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Did porn warp me forever?

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Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#161

Post by pixl97 »

jacoblyles wrote: post #120
psykotic wrote: post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> However, he paints the picture that porn has been with our society forever and that its effects are known and tolerable. I would argue that its widespread availability is an extremely novel phenomena and that its effects are unknown and likely harmful. You haven't clearly defined what you mean by harmful. Does it ruin otherwise healthy relationships on a massive scale? Does it teach impressionable young men that al…

>"Porn is widespread enough that you'd expect the large-scale statistical effects to be manifest." There is certainly a modern syndrome around the nexus of sex, relationships, and family (less stable relationships, fewer children raised in stable homes, fewer children, more sex, more sexual culture, technology that lowers the cost of sex, easy access to porn). It's hard to know which pieces of the syndrome are causes…

What is it that has changed for the worse?

More equality for women? That has improved. Access to abortion? That has improved? Domestic abuse and assault in sexual relationship? Are there any good statistics on these trends? Courts upholding child support agreements with force of law. Don't pay your child support and see what happens.

The reason something may appear broken with modern relationships is the fact we are looking at them thru historical perspective, when it was much less likely a person could survive and raise children while not married. The fact is so many things have changed (at least in the U.S. where I am) in the last 50 year the chain of causality is likely impossible to unwrap.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#162

Post by rhizome »

Mz wrote: post #74

Both his parents were psychologists.* Any psych major knows the old saw that you probably got bad stuff like this from your parents. Some of the psych majors I have personally known struck me as folks who had no clue how humans work and were hoping to get a clue by majoring in it. When I went to GIS school, this observation was reinforced by a classmate who had a Master's in Psychology and was looking to change caree…

There's an old saying, "people study psychology to figure out their own problems."

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#163

Post by just2n »

counterdatapt wrote: post #58

As a counter data point, I immensely enjoy both porn and real sex. I've never had troubles "getting it up" or ejaculating.

I agree and I'm the same. I can relate to many of the stories told by the author, however I find real sex immensely more exciting, to the extent that even when viewing porn I will often fantasize about sex I've actually had. I also think more about women I meet and date than I do about porn I've watched (and I've watched pretty much everything there is).

I am curious though, was your upbringing liberal regarding sex, or was it considered a taboo as well? For me, it was very much even taboo to think about it, even though I later found out this is terribly hypocritical considering those telling us it was taboo were doing it just as much as we would eventually. I even got in trouble for uttering the word "condom" once, almost to the same extent as for saying "fuck", which seems utterly ridiculous to me now. I'm curious if sex having been taboo for so many years is actually what makes it more stimulating, or if it's just a difference in sexuality from person to person.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#164

Post by rdtsc »

VigUi7vv8G2 wrote: post #142
_ddkb wrote: post #124

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thanks for the article. I'm still trying to learn more about it. However, I would appreciate it if you did not judge me and wrote your response in a more polite manner.

I would appreciate it if people stopped making up or repeating ridiculous pseudo-scientific explanations for whatever it is they want to believe.

> I would appreciate it

Oh, you would? How dare everyone on the internet not cater to your expectations.

Someone from the community shared a story of personal struggle. They didn't hide behind a pseudonym, and it was probably a hard decision for them. They also, did in hopes it would help someone else.

They might not have used precise definitions or scientifically correct terms but they were honest and civil and even after you insulted them.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#165

Post by larrys »

Mz wrote: post #74

Both his parents were psychologists.* Any psych major knows the old saw that you probably got bad stuff like this from your parents. Some of the psych majors I have personally known struck me as folks who had no clue how humans work and were hoping to get a clue by majoring in it. When I went to GIS school, this observation was reinforced by a classmate who had a Master's in Psychology and was looking to change caree…

I would confirm that from my observation and interaction over the years as well. I wonder if there has been any study in that area that proves or disproves.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#166

Post by pixl97 »

a_bonobo wrote: post #50
Skoofoo wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Porn isn't bad, it's a part of society now and has been for a long while Logically speaking, that doesn't mean it's not a bad thing. EDIT: Porn is indeed almost a staple of Western society, but note that Western culture is also very image-focused and has high rates of divorce and eating disorders among women.

>Porn is indeed almost a staple of Western society I present to you, old Japanese porn: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dream_of_the_Fisherman%27s... And here's a documentary about ancient Egyptian porn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7HttHvJ8Gc And here's a book about Mesopotamian porn: http://books.google.com.au/books/about/The_erotic_reliefs_of... What I want to say is that porn is not only a staple of Western…

I couldn't post to one of the children under you, so I'll post here, agreeing with you.

http://www.japanese-buddhism.com/giant-pink-penis-festival.h...

The Japanese have had a penis festival since the 1600's.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maypole#Scandinavia

"The central part played by young children in the celebration emphasize the procreation aspect of the celebration"

We've had celebrations and representations of sexuality throught history.

The Romans took to this a climax (pun intended)

http://www.mariamilani.com/ancient_rome/Ancient_Roman_Orgy.h...

Interesting thing is in most of these historical cases, there is a strong authoritarian push to stop these festivals to keep from corrupting people. This is the wheel of history coming around again.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#167

Post by gavingmiller »

Falling3 wrote: post #154
Falling3 wrote: post #150

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not making any judgements on your own addictions - I'd never be that presumptuous. To be honest, I've only begun to look into AA's culture and theories. I feel it's an understatement to say that it's not perfect. Half of the steps specifically mention god - that does not sound like me like a necessary (or even helpful) part of treatment for alcoholism. People have also pointed out similarities between them and cu…

>Most of what you're saying about AA is false. 4 of the 12 steps mention God. And if you look deeper into the material, God is in reference to a Higher Power or "Power greater than ourselves." >Some examples of a Higher Power can include: a sponsor, the group in general, a (big G or little g) god, a door knob. The principle is about believing in something greater than yourself. No, it is not. Four of the steps use th…

When, therefore, we speak to you of God, we mean your own conception of God. - pg 47 of The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous; Fourth Edition

One's own conception of God could be any of those things I listed. Personally, I have spent nearly 4 years in an AA group. So rest assured, I have read the steps.

As to what is taught - God referring to Allah, The Flying Spaghetti Monster, Jesus, Mohammed, etc. - depends on the group/person/persons you've received your information from. There is no governing body for AA, and every group is completely self sustaining. Individual traditions, teachings, and cultures grow naturally in each group providing slight variance from group to group. However the core will always come back to God being whatever you choose God to be.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#168

Post by cm2012 »

Yes, I'm glad someone is putting the truth out there that pretty much everyone from the Millennial generation has been watching porn since our pre-teens. The vast majority, as far a s I know, havn't experienced problems from it. There is a vocal minority like in r/nofap, but considering that literally 99.9% of millions of males do it, that can't be a surprise.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#169

Post by vy8vWJlco »

w1ntermute wrote: post #64

I remember reading just a couple of weeks back about how this issue goes away after abstaining from porn for a month or two. They called it "porn detox" I think.

Assuming there is such a state, calling it detox implies it's normal or good. I'd be curious what, if any, physiological changes result to reduce the influence of one's sex drive. If so, why not "simply" auto-castration? (If the goal is to reject one's drives...)

I see a general male catharsis that borders on the neurotic. Society demands verile/potent men who can, at the same time, subjugate themselves fully to society and their mates.

Re: Did porn warp me forever?

#170

Post by jacoblyles »

philwelch wrote: post #156
jacoblyles wrote: post #120

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>"Porn is widespread enough that you'd expect the large-scale statistical effects to be manifest." There is certainly a modern syndrome around the nexus of sex, relationships, and family (less stable relationships, fewer children raised in stable homes, fewer children, more sex, more sexual culture, technology that lowers the cost of sex, easy access to porn). It's hard to know which pieces of the syndrome are causes…

Out of curiosity, what statistics are you referring to?

Children raised in single-parent homes, children born out of marriage, and rates of divorce all started skyrocketing in the 60s. The upper class has been less effected, as Charles Murray's book "Coming Apart" shows. Divorce, single-parenthood, and other symptoms of sexual liberation went up slightly for the upper class in the 60s and then leveled off. But in the lower classes the standard family has become the exception to the norm.

Today, you have stats like this: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2103235/Most-childre... or this: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/13/health/13mothers.html?_r=0

Again, I'm not saying porn or a less repressed culture are causative, but they are part of the syndrome we observe that sex is less serious and more pervasive, relationships are more temporary, and children grow up in more chaotic homes at a distinct disadvantage to children that grow up in stable homes. The family is disappearing for a large portion of the population. Marriage is later. Children are fewer - especially for the upper class. You have more wealth in the country and more children being raised in poverty by a single parent.

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