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Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

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Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#131

Post by mullingitover »

> So they sit on social media all day when they're not at work or school. How can we solve this?

The naive solution is to place blame on the people who are influenced by the most advanced behavior modification schemes ever devised by humans. Kinda like how the plastic producers will push recycling, knowing they can shift blame for the pollution away from their production of the pollution, because people love blaming. You'll see commenters here telling us that the answer is for people to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, get out, get involved in their communities under their own willpower. These ideas are doomed from the outset.

The real solution is already being enacted in a number of US states and countries[1]: legally restricting access to the poison, rather than blaming the people who are at the mercy of finely honed instruments of behavior modification when they're unable to stop drinking it under their own willpower.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_media_age_verification_...

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#132

Post by publicdebates »

kylehotchkiss wrote: post #34

build another software platform /s This community is not going to be the one to solve that problem, sorry.

HN has some odd people that don't jump to tech solutions for everything. Plus I'm banned from reddit for 3 days for making a dark joke, and besides, my reddit post asking the same thing went nowhere. At least people here engage in good faith and depth.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#133

Post by idontwantthis »

To paraphrase Barney Stinson:

When I'm feeling lonely, I stop feeling lonely and feel awesome instead.

There are lots of good suggestions in here. People just need to go do them. And if there are structural impediments to doing them, then eliminate those impediments.

I wasn't getting out enough during the day because I share the car with my wife. So I bought an EBike and now I go out all the time.

I chose to live in a place with things near by that I can go to.

Whenever I'm thinking, I'd like to go do an activity, but I need something else first, it's usually not true, or the other thing I need is easy to get.

People just need to decide to stop doing things that make them unhappy.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#135

Post by SeanAnderson »

null0ranje wrote: post #60
SeanAnderson wrote: post #51

I doubt it's the solution, but a silly program I want to build is something like this: - Give users a modern Tamagotchi - Give the digital pet a need to socialize. - Strap a basic LLM to it so users can talk to their pet. - Have the pet imprint on its owner through repeated socialization. - Owner goes to bed, pet still has social needs, goes out into the digital world to find other pets. - Pet talks to other pets whi…

It kind of sounds like you want to automate small talk. I think we need to have less tech, not more, if we're trying to solve this problem.

I could see how it could be interpreted that way!

In my mind, it's more like meeting new acquaintances at the dog park. Dogs start playing with each other and getting along and you end up chatting with the other dog's owner while watching the dogs play together. Trying to recreate those vibes with digital pets.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#136

Post by ecshafer »

digbybk wrote: post #127
ecshafer wrote: post #45

People need to purposefully and intentionally do things. Sitting home on an app, watching TV is easy. There is no fear or rejection, there is no work to get out of the house, there is no risk. But there is also no reward. My thoughts on this are you need to have multiple roots into your community. This is something that you go to often and talk to people, become a regular, say hi. Think back to how your parents or gr…

This is good advice for your friends and family, but a bad answer to the question. "How can we solve the obesity epidemic? Stop eating so much and get some exercise." Well sure, but this misses the big picture. We built a social infrastructure that encourages a sedentary, solitary life. We shouldn't be confused by physical and emotional health implications. We can expect some people to be proactive about it, but we c…

I guess we need to delete the internet and tv from existence.

I think that the more people getting out and putting effort in the better, it helps create a knock on effect.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#137

Post by SoftTalker »

iambateman wrote: post #111

The first place to look is suburban development. I wrote an article[0] on Tiny Neighborhoods (aka “Cohousing”) that starts with: > “I often wonder if the standard approach to housing is the best we can do. About 70% of Americans live in a suburb, which means that this design pattern affects our lives – where we shop, how we eat, who we know – more than any other part of modern life.” We have been so uncritical of the…

I posted on another subthread but I think this is largely an excuse. If you live in a typical suburb you have 15-20 families on your street. You can easily walk next door and chat or just say hello when you see someone outside. It takes initiative, which is the key thing that's missing. You either hide in your house or you get out and be sociable.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#139

Post by Aurornis »

asdfman123 wrote: post #119
ecshafer wrote: post #45

People need to purposefully and intentionally do things. Sitting home on an app, watching TV is easy. There is no fear or rejection, there is no work to get out of the house, there is no risk. But there is also no reward. My thoughts on this are you need to have multiple roots into your community. This is something that you go to often and talk to people, become a regular, say hi. Think back to how your parents or gr…

I think the trick is getting off social media. When I was a computer nerd in the 2000s, I noticed people used to like to hang around and chat, but I mostly didn't. Now, everyone is an internet addict, and I was just ahead of the curve. No one hangs around and chats anymore. When you get off social media, real life becomes far more interesting. The problem with addiction is that it's so stimulating that everything els…

> Now, everyone is an internet addict, and I was just ahead of the curve. No one hangs around and chats anymore.

A lot of the events and spaces I go to have people who hang around and chat.

I agree that internet use has had an impact, but I think it's easy to underestimate how much situations change as you grow up. Now that I have kids, it seems like we're always ending up in spaces where people are hanging out and chatting. As far as my kids know, that's just the way the world works.

I thought the same up through college, then I graduated and suddenly spontaneous socialization ended. I had to change my habits to go find other people.

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