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The relationship recession is going global

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Re: The relationship recession is going global

#61

Post by miohtama »

poincaredisk wrote: post #42
miohtama wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Career and grinding is not a goal, but is needed to afford an house and money to help your parents. Apartment prices relative to income have gone greatly up. Thus, more grinding needed and some low wage occupations are priced out from the market altogether. The question is why apartment prices keep going up and can we stop it.

>Career and grinding is not a goal, but is needed to afford an house and money to help your parents. It is for me. I have way more than I need to survive or help the people I love. But I want to progress my career and personal brand. I assume that's also true for many tech-millionaires who attends this site.

Yes, the goal is for me. But most people are usually family-oriented, and have been in the past.

Re: The relationship recession is going global

#62

Post by rocmcd »

bradlys wrote: post #56

I think this is the new norm and it will only get worse. Social media isn’t going anywhere and the amount of interconnectedness we have is also not going anywhere. Everyone will be in an environment where any social trend will spread like wildfire and you’ll have to deal with it. I don’t think there’s much we can do. More likely to see full blown communism than some improvement to the way we’re dating now. I’ve been…

> Social media and dating apps has made physical attraction more paramount than ever but I can’t do shit about it.

Maybe don't look for relationships on social media and dating apps? There's a whole world out there that you won't be able to access through a screen, but you have to go out and find it. It will not come to you.

And I don't know you, but I can almost universally promise that surgery will not change the outcome. Are you physically fit? Do you smile and laugh when around other people? Do you hold yourself in high esteem? Get the basics right and the rest will follow.

Re: The relationship recession is going global

#63

Post by disambiguation »

binarymax wrote: post #21

It’s truly bizarre. I’m married and have a strong social life, but then I see things like this in my local subreddit where men just don’t want to go out and meet women. https://old.reddit.com/r/Rochester/comments/1hyh1r2/where_ar... I can’t believe that the thread exists. I can’t believe that a young single straight man wouldn’t be all over that event. Some good speculation on cause behind it in OP and this discussio…

One interpretation, reddit is full of introverts and mixers / speed dating are very extroverted events.

Re: The relationship recession is going global

#65

Post by missedthecue »

deanmoriarty wrote: post #60
bradlys wrote: post #56

I think this is the new norm and it will only get worse. Social media isn’t going anywhere and the amount of interconnectedness we have is also not going anywhere. Everyone will be in an environment where any social trend will spread like wildfire and you’ll have to deal with it. I don’t think there’s much we can do. More likely to see full blown communism than some improvement to the way we’re dating now. I’ve been…

> My main issue is that I can’t find women who find me physically attractive My main issue is that I can't find someone willing to sell me $VTI at $100/share. Is it possible that your standards of what you consider a woman "attractive enough to date" are too high, and so you are filtering out potential candidates that would be happy to be with you? Four years seems like a really long time for someone actively looking…

There really isn't a good solution here. Lowering your standards to date someone you don't find attractive just so you get into a relationship isn't healthy for you and it's not fair to your partner.

I would consider it a deal breaker if I found out my partner didn't think I was attractive.

Re: The relationship recession is going global

#67

Post by willhslade »

Schiendelman wrote: post #32
bryanlarsen wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Apartment rental prices have dropped for the last three months in a row in Canada.

Why?

Not OP but in a nutshell, everybody who could bought an condo downtown (Toronto + Vancouver especially but this is broadly true of the country) with a home equity loan from their main property as an investment, and the loan math only works if all properties are increasing in value and the interest rate stays very close to zero. Neither are true and unless something happens Canada could have our very own 2008 financial crisis. No biggie.

Re: The relationship recession is going global

#68

Post by orwin »

bradlys wrote: post #57
chneu wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Dating is pretty hostile nowadays. There are a lot of pretty crazy expectations. Coupled with a low tolerance for not meeting those expectations. The apps have created, for many people, a "grass is always greener on the next swipe" mentality. People who might be good partners are passed over because one or two things don't meet or exceed expectations. Meeting in real life is better but it's still a lot of work. There…

I’ll say that men in general suck in the same way that women in general suck. Both suck. Being jaded and thinking only shit men exist is a very bad mentality. The women I know who didn’t stay jaded and pursued men who were reasonable and showed real interest back have been rewarded immensely. I’m in nyc right now and I see so many women hating every man because these gals only deal with men who refuse to settle down…

Right now, the biggest issue my sister have is how pushy men are with her, not 'commitment'. In general for the millenials, committed relationships are seeked by men more than women.

My SO confirmed me that me not being a 'forceur' (pushy man) during our first date and showing interest in what she does was probably the biggest two reasons she proposed me the second one.

Re: The relationship recession is going global

#69

Post by bradlys »

orwin wrote: post #68
bradlys wrote: post #57

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’ll say that men in general suck in the same way that women in general suck. Both suck. Being jaded and thinking only shit men exist is a very bad mentality. The women I know who didn’t stay jaded and pursued men who were reasonable and showed real interest back have been rewarded immensely. I’m in nyc right now and I see so many women hating every man because these gals only deal with men who refuse to settle down…

Right now, the biggest issue my sister have is how pushy men are with her, not 'commitment'. In general for the millenials, committed relationships are seeked by men more than women. My SO confirmed me that me not being a 'forceur' (pushy man) during our first date and showing interest in what she does was probably the biggest two reasons she proposed me the second one.

> Right now, the biggest issue my sister have is how pushy men are with her, not 'commitment'.

I think it's a bit of both. I don't think a lot of women would care about the pushiness if it was with high commitment. It's a lack of commitment and pushiness that is what is uninteresting.

I'm not finding any lack of women who love to completely go nuts on the escalation ladder of a relationship if a guy is high commitment.

Re: The relationship recession is going global

#70

Post by bradlys »

missedthecue wrote: post #65
deanmoriarty wrote: post #60

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> My main issue is that I can’t find women who find me physically attractive My main issue is that I can't find someone willing to sell me $VTI at $100/share. Is it possible that your standards of what you consider a woman "attractive enough to date" are too high, and so you are filtering out potential candidates that would be happy to be with you? Four years seems like a really long time for someone actively looking…

There really isn't a good solution here. Lowering your standards to date someone you don't find attractive just so you get into a relationship isn't healthy for you and it's not fair to your partner. I would consider it a deal breaker if I found out my partner didn't think I was attractive.

> I would consider it a deal breaker if I found out my partner didn't think I was attractive.

Most women really feel this too. For better or worse, most women feel their self-worth is tied to their looks. If you told her that you didn't find her physically attractive (but still loved her and so on), you'd be broken up with by the overwhelming majority of women. I don't know if I've ever met a single woman who has ever said different. I'm sure they exist but may as well be a rounding error.

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