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Ask HN: How to be alone?

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Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?

#491

Post by 4fterd4rk »

noosphr wrote: post #368
rfc3092 wrote: post #248

To get things out of the way: yes it is hard being alone. But it is also hard to be with someone and is very hard to take care of kids and family and such. And it is waaay harder to be with wrong person. There are no easy roads in life and being single is one of the easiest. Now I’ll focus on practical advise: - gym every day. No excuses. If you don’t know what to do or lack motivation- get a personal trainer. - besi…

- gym every day. No excuses. If you don’t know what to do or lack motivation- get a personal trainer. Do you people even go to the gym at all? You need time to recover. Between 3 to 5 days is the most you can humanly do. And that's if you vary your exercises as suggested by a (good) personal trainer. Any more than that and you're just asking for overtraining syndrome. Doubly so if you're nearly 40. Edit: after seeing…

Do YOU go to the gym at all?

I lift four times a week. Two days a week I do intense cardio. One day a week I do something low impact like yoga or a treadmill incline walk. "Active recovery" is not a new concept.

Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?

#492

Post by Abekkus »

butILoveLife wrote: post #484
nlavezzo wrote: post #469

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'd strongly disagree with this. Since becoming serious about my faith as a 15 year old from a non-christian background, my life and my friend group has gotten progressively better. I had an existential crisis that helped bring me to faith - basically what is the point of anything if there's nothing beyond this world of matter? I've not had one since, as I don't believe this world of matter is all there is.

Yeah... Don't read philosophy. Don't seek truth. And if you do, you better have a new game plan for happiness and your friend group.

How about the truth that most communities are built around some kind of nonsense, and maybe you can deal with a bit of nonsense to enjoy the benefits of community?

Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?

#493

Post by globular-toast »

kidbomb wrote: post #473
silcoon wrote: post #374

Some advice from my experience. - Working remotely by yourself every day sucks. Get a coworking space, shared office, work from a cafe, at least a few days a week. - Go out. Riding a bike, hiking or even bringing your dog out three times a day keeps you stimulated and makes your body moving. Go to the mountain, go to the beach, go to rivers and parks. - Join clubs that interest you. You like cinema? Join cinema a cin…

> Working remotely by yourself every day sucks The best thing is to have the OPTION to either work at home or at the office. Sometimes, you need the focus. But sometimes, you need to see people.

100%. I have the option to go into the office whenever I want. I never do, but I'm glad I have the option.

If I had to choose I'd still go fully remote over having to pointless sit in an office all day, though.

Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?

#494

Post by mapcars »

windowliker wrote: post #403
mapcars wrote: post #378

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You are born out of another human but even they can never understand you fully, they can never experience you fully, they can never know you fully. The problems of parents and kids are all coming from that and are old as time. If even parents can't do that there is no chance with other people. This is the trick of the universe, or a trade-off if you will: being completely alone also means being completely free in ter…

You're arguing for solipsism.

I don't think so. Solipsism is not being sure about what exists outside of mind.

I'm saying that others can't understand you fully, not just the mind but whole combination of memory, emotions, experiences, etc. Therefore being alone is not different from being surrounded by other people, I'm not saying they don't exist or anything like that.

Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?

#495

Post by rdevilla »

butILoveLife wrote: post #483
drojas wrote: post #474

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is my personal opinion. I think it doesn't have to be a short term fix. If you are curious enough and open minded you can find a long term relationship with God that doesn't contradict verifiable truth as long as you are willing to question collectively accepted "truths". For me, Natural theology has been one of the main foundations in my path to get closer to God. Understanding that physics stumbled upon the Sp…

I've read 9 years of philosophy. Its never happening. It gets worse than you know. Not only is the doctrinal god not real... not even the Stoic thiest god more valid than agnosticism. (Epistemology) It gets worse: There is nothing that says the words of human are more valid than looking to nature. There is 0 way to factually chose between them. (Epistemology) It continues to get worse: Circles aren't real, they are a…

You will be better served investigating alternative definitions of God, such as the pantheistic god; the panentheistic god (encompassing not just the physical universe but the intellectual one as well); or simply the Aristotelian "first cause" proven (non constructively) to exist of necessity by various cosmological arguments, rooted in ex nihilo, nihil fit and rejection of infinite regress (preferring axiomatics in the Munchhausen Trilemma).

It should be noted that even the late Hitch was unable to defeat the Kalam version of the cosmological argument in debate against Dr. Craig at Biola University.

With 9 years of philosophy reading it should be trivial for you to prompt-expand this comment into its full ramifications.

Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?

#496

Post by abirch »

butILoveLife wrote: post #454
drojas wrote: post #450

I would NOT recommend dating apps, you will most likely not find a real connection there and given the circumstances it might give you anxiety you don't need. I have had a similar path and situation lately and some things that have helped me are group activities like playing sports (I play soccer), group gym activities (I attend a strength and conditioning class) and most recently Bible study (I became friends with a…

The God thing is only temporary though. At some point you will seek Truth and the world will collapse on you.. Not only will you have an existential crisis, but your friend group will begin to shy away from you. But otherwise I basically agree. I think God is great for you in the psychological short term. Machiavelli to Dostoevsky agree.

I would say that the empirical data of the number of people who die with a belief in God may contradict your assumption. I'm not religious but I have many religious friends and family members.

Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?

#497

Post by keybored »

delichon wrote: post #77
card_zero wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Notice though that no specific reason is given: > hard emotional labor ⸻ that's not a selling point, > isolated ⸻ necessarily, that's the same as "alone", > waiting to die ⸻ not necessarily, why? > Being alone all the time is a kind of poverty, ⸻ "alone is bad", how? > A lone billionaire is less wealthy than a beggar with a loving family ⸻ "company is worth lots of money", how, why?

I hope that you live a long healthy, happy life without ever learning the answers to these questions.

No reasons given. But the Christmas Past vibes are perfect.

Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?

#498

Post by robeym »

butILoveLife wrote: post #471
greekrich92 wrote: post #422

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If OP finds this compelling, please consider a Quaker church to avoid the dogmatic and political baggage. Or perhaps a Unitarian church or Buddhist temple.

I am so conflicted with this stuff. You let old men tell you how to live your life, but it makes people so happy. People hate having freedom. Of course they are lying too, but those lies make people happy. I'm very conflicted.

Makes sense. I've found that Christianity, at its core, is the opposite. Freedom isn't forfeited, but actually found in one simple truth. The one truth actually leads to freedom: “I am the way, the truth, and the life,” and also that “the truth will set you free.”

Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?

#499

Post by robeym »

drojas wrote: post #450

I would NOT recommend dating apps, you will most likely not find a real connection there and given the circumstances it might give you anxiety you don't need. I have had a similar path and situation lately and some things that have helped me are group activities like playing sports (I play soccer), group gym activities (I attend a strength and conditioning class) and most recently Bible study (I became friends with a…

Completely agree. I found freedom, truth, comfort in Christ. From that relationship with God stems everything we need. “I am the way, the truth, and the life,” and “the truth will set you free.”

Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?

#500

Post by samspot »

noosphr wrote: post #368
rfc3092 wrote: post #248

To get things out of the way: yes it is hard being alone. But it is also hard to be with someone and is very hard to take care of kids and family and such. And it is waaay harder to be with wrong person. There are no easy roads in life and being single is one of the easiest. Now I’ll focus on practical advise: - gym every day. No excuses. If you don’t know what to do or lack motivation- get a personal trainer. - besi…

- gym every day. No excuses. If you don’t know what to do or lack motivation- get a personal trainer. Do you people even go to the gym at all? You need time to recover. Between 3 to 5 days is the most you can humanly do. And that's if you vary your exercises as suggested by a (good) personal trainer. Any more than that and you're just asking for overtraining syndrome. Doubly so if you're nearly 40. Edit: after seeing…

They said go every day, not do intense workouts every day. Plenty of things you can do at a gym that don't require recovery days. Being there so much should confer some social benefits too.
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