After my dad died, we found the love letters

Post by bad_haircut72 » Sun, Nov 23, 2025, 3:54 PM UTC

hatefulmoron wrote: post #206

bad_haircut72 wrote: post #159

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For you and anyone else reading this I recommend the book "the designer relationship" - its actually about polyamory but I think it does a great job solidifying the concept that really, a relationship between two people can be basically whatever they want it to be, not defined by social norms. What comes first is open and honest communication and negotating through hard conversations to find a way of mutually meeting…

I admit that when reading the description of your relationship (I don't mean to be disrespectful, for what it's worth) I can't help but wonder how it can possibly be consistent with "a relationship between two people can be basically whatever they want it to be." It really reads like the relationship is whatever _she_ wants it to be. If you had come into the relationship with the understanding that you'd both date/ha…

Post by gurumeditations » Sun, Nov 23, 2025, 4:01 PM UTC

Post by itsalwaysgood » Sun, Nov 23, 2025, 4:07 PM UTC

shswkna wrote: post #183

crossroadsguy wrote: post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have heard this play out too many times. Most recently here, a college junior's wife revealed four months after marriage that she is actually a lesbian (she didn't share it – he caught her in their bedroom with a colleague of hers when he returned home early from the office), and he would be free to do what he wants; she should be too. Hit him hard, but he said they should go for an annulment— out of question; a di…

There is another, third perspective one can have on this. One can both find good reasons and explanations for his behaviour, and at the same time his choices can be judged harshly. I feel we have to heed the complexity of life and the situations people end in. Each of us has different tendencies. Some are by nature straight shooters. Others again, overthink a situation and lack the cognitive or emotional intelligence…

Post by spongebobstoes » Sun, Nov 23, 2025, 4:07 PM UTC

BeFlatXIII wrote: post #232

pcthrowaway wrote: post #92

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Many readers rely on articles being written in a specific language, does that mean every writer is obligated to publish every piece in every language? Has it occurred to anyone who sees capitalization as a must-have for legibility, that an opportunity is being presented to train oneself to read text without traditional capitalization? Maybe it's because I studied poetry, or because I was a voracious reader of experim…

I find that people who make a point out of violating writing norms as part of their house style typically don't have thoughts worth communicating. Nothing is missed by not training myself instead of reading something that flows smoothly.

Post by parpfish » Sun, Nov 23, 2025, 4:24 PM UTC

JKCalhoun wrote: post #146

pavlov wrote: post #75

Ouch. This hits incredibly hard. I’ve been this dad who sits frozen at the TV every evening. I had the affairs with the emotionally unavailable men, and became one myself. Before you judge the man in this story too harshly — and there’s certainly much to judge, especially given the follow-up post — consider the environment he and I grew up in. Being gay as a young teenager in the early 1990s could feel literally like…

I wasn't in any way judging the father harshly when I read it. I also read between the lines that there was additionally "traditional Asian culture" as another factor. I only questioned why he would have brought kids into the "union", but I can easily imagine that it was his wife's desire. A very sad story in general. I lost my mom a few years ago and I suspect I'll go to my grave still very sad about the could-have-…