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I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

wave3.social

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Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#501

Post by steveBK123 »

craftkiller wrote: post #458
dwighttk wrote: post #360

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Your impression is mistaken. E.g. Girl Scouts: allowed to be girls only Boy Scouts: now “Scouting” because girls are allowed My intramural sports in college had coed and women only teams

Those two scouts programs aren't even remotely comparable, both in substance and prestige. Many girl scout troops barely did any camping/outdoor activity, whereas boys got to earn the prestige of "eagle scout" and go on various outdoor adventures (multi-day treks through the mountains, building igloos and camping inside them, camping on an island only accessible by a canoe, etc). It was a tragedy that girls didn't ha…

Flip your own framing around - aren't there likely boys who would have preferred the Girl Scouts coded activities, and being disallowed from membership is therefore also an unfair dis-opportunity?

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#502

Post by steveBK123 »

dralley wrote: post #465
bluefirebrand wrote: post #439

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You actually think this organization made this decision on their own with no outside pressure, or internal pressure from women? I have a bridge to sell you

The "external pressure" was largely just the pressure of declining membership.

I mean if we are talking about BSA declining membership, one pretty large reason could be...

https://www.reuters.com/legal/us-supreme-court-lets-246-bill...

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#503

Post by meheleventyone »

jajko wrote: post #462
meheleventyone wrote: post #374

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You'll note that most people saying this stuff are being extremely non-specific about what it means. My impression is that a lot of what they want to do would be offensive to lots of guys as well. Essentially they want a space to act in a way that women would feel quite threatened by. Not that mixed groups don't already have that as an issue.

You couldnt be more wrong in your guessing. The answer lies in games all women play with both men and women constantly, never being truly honest with words, expecting men to pick up meaning between lines, predict their emotions and so on and on. We have enough shit in our lives already, no need to add more. Its frustrating and tiring experience for all men, thus the need to vent out somewhere else where these dynamic…

As a man I don't recognize that game playing as something all women do. It's just not something I've experienced in my relationships platonic or otherwise with women. Maybe it's a Europe vs. America thing (edit: from your other comments, you seem to be in Europe so not that) or something personal to you and your experience but it sounds very 'incel-adjacent'.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#504

Post by 542354234235 »

const_cast wrote: post #484
tdb7893 wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"if you are real, you are likely to be recorded doing something someone somewhere on the largest stage in the world (the public web) that someone will disapprove of" -> is this a concern for many men? It's never crossed my mind or been a problem for anyone I've known. "they never have to break the ice and talk to those around them in the breakroom or geographical space" -> I've always talked to people at work and als…

IMO this mostly stems from not having walkable, livable communities. People live in detached homes and they drive to work and the grocery store and… that’s it. There’s next to zero room for random events because travel becomes such a deliberate action. I can’t just pop into a cafe - first I need to find it and drive there. Also our social signals are completely fucked up. Headphones and phones means that most interac…

To add, in walkable communities you are much more likely to be a “regular” at more places, since you are walking to the places nearby, and to share multiple regular places with other people. Walking 15 minutes to 30 minutes still keep you in about a 1-2 mile radius, which is pretty small and has a lot of overlap with other people walking. So you are likely to see the same people at the bar as at the gym or the coffee shop.

If you are driving 15 minutes to 30 minutes, especially if you get on a highway for any amount of time, you could be anywhere in a 15+ mile radius. Your grocery store and your preferred bar could be 20 miles away from each other, so not likely you will run into Jim from the bar in the cereal aisle.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#505

Post by Workaccount2 »

steveBK123 wrote: post #435
SiempreViernes wrote: post #391

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's because the genders aren't valued equally by society, so they don't permute. Once gender equality is established they could switched and the statements would be equivalent.

I dunno, generationally we may be correcting a problem that will soon no longer exist, or even invert. Women are attending and graduating college in higher numbers than men in GenZ. Much of the man-o-sphere GenZ rightward turn seems to be resentment at society being sure what the use of men is anymore. That is, from a very young age girls are told they can do/be whatever they want. Often now, boys are described in te…

>You'll hear left wing progressive parents in places like NYC tell stories like "my 8 year old boy came home from school crying because his teacher told hime everything bad that has happened in history was because of men" and stupid stuff that's unthinkable if it was reversed.

People are bashing their heads on the wall trying to figure out why young white men are moving towards the right in droves...and the best answer they can come up with is misogyny.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#506

Post by TimorousBestie »

superb_dev wrote: post #156
chasebank wrote: post #113

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Probably not, but the country clubs where I live all have men's locker rooms that have full bars, poker tables, and lounge areas with big screen tv's.

I have to ask, is the locker room clubhouse clothing optional?

It’s a locker room; making them not clothing optional defeats the purpose.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#507

Post by ravenstine »

SiempreViernes wrote: post #391
xandrius wrote: post #375

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree with the post, if the genders were reversed, people wouldn't generally feel this open about it.

That's because the genders aren't valued equally by society, so they don't permute. Once gender equality is established they could switched and the statements would be equivalent.

Human beings will never be so fungible.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#508

Post by yesfitz »

cjohnson318 wrote: post #240

I think a lot of this boils down to the fact that most men are too insecure to engage with each other meaningfully. This causes them to appear overly competitive, or uninterested. How many times have you spoken to another man that can't stop trying to one-up you, or cannot be bothered to ask you a single question? That's the majority of my interactions with other men.

Is there a common thread between the men you describe beyond their gender?

I haven't experienced what you described since I was socializing with programmers and scientists on the East Coast. Now most of the men I socialize with are artists (at least part time) and IT generalists in the Midwest.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#509

Post by more_corn »

keiferski wrote: post #173

This idea appears every once in awhile, as it’s obviously a major issue in modern life. The interesting thing though is how the solution is always location-agnostic. By that I mean it’s never really about a specific cafe or restaurant or soccer field, it’s always an app or service that organizes people to show up in various places. I bring this up because if you look at places that had lively social activities a few…

Yeah my first thought reading the headline was “isn’t this just called the pub”?

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#510

Post by happymellon »

thfuran wrote: post #459
jajko wrote: post #402

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Women tend to behave very differently in all-female group compared to when even a single man is present. And if that man is charismatic or handsome its completely different dynamics and resulting behavior again. Never thought about it myself but one female friend mentioned this once (how toxic their work environment becomes when there is no man), so started noticing it around. As a married man I can understand these…

You're more open and honest with any man than with your wife?

I am very different around my wife than random women.

We aren't talking about spouses.

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