To be honest, I don't want another social media platform. I just want a group of people that I can talk computers, old tech and projects with and zero risk of politics, religion, or any of the various -isms entering the fray.
I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
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Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
#402Earlier quoted context omitted.
It’s not always location-agnostic, but you’re more likely to hear about location-agnostic efforts because they have further reach. For instance Men’s Sheds are a local effort with a thousand locations in the UK: > Men’s Sheds encourage people to come together to make, repair and repurpose, supporting projects in their local communities. Improving wellbeing, reducing loneliness and combatting social isolation. > Resea…
Why does the presence of women cause men to not have male friends?
Women tend to behave very differently in all-female group compared to when even a single man is present.
And if that man is charismatic or handsome its completely different dynamics and resulting behavior again.
Never thought about it myself but one female friend mentioned this once (how toxic their work environment becomes when there is no man), so started noticing it around.
As a married man I can understand these clubs fully. A man is never so relaxed, open and honest as when with other men, only men. I would expect the same among women, while accepting they always play their little games also just among themselves (which are very tiring for most men in long run and thus those clubs' popularity)
Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
#403Earlier quoted context omitted.
Don't disagree, but some hard things don't get said when the other gender is around, especially with men of a certain age. It takes a lot for many men to even out loud say the word "lonely" or "sad" or "worthless". A lot of male conversation is silent. The whole spiel is to project and feel capable of dealing with the world, to feel useful, to be a Man. To feel otherwise is not "masculine". To admit this to mixed com…
Funny, because the traditional role of a women is exactly to be the one who hears all these hard things and helps the man overcome them. Extra funny hat women should be excluded so men can talk about feeling lonely and how they wish they had a woman.
It’s not complicated. Men need women. But men need men, too. The needs are distinct and not interchangeable.
Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
#404Earlier quoted context omitted.
It’s not always location-agnostic, but you’re more likely to hear about location-agnostic efforts because they have further reach. For instance Men’s Sheds are a local effort with a thousand locations in the UK: > Men’s Sheds encourage people to come together to make, repair and repurpose, supporting projects in their local communities. Improving wellbeing, reducing loneliness and combatting social isolation. > Resea…
Why does the presence of women cause men to not have male friends?
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Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
#405Earlier quoted context omitted.
It’s not always location-agnostic, but you’re more likely to hear about location-agnostic efforts because they have further reach. For instance Men’s Sheds are a local effort with a thousand locations in the UK: > Men’s Sheds encourage people to come together to make, repair and repurpose, supporting projects in their local communities. Improving wellbeing, reducing loneliness and combatting social isolation. > Resea…
What I find a bit remarkable is how they lost control of their club dynamics so severely. I've been a regular attendee of a few hacker spaces that were open to the public but never had the problem they describe. I think maybe a key aspect is ensuring that all men, particular the ones that are classically unattractive (even repulsive) feel welcome as valued equals. Many women cannot countenance this and will try to sh…
Uh, they don't describe any problem though? The piece is about how everyone agrees the change is for the better, its only people in this thread that describe women and men woodworking together as a problem.
Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
#406Earlier quoted context omitted.
The men are there to meet each other, not to avoid women. Gender segregation isn't the point - it's about building relationships.
> The men are there to meet each other, not to avoid women. Gender segregation isn't the point - it's about building relationships. I'm not sure that's quite true. Men tend to talk and joke in a different way to women, which they then modify around women or be punished. The main difference between an old-school Personnel department and a modern HR department is HR is (self-)tasked with making sure the environment is…
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Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
#407Earlier quoted context omitted.
Why do they need to be male-only to solve the male loneliness epidemic? Why can't men socialize in public spaces in a way that isn't offensive to others? I say this as a former dude who has spent the vast, vast, vast majority of my life as a man, socializing with men and not-men, in public. I have never had a single issue.
Same reason why women like having women spaces. There certain experiences exclusive to being a male.
There are no women only spaces where I live. Nor were and no one complained. Unless you talk about monastery of toilette.
Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
#408The lack of deep friendships feel like a 3-fold problem. 1. You can't ever be real, if you are real, you are likely to be recorded doing something someone somewhere on the largest stage in the world (the public web) that someone will disapprove of, and someone else will raise their own profile by mining your impiety to prove their own concern and moral superiority. 2. Everyone is so mobile and connected online, they…
> Everyone is so mobile and connected online, they never have to break the ice and talk to those around them one of the unexpected consequences of social media is that people have been conflating being informed with being connected . asking "what have you been up to?" was to be a nice easy opening into a conversation that lead to connection. but thanks to broadcast updates on social media, your friends already know w…
Hasn't this kind of usage of « social media » died down a decade ago ?
Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
#409[flagged]
As is the case with everything, I'm certain it's more complicated than this, but I believe you've hit on a huge factor. I would encourage anyone who is interested in this (or skeptical of it!) to check out the work of Niobe Way, a psychologist who has been researching the social lives of adolescent boys for a couple decades. I would crudely summarize a key finding of her research as roughly: around 12-14 yrs of age b…
This is a natural response to the culture sexualizing everything and how lifestyles are celebrated.
Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic
#410I find it ironic that the site is missing information about its creators and their background given the mission/goals. Presume OP is the Nick in the contact at the bottom. If OP is reading I’d definitely suggest adding something about yourself and anyone else involved and why doing this matters to you.