seen several comments that have opposed what I would call the Church & Moral perspective on porn, without really having an example of what that perspective is. Let me put forth a few claims, so those of you who would disagree with them have something concrete to which to attach your arguments.

FWIW, I'm a religious person. I've been married for 9 years, and I've only ever been physically intimate with my wife. I accept that that deeply colors my perception of the world and this issue specifically.

Here are my claims:

- Porn is designed to be "used" by an individual to satisfy themselves sexually.

- Especially when encountered at a formative age (such as the author's and my own), porn greatly influences your perception of "good sex".

- Pornography and sexual intimacy are diametrically opposed.

- Sexual intimacy is more satisfying, on the whole, than porn.

- There is no such thing as "harmless porn".

Finally, a standing invitation. If you ever want more information on the mainstream evangelical Christian viewpoint on pornography, or my viewpoint specifically, feel free to email me at donspauldingii at googlemail dot com

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#183

Post by corwinstephen » Mon, Jan 14, 2013, 6:34 AM UTC

jmathai wrote: post #147

VigUi7vv8G2 wrote: post #142

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would appreciate it if people stopped making up or repeating ridiculous pseudo-scientific explanations for whatever it is they want to believe.

I read something on Twitter the other day which reminds me of you. "I'm a content creator. My content is criticizing other people's content." https://twitter.com/VectorBelly/status/289489202742181888

On a forum like Hackernews where the purpose of the entire thing is to gain knowledge and expand wisdom, it's perfectly reasonable to expect people not to post things when they have no clue what they're talking about. If the guy had posted an opinion based on fact, it would have been fair game, but this particular opinion was based on nothing more than colloquial beliefs which perpetuate fallacy.

In my opinion, he was right to criticize. If he hadn't, I'd be going around telling people about how my brain is becoming dopamine tolerant due to the bursts of it I get every time I watch porn. I'm glad I know that's not true.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#184

Post by lizzard » Mon, Jan 14, 2013, 6:35 AM UTC

I wish you would all read this brilliant speech by Andrea Dworkin. Try to keep an open mind for a seed of truth, even if you come from a very different place politically.

http://www.nostatusquo.com/ACLU/dworkin/WarZoneChaptIIIE.htm...

". . . if equality is what you want and what you care about, then you have to fight for the institutions that will make it socially real. It is not just a matter of your attitude. You can't think it and make it exist. You can't try sometimes, when it works to your advantage, and throw it out the rest of the time. Equality is a discipline. It is a way of life."

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#185

Post by haberman » Mon, Jan 14, 2013, 6:39 AM UTC

VigUi7vv8G2 wrote: post #121

_ddkb wrote: post #85

I know this is outing myself but this is my personal experience. I won't post anonymously in case anyone wants to contact me. I came to the realization about 2 years that I am addicted to porn. For anyone out there struggling with the same thing, it can get better and yes, it is probably having a negative influence on your life. Previously I would look about once per week but in the past 6 months, I have probably vie…

> Each time you view something new, your brain gives a hit of dopamine. Oh dear god. That is not how dopamine works. Dopamine is a chemical that your brain secretes when you are trying to get something, not once you get it - so when you're hungry, for example, you'll have higher dopamine levels. Then when you eat, they go back down. The actual sensation of higher dopamine levels is stress and anxiousness - it actuall…

Find some decency. Your tone is appropriate for someone who is being argumentative or obstinate, not someone who has made himself vulnerable in a good faith attempt to help other people.

Your content was helpful and your points are important; you could have done the same without being mean.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#186

Post by jaggederest » Mon, Jan 14, 2013, 6:40 AM UTC

rdtsc wrote: post #164

VigUi7vv8G2 wrote: post #142

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would appreciate it if people stopped making up or repeating ridiculous pseudo-scientific explanations for whatever it is they want to believe.

> I would appreciate it Oh, you would? How dare everyone on the internet not cater to your expectations. Someone from the community shared a story of personal struggle. They didn't hide behind a pseudonym, and it was probably a hard decision for them. They also, did in hopes it would help someone else. They might not have used precise definitions or scientifically correct terms but they were honest and civil and even…

They were also clearly incorrect.

No matter how hard their struggle is, it's akin to linking vaccines to autism - no amount of personal pain overrides factual inaccuracy.

It's an extremely important part of public discourse that incorrectness be called out, in a polite way, but clearly and forcefully.

This is akin to 'balancing' a debate about evolution by having an evolutionary biologist there and a doctor of theology there. Just because there is debate does not mean that there is not a clearly correct answer.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#187

Post by corporalagumbo » Mon, Jan 14, 2013, 6:41 AM UTC

If he had paid attention when he read his Foucault, he'd be keeping quiet rather than wringing his hands and dissecting himself on a major website.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#188

Post by lizzard » Mon, Jan 14, 2013, 6:41 AM UTC

The really amazing thing about this article is that I'm supposed to care more about this guy's boner, and guilt complex, than I care about the systematic oppression and degradation of my half of the human species.

Really . . . What a wanker!

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#189

Post by [deleted] » Mon, Jan 14, 2013, 6:43 AM UTC

_ddkb wrote: post #85

I know this is outing myself but this is my personal experience. I won't post anonymously in case anyone wants to contact me. I came to the realization about 2 years that I am addicted to porn. For anyone out there struggling with the same thing, it can get better and yes, it is probably having a negative influence on your life. Previously I would look about once per week but in the past 6 months, I have probably vie…

[deleted]

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#190

Post by danenania » Mon, Jan 14, 2013, 6:49 AM UTC

PaperclipTaken wrote: post #141

I have tried to quit porn before. In high school I tried very hard, for religious reasons. I never succeeded. In college I got to the point where 2 30-90 minute sessions daily was the norm. I then tried to quit again. I went 5 days, and then 4 days, and then gave up on the idea, resigning myself to immense sexual activity. Every month or so, I'll go on a complete rampage with as many as 10 orgasms a day for 2-3 days,…

I'd recommend that you quit the porn for awhile just to show yourself that you can. But to me it sounds like the issue for you is probably less about porn specifically and more just being inside, on the computer, and in your own head too much. Try taking a few days in a row to get up early and be outside, active, and away from the computer all day, ideally with other people you enjoy being around if possible.

Hiking, camping trips, road trips with friends, even volunteering are all things that can help you to clear out compulsive and destructive thought cycles and get a better outlook on things. The world is a really beautiful, rich, and incredible place--porn is quite empty and boring by comparison. Even in the realms of sexuality and eroticism, you can find a lot more potent and interesting forms of arousal out there if you open up to other people and new experiences. I'd guess if you could start to do that, the pull porn has on you would naturally subside.

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