Earlier quoted context omitted.
> I can only speculate, but usually when such phrases come up, it's about things like not being part of the in-group - people they know throwing parties and not inviting them, etc. Concerning "part of the in-group": It is very usual that in Germany, you don't become a "friend" fast (the German translation of "friend", [der] Freund, has a much deeper meaning than the US-American understanding of the English word). Fri…
> If you do shallow smalltalk (as it is very common in the USA), you signal that you only want a shallow relationship. That sounds like an extremely obnoxious judgement. > If you want a deep friendship, better bring something deep to the table. At some point sure. Are you suggesting launching into deep conversation when you meet someone?
I am strongly suggesting not to start with shallow smalltalk, as it is common in the USA.
I would start with serious conversations when I meet someone to get a feeling. But if the "vibe" is right, you can indeed get deep rather soon.