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Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

news.ycombinator.com

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Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#51

Post by SeanAnderson »

I doubt it's the solution, but a silly program I want to build is something like this:

- Give users a modern Tamagotchi

- Give the digital pet a need to socialize.

- Strap a basic LLM to it so users can talk to their pet.

- Have the pet imprint on its owner through repeated socialization.

- Owner goes to bed, pet still has social needs, goes out into the digital world to find other pets.

- Pet talks to other pets while you're asleep, evaluates interactions, befriend those with good interactions.

- Owner wakes up the next morning, checks their pet, learns it befriended other pets based on shared interests, and is given an opportunity to connect with their pet's friends' owners. Ideally these connections have a better-than-random chance of succeeding since you're matched via shared interests.

I'm sure there's a ton of unsexy technical reasons this is hard to make work well in practice... but dang, I think it would be so cool if it worked well.

I realize this exacerbates the issue in some ways - promoting online-first interactions. But, I dunno. I'll take what I can get these days, lol.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#52

Post by ianberdin »

I visit whatever sport activity I can find. Like Go Karting, gymnastics, bouldering, etc and always start asking pro guys: “yo, how come you visit this so often? How do you get fun from it?”. And people lovely tell their story. Later they teach me how to do things. It works for me.

I am a solo bootstrap founder, ultra lonely.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#53

Post by SoftTalker »

ceejayoz wrote: post #33
jokoon wrote: post #16

Make a social network that is centered around people who live in a 1 kilometer radius Make them interact and do things, generally they will be less toxic because it will reduce their online disinhibition effect. Make them have meals, meet, walk at the park, whatever.

> Make a social network that is centered around people who live in a 1 kilometer radius… Don't know if they still do, but Nextdoor required address verification via a postcard early on. I was pretty shocked at what some people in my area would post under their real names and locations. (And well outside the realm of political nonsense. Someone posted a pic of their toddler's first poop in the potty.) I think the powe…

Civility and sense of decorum have greatly diminished in the past few decades especially online.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#54

Post by ceejayoz »

throwway120385 wrote: post #50
ceejayoz wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Make a social network that is centered around people who live in a 1 kilometer radius… Don't know if they still do, but Nextdoor required address verification via a postcard early on. I was pretty shocked at what some people in my area would post under their real names and locations. (And well outside the realm of political nonsense. Someone posted a pic of their toddler's first poop in the potty.) I think the powe…

When you have a toddler it's very surprising what becomes normal. We're potty-training our son and I sometimes get texts from my spouse with a picture of a poop in a bad spot and then just the word "help."

I mean, we did that, too. But there's a bit of a gulf between a text to the spouse and posting it for 20k people you run into regularly to see.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#55

Post by monkeyboykin »

I was addicted to weed from ages 15-23. I have clinical depression and anxiety/OCD (now medicated and stable). I basically isolated and got stuck in a loop of believing I was broken and a bad person. When I committed to quitting I joined addiction recovery groups and asked for help instead of trying to do it alone. I still rely on the wisdom I gained in AA/MA. Trust God, clean house, help others, go do something when you are in danger of wallowing in self pity. 4 years later, I have a few real friends and many acquaintances. I swing dance and volunteer. I work in a semi-social office. Life is good. I still get paranoid thoughts, but they don't own or define me. I wish the best to all the lonely programmers and alienated people out there.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#57

Post by arjie »

munificent wrote: post #32
arjie wrote: post #18

I am somewhat suspicious of this loneliness epidemic. 81% of Americans are somewhat satisfied or very satisfied with their personal life[0]. And my personal experience is that both close friends and general civil community is easy to find[1]. I wasn't trying at all so it can't be that there are any real constraints here. 0: https://news.gallup.com/poll/655493/new-low-satisfied-person... 1: https://wiki.roshangeorge.d…

> 81% of Americans are satisfied or very satisfied with their personal life[0]. No, 81% are "very satisfied" or "somewhat satisfied". I don't think "satisfied" is synonymous with "somewhat satisfied". It's worth noting, as the article states, that this is the lowest value in the history of the poll, going back to 2001. It shouldn't be too surprising that the overall value is high and stable over time. Hedonic adaptat…

It's a 5 point scale, so landing a 4 or 5 on satisfaction on a 5 point scale seems significant. Also, when the value was at its highest in that time series, Hacker News had articles like this: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20468767

The comments there are full of people describing this loneliness epidemic when 65% of people were very satisfied and 90% of people were "somewhat satisfied or very satisfied". No matter what surveys of people's satisfaction with their personal lives show, there appears to be an enthusiasm for this subject of the loneliness epidemic. This makes me suspect that this is less an epidemic than an 'endemic' (if you'll forgive the word).

Regardless, I didn't intend to mislead so I'll edit it to say "somewhat satisfied or very satisfied (4 or 5 on a 5 point scale).

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#58

Post by michaelrpeskin »

stetrain wrote: post #37

Maybe our built environment shouldn't consist solely of isolated houses in isolated gated communities where we drive our kids and sit in isolated cars in the school dropoff/pickup lines.

This may just be me, but I hold the opposite view.

When I lived in a rural area with a few acres of property, I was much more social and engaged with my community.

Now I live at the edge of the city in a medium-high density townhouse area with no private outdoor space. Since I can never really get away from people and be alone, I also have no desire to go out and do things and engage with the community.

I think the variability is nice. If I can get home, relax, not have people around, have some private outdoor space, then I can recharge and have the energy to engage more.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#60

Post by null0ranje »

SeanAnderson wrote: post #51

I doubt it's the solution, but a silly program I want to build is something like this: - Give users a modern Tamagotchi - Give the digital pet a need to socialize. - Strap a basic LLM to it so users can talk to their pet. - Have the pet imprint on its owner through repeated socialization. - Owner goes to bed, pet still has social needs, goes out into the digital world to find other pets. - Pet talks to other pets whi…

It kind of sounds like you want to automate small talk. I think we need to have less tech, not more, if we're trying to solve this problem.
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