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Did porn warp me forever?

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Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#141

Post by PaperclipTaken »

I have tried to quit porn before. In high school I tried very hard, for religious reasons. I never succeeded. In college I got to the point where 2 30-90 minute sessions daily was the norm.

I then tried to quit again. I went 5 days, and then 4 days, and then gave up on the idea, resigning myself to immense sexual activity. Every month or so, I'll go on a complete rampage with as many as 10 orgasms a day for 2-3 days, rarely coming out of my room. Sometimes it even interferes with food.

My sexual tastes have grown increasingly complex, sometimes illegal, sometimes not outwardly sexual at all (example, the thought of loneliness in a girl). It has changed how I look at nearly everything, but I'm not ready to conclude that it has been for the worse.

I had sex for the first time this week. I didn't climax. My parter had no issues but I was completely uninterested, which is interesting because I had been looking forward (greatly) to the encounter for more than a week. But when it finally happened... complete disinterest. I did my best to think of porn and at least play along, but part of me felt that was more rude than just failing to climax so I sat back and let my partner enjoy her share. ED was no issue.

It's worth adding that I had never met the girl before, seen pics and talked via phone but never met in person. I had little (if any) emotional attraction to the girl, and for this reason specifically I'm not very worried. It just caught my attention because I would never have guessed that a 19yo boy would go through 40 minutes of sex with an attractive girl and not climax.

Since then I've been more motivated to quit, but I'm still not ready to conclude that porn has been a negative or bad experience. It has consistently given me a lot to think about, especially watching my interests and needs shift over the past few years. I've noticed a better control over my need for porn but it's only been a few days.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#142

Post by VigUi7vv8G2 »

_ddkb wrote: post #124
VigUi7vv8G2 wrote: post #121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Each time you view something new, your brain gives a hit of dopamine. Oh dear god. That is not how dopamine works. Dopamine is a chemical that your brain secretes when you are trying to get something, not once you get it - so when you're hungry, for example, you'll have higher dopamine levels. Then when you eat, they go back down. The actual sensation of higher dopamine levels is stress and anxiousness - it actuall…

Thanks for the article. I'm still trying to learn more about it. However, I would appreciate it if you did not judge me and wrote your response in a more polite manner.

I would appreciate it if people stopped making up or repeating ridiculous pseudo-scientific explanations for whatever it is they want to believe.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#143

Post by Evbn »

_ddkb wrote: post #116
CKKim wrote: post #102

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"I am addicted to porn"..."I would look about once per week" It seems odd to me that being addicted to porn would go with only looking "about once per week". I think I understand how this could still be technically an addiction, but compared to other addictions and - I imagine - especially porn addictions, it seems rather bizarre. Certainly if pornography was only being consumed once a week then the rate of let's cal…

The definition of addiction I heard that I agree with was something like "An activity that causes an overall negative effect on your life that you do not have control over." This definitely fit with my experience. It was definitely a cycle for me. Alcoholics do not have to have a drink every day to be an alcoholic. In fact, one of the points of the AA program that people need to learn is they are always an alcoholic.…

No need to reply in a public forum, but if you are watching porn all day after masturbating, then you may be addicted. If you are watching porn and not masturbating, you may be misunderstanding the purpose of the material.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#144

Post by Evbn »

CKKim wrote: post #119
_ddkb wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The definition of addiction I heard that I agree with was something like "An activity that causes an overall negative effect on your life that you do not have control over." This definitely fit with my experience. It was definitely a cycle for me. Alcoholics do not have to have a drink every day to be an alcoholic. In fact, one of the points of the AA program that people need to learn is they are always an alcoholic.…

Ah, got it. Thanks very much for the explanation. The alcohol analogy makes it lucid. When it comes to pornography I'm definitely a "glass of red wine with dinner from time to time" kind of person (TMI?), so it was out of my frame of reference to know what kind of behaviour you were describing. "I would notice that I would put so much stress on my body, that it would really take me about a week to recover and feel no…

It would be really sweet if you meant that as a nice meal, a glass of wine, a laptop, and a towel.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#145

Post by the_cat_kittles »

VigUi7vv8G2 wrote: post #142
_ddkb wrote: post #124

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thanks for the article. I'm still trying to learn more about it. However, I would appreciate it if you did not judge me and wrote your response in a more polite manner.

I would appreciate it if people stopped making up or repeating ridiculous pseudo-scientific explanations for whatever it is they want to believe.

No need to attack the person, especially when they responded with grace.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#146

Post by Evbn »

PaperclipTaken wrote: post #141

I have tried to quit porn before. In high school I tried very hard, for religious reasons. I never succeeded. In college I got to the point where 2 30-90 minute sessions daily was the norm. I then tried to quit again. I went 5 days, and then 4 days, and then gave up on the idea, resigning myself to immense sexual activity. Every month or so, I'll go on a complete rampage with as many as 10 orgasms a day for 2-3 days,…

You sound like millions of other hormonally charged teens. You will be fine.

Porning all day is over doing it, but still is far better than syphilis and herpes and AIDS and surprise pregnancy jealousy and heartbreak and all the jazz that comes with immature sex outside of a committed relationship.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#147

Post by jmathai »

VigUi7vv8G2 wrote: post #142
_ddkb wrote: post #124

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thanks for the article. I'm still trying to learn more about it. However, I would appreciate it if you did not judge me and wrote your response in a more polite manner.

I would appreciate it if people stopped making up or repeating ridiculous pseudo-scientific explanations for whatever it is they want to believe.

I read something on Twitter the other day which reminds me of you.

"I'm a content creator. My content is criticizing other people's content."

https://twitter.com/VectorBelly/status/289489202742181888

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#149

Post by gavingmiller »

Falling3 wrote: post #133
_ddkb wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The definition of addiction I heard that I agree with was something like "An activity that causes an overall negative effect on your life that you do not have control over." This definitely fit with my experience. It was definitely a cycle for me. Alcoholics do not have to have a drink every day to be an alcoholic. In fact, one of the points of the AA program that people need to learn is they are always an alcoholic.…

There are many criticism towards the AA program... just because Bill Wilson think you're always an alcoholic does not make it so.

Typically someone in AA will say that they're a recovering alcoholic vs an alcoholic. There is a distinct difference.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#150

Post by Falling3 »

_ddkb wrote: post #140
Falling3 wrote: post #133

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There are many criticism towards the AA program... just because Bill Wilson think you're always an alcoholic does not make it so.

I understand the 12 step programs are not perfect. No program is perfect. I don't understand your point. Are you trying to say that I'm not addicted? It took me many years to realise that this is an addiction for me but it did help me to admit that. I do believe in that part of the program that it needs to be considered a problem before a person can work on improving it. Edit: I can't respond to your comment below bu…

I'm not making any judgements on your own addictions - I'd never be that presumptuous. To be honest, I've only begun to look into AA's culture and theories. I feel it's an understatement to say that it's not perfect. Half of the steps specifically mention god - that does not sound like me like a necessary (or even helpful) part of treatment for alcoholism. People have also pointed out similarities between them and cults (which I have begun to see in the members that I know).

I don't know how I feel yet about the idea that someone is always an addict. I do know the fact that AA believes and teaches it is absolutely no reason to consider it to be factual.

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