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I Met Paul Graham Once

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Re: I Met Paul Graham Once

#711

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I see this argument all the time and I have so, so many questions about it. It just does not make a lot of sense to me. Please know that while we have fundamental disagreements, I am also genuinely trying to understand this worldview. According to your definition, what is an intersex person? How should one refer to one? There are intersex people who who look like women but have penises, and vice versa. You can simply…

The vast majority of people with some kind of intersex disorder are still very clearly either male or female. Hermaphrodites, that is, people whose primary sex organs developed in a way that make them truly ambiguous, are vanishingly rare. And in that case it would be acceptable for them to identify as whatever sex they feel is the closest. My problem is not that I'm never willing to be generous and charitable with p…

I don't understand the focus on someone, in your view, lying to you - I suspect we agree that in the scenario you described, it seeming that the person has lied to you about what's in their pants is much less important than the fact that they whipped it out in front of your family. It wouldn't be any better if a man who identified as such snuck into the changing room and did the same thing. I think focusing on criminal behavior is similarly focusing on an edge case, given that the vast majority of trans people, and people in general, are not criminals who expose themselves to children.

What about this more likely scenario: If this co-worker never did such a thing, they were a perfectly pleasant and normal person to work with, and you only found out they were trans after you or they had left the company and you no longer worked together, would you still be angry they had lied to you - why or why not? Would whether they'd ever gone into a changing room in your presence affect that anger?

What if this person was someone like the photo I used in the other thread, and they looked something like this: https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRO1Vem... - the next time you saw them, would you start referring to them as "she" and call them a liar?

I don't fundamentally agree that dressing, acting, or wanting to be referred to a certain way equates to lying to someone about what's in their pants. Even if it did, I also just don't fundamentally understand why it matters if someone does lie to you about that, in average everyday situations.

I can understand that there are circumstances where it does matter. I'm not saying it couldn't ever. But I don't understand why the default position is rejection and anger.

> The entire point of language is to "cut reality at the joints", we create words in order to group natural kinds together in a way that allow for common understanding and decision-making. If society wants to redefine "woman" as meaning something else, we would still want a word to mean "adult human female" because it is a natural kind. When we redefine woman, we see all the contortions people go . All of science, all of human knowledge relies on being better and better at organizing and recognizing and create common language around finding patterns in nature.

That seems like a solvable problem to me. Our initial attempts at solving it have been awkward, but we'll get there. I think I'm more concerned about what path society agrees on going forward than the specifics of how we do it, for now.

> Destroying these distinctions and saying, "it's all what a person wants to be" is completely novel in history

This also is not true. There are numerous well-documented cases of trans people throughout history, and there are long-standing concepts of "third genders" and others dating back thousands of years (see e. g. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_gender#Old_World).

Re: I Met Paul Graham Once

#712

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What does "such" mean here? How should I treat someone with body dysmorphia who believes they are 130 kg when they're closer to 50? Should I agree with them and affirm them as fat as they believe they are? Or should I - if it's my place - implore them to go to talking therapy and refuse to be drawn into their self-hating fantasy?

I’ll say three things: 1) Someone’s body dysmorphia is not - generally - affirmed or denied by ordinary everyday passing social interactions. In polite society, you simply don’t comment on someone’s body composition. Gender is an entirely different matter as it is a constant differentiator in day to day life. Also, in my experience, body dysmorphia has nothing to do with other people’s affirmations. We’ve all seen ex…

Psychotherapy is simply not effective at changing someone’s gender identity or ameliorating gender dysphoria. The established treatment for gender dysphoria is to align the person’s gender identity and gender expression.

Can you find a randomized controlled study where the "affirmative" approach of aligning gender expression with identity has been compared to a "reparative" approach of aligning identity with biology? I have read a lot of studies on this and what you are saying simply is not backed by the evidence. Whenever I read a study that has been referenced on NPR or such, I read the details and the details do not support what the people citing the study say it supports.

In all other cases, if someone's mental conception of themselves was not aligned with the biological reality of their self, we would say the default is that the person should try to adjust their mental conception. A treatment that involved all of society changing, or even more extreme -- actual removal of body parts -- would need to pass a very high burden of experimental evidence. From what I have read, that burden of proof has not ever been close to being met. There are no studies that say that aligning gender expression works better than helping the person cope with or get over their dysphoria. If I have missed such a study, I would like to read it.

Do you feel that your gender identity could be changed using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy?

I do not have a gender identity and I do not have a gender. I a sex and I have an identity as a sexed being. I have a brain that has developed under the influence of testosterone, I have the knowledge of having a penis, I have the knowledge that society sees me as a male and penis-haver and all that entails. I have the knowledge that if I used a woman's locker room and exposed my penis, women would freak out, and so I do not do that. Etc. etc. I wear the clothes that I do because that is what society expects of me. There are all sorts of clothes and outfits from other cultures that I prefer aesthetically but I don't wear because they do not align with the norms of my current culture.

It's actually really difficult for me to understand how a person's fundamental well-being is intrinsically and immalleably tied to names and clothing.

Of all the possible forms of clothing humans have worn in the last ten-thousand years, only a tiny sliver of those clothing are socially acceptable for me to wear. And yet we all deal with that.

If someone were to intentionally call me the wrong name, while everyone else gets called the name they have asked to be called, that would bother me, but only because that is a power move that singles me out. If I were to, say, join a fraternity, where everyone had to have a name assigned to them, that would not bother me, and I would be fine being called that name while hanging out in the fraternity.

If someone were to call me a "woman" I would be upset because it is the reality of my biology that I am a man. Furthermore, saying you are a "woman" is usually saying, "You lack the positive qualities we usually associate with being a man -- you are weak, you are cowardly, you are whiny, etc."

Re: I Met Paul Graham Once

#713
post #651
post #505

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Do you ask everyone you work with for a birth certificate so you can ensure you're referring to them using the terms you consider appropriate?

Yes absolutely, and I take a blood sample from each of them for karyotype testing while doing a thorough inspection of their genitals. Any more daft questions?

You know we're people right?

Sorry to interrupt your slapfight about me, but you do know transgender people are... people... right?

Like we're not just abstract things for you to argue about on the internet. I have blood. And feelings. And goals. And dreams.

It's so bizarre to see people talk about people like me like this, like you've never actually interacted with one of us.

Like we're some kind of philosophical concept or something.

It's weird.

I don't expect compassion or self-reflection out of a green name on the orange site, but I felt the need to say this for some reason.

Have a nice rest of your argument.

Re: I Met Paul Graham Once

#714
post #138

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> pliability of youth Not entirely dissimilar to the exploitation of eg college athletes.

The federation judged that even a college athlete who gets a major concussion cannot be offered a bottle of water for free, “because it could be assimilated to a wage”. No, really, college athletes are worse than unpaid.

Absolutely. I made my choice, and it was startups > athletics.

Re: I Met Paul Graham Once

#715
post #664

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> B) ineffective at changing any Bud drinker's mind on trans people, because it prioritises aggressive performance (making it woke) Really? Like seriously, this is your argument? I just watched the commercial and it was the most bland safe commercial possible.

The act of taking a beer with a strong existing brand that's popular among a mixed demographic that skews slightly Republican, and then marketing it with a "bland safe commercial" that intentionally uses a transwoman as the ambassador for said brand, is pure wishful thinking. Okay, yes, you and I agree that we're not offended by the ad and it's not going to change our beer-drinking habits. We are not the only people…

The promotion was not activism!

Jim Beam did an an actual ad campaign with Ru Paul's Drag Race at the same time. Travis Tritt (who supported the Bud Light boycott) tried to get people to go after them, too. It went nowhere, as had most attempts to protest LGBT marketing. Even Bud Light had done much more overt pro-LGBT campaigns before. The difference was that Ben Shapiro had Mulvaney in the crosshairs and A-B fumbled the response.

Again, the question isn't whether the ad campaign was good, but what it says about Graham's definition of "woke".

Re: I Met Paul Graham Once

#716
post #654

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What about neopronouns? Can someone just make up a new set of words like zi / zim / zis and expect you to remember them whenever talking to or about that person?

What have you done so far in cases where a coworker has asked you to refer to them only using a neopronoun?

As others have suggested I just avoid pronouns. This seems to be a common approach.

Re: I Met Paul Graham Once

#717

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>The whole "war on hate" thing was a bad idea; you can't forbid hatred You can't forbid it but you can absolutely make it socially unacceptable. "Free speech" doesn't mean letting people spew hate and doing nothing; choosing not to hand them a megaphone, support their business, etc. is entirely valid.

There is a danger to hating something so much, that it goes underground. A major reason why President Trump won the first time around was because hatred against Trump and his supporters was so strong, that many people being polled were afraid to tell the pollsters who they were really voting for, for fear of being destroyed. This is a major reason why Trump outperformed his polling. In the meantime, when people are l…

I intended to include something that I now see I forgot: this phenomenon is called a "preference cascade", and it's a big reason why we see dramatic shifts in power in oppressive regimes.

Re: I Met Paul Graham Once

#718

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Almost any? Counterfactual human suffering if they didn't exist, number of lives saved, GDP, mean happiness, mean of bottom 5% happiness, etc

You attribute all of that exclusively to a small group of tech ceos? That's completely absurd, but let's see the data on that.

This is a list of proposed metrics, not things attributed

Re: I Met Paul Graham Once

#719

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The vast majority of people with some kind of intersex disorder are still very clearly either male or female. Hermaphrodites, that is, people whose primary sex organs developed in a way that make them truly ambiguous, are vanishingly rare. And in that case it would be acceptable for them to identify as whatever sex they feel is the closest. My problem is not that I'm never willing to be generous and charitable with p…

I don't understand the focus on someone, in your view, lying to you - I suspect we agree that in the scenario you described, it seeming that the person has lied to you about what's in their pants is much less important than the fact that they whipped it out in front of your family. It wouldn't be any better if a man who identified as such snuck into the changing room and did the same thing. I think focusing on crimin…

I don't understand the focus on someone, in your view, lying to you - I suspect we agree that in the scenario you described, it seeming that the person has lied to you about what's in their pants is much less important than the fact that they whipped it out in front of your family. It wouldn't be any better if a man who identified as such snuck into the changing room and did the same thing. I think focusing on criminal behavior is similarly focusing on an edge case

No, under transgender ideology -- "transwomen are women" -- the MtF trans-woman being naked, penis-and-all in a locker room is not a crime. In fact, states that have fully adopted this ideology have made it illegal to expel that trans-woman from the locker room. It is this ideology that I reject. See for instance: https://reduxx.info/korean-womens-spa-forced-to-erase-biolog... https://www.courthousenews.com/after-banning-trans-women-was...

What about this more likely scenario: If this co-worker never did such a thing, they were a perfectly pleasant and normal person to work with, and you only found out they were trans after you or they had left the company and you no longer worked together, would you still be angry they had lied to you - why or why not? Would whether they'd ever gone into a changing room in your presence affect that anger?

Imagine I had a co-worker "Mike" who said they were married, told stories about stuff their wife does around the house, etc. I sometimes asked them about their wife, I told other people, "Oh, Mike, yeah, he's married." Then after he leaves I find out beyond a reasonable a doubt that he was not married, he had been living alone the entire time, etc.

I wouldn't exactly be angry with Mike, I may even have some pity for him, but I would be wary of him going forward. If I met him, I would be polite, and I would neither affirm anything he said about his wife nor would I make a stink about it, and I would try to limit my interactions because I simply could not understand his mind. Was he lying? Delusional? A story-teller? I don't know but it's not really worth it to me to find out.

So it would be the same with the trans person I meet later on. I would simply not use the person's pronouns, I would be polite and neither affirm nor deny their status. I would be wary and limit my interactions because I would, charitably speaking, lack of a theory of that person's mind, and it would simply not be worth by time, energy, and risk for me to try to navigate the situation without getting myself in trouble.

This also is not true. There are numerous well-documented cases of trans people throughout history, and there are long-standing concepts of "third genders" and others dating back thousands of years (see e. g. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_gender#Old_World).

There is a big difference between a third gender and a man saying, "I'm a woman because I say so" or "transwomen are women." Eunuchs, eg, were not women, and were not considered to be so. If we want to say that cross-dressing men are a "third gender" that is more acceptable to me than saying they are women and entitled to all the rights and privileges of women and you are fired or cancelled if you say otherwise.

I also should have qualified, as saying "novel in the history of successful societies." Societies in their late stages of decadence and decline have done all sorts of crazy things. Emperor Elagabalus was perhaps "trans" but that was always considered as crazy and bad behavior.

Re: I Met Paul Graham Once

#720

Earlier quoted context omitted.

And polio is largely cured from this generation, and vaccines now exist that prevent diseases that once killed infants, and we have cheap and fast internet everywhere, ... This generation of "robber barons" has very clearly done more good for society than any other group of people of the same size, and I can't imagine how anybody who works in tech can not know of the specific good things they have done or be so confu…

WHAT??? Jonas Salk GAVE the IP for the Polio Vaccine TO THE WORLD FOR FREE! how dare you say that Billionaires gave us these things. you are telling lies.

Bill Gates also gave billions of dollars to the world for free, it's just a question of which one is more praiseworthy. I could be convinced Gates was not more impactful than Salk, but he's definitely in the running for top 100 best overall human beings in terms of positive impact on the world, in stark contrast to the claim that tech billionaire have contributed nothing
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