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The relationship recession is going global

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Re: The relationship recession is going global

#41

Post by chneu »

binarymax wrote: post #21

It’s truly bizarre. I’m married and have a strong social life, but then I see things like this in my local subreddit where men just don’t want to go out and meet women. https://old.reddit.com/r/Rochester/comments/1hyh1r2/where_ar... I can’t believe that the thread exists. I can’t believe that a young single straight man wouldn’t be all over that event. Some good speculation on cause behind it in OP and this discussio…

Dating is pretty hostile nowadays. There are a lot of pretty crazy expectations. Coupled with a low tolerance for not meeting those expectations.

The apps have created, for many people, a "grass is always greener on the next swipe" mentality. People who might be good partners are passed over because one or two things don't meet or exceed expectations.

Meeting in real life is better but it's still a lot of work. There really don't seem to be as many social scenes as there used to be. Especially as people get older, over the age of 30, the social scenes feature fewer and fewer single people.

As a cis white guy, it's very easy to get burnt out. Between ghosting and the "slow burn" mentality it just gets exhausting.

I'll also say that most men are pretty shitty. I have a lot of single female friends and we talk about this a lot. Men really do kind of just suck. I didn't used to believe it but they send me screenshots and it's pretty bad.

In general, people just have less social skills and lower tolerance for this stuff nowadays. Being single isn't as stigmatized as it used to be.

Re: The relationship recession is going global

#42

Post by poincaredisk »

miohtama wrote: post #9
glimshe wrote: post #8

We were sold a model where having a career is the most important thing in life, at the expense of family and relationships. Because of that, the world gets richer but unhappier. Additionally, local human contact has been replaced by a world of upvotes by strangers with quirky online names. We need to work on figuring out how we can get the undeniable benefits of modern technologies without forgetting our biological n…

Career and grinding is not a goal, but is needed to afford an house and money to help your parents. Apartment prices relative to income have gone greatly up. Thus, more grinding needed and some low wage occupations are priced out from the market altogether. The question is why apartment prices keep going up and can we stop it.

>Career and grinding is not a goal, but is needed to afford an house and money to help your parents.

It is for me. I have way more than I need to survive or help the people I love. But I want to progress my career and personal brand. I assume that's also true for many tech-millionaires who attends this site.

Re: The relationship recession is going global

#43

Post by Muromec »

Gvaskas wrote: post #30
binarymax wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

And that’s the confusing thing to me. When I was in my 20s I spent most of my time outside of work being social. I worked 10-12 hour days. What are the things you’re doing that are a priority? I’m not judging - I’m honestly curious and want to understand.

A very common sentiment among young men is that "the juice ain't worth the squeeze". There is a sense that the average man is being expected to meet increasingly demanding requirements - career, social, fitness, etc (some of which are literally impossible for many due to height, balding, or facial attractiveness) - for a shot at an overweight woman past her prime with dozens of flings and a couple abortions in her pa…

>and watch the world burn.

You will not be watching zo. You will be one the one burning with it too and it will be even less fun than the slight frustrations of today.

Re: The relationship recession is going global

#44

Post by poincaredisk »

binarymax wrote: post #21

It’s truly bizarre. I’m married and have a strong social life, but then I see things like this in my local subreddit where men just don’t want to go out and meet women. https://old.reddit.com/r/Rochester/comments/1hyh1r2/where_ar... I can’t believe that the thread exists. I can’t believe that a young single straight man wouldn’t be all over that event. Some good speculation on cause behind it in OP and this discussio…

>I can’t believe that a young single straight man wouldn’t be all over that event

I'm not young (neither I'm old - a bit over 30) anymore, but I would never go to such event when I was single. Dating events feel like stress, a lot of expectations to meet, and ultimately there's nothing I have in common with those people (or so I think). I always preferred dating in my social, work and hobby circles. I don't know if that's common, but anecdotally my friends feel and do the same.

Re: The relationship recession is going global

#45

Post by ted_bunny »

SebFender wrote: post #39
glimshe wrote: post #8

We were sold a model where having a career is the most important thing in life, at the expense of family and relationships. Because of that, the world gets richer but unhappier. Additionally, local human contact has been replaced by a world of upvotes by strangers with quirky online names. We need to work on figuring out how we can get the undeniable benefits of modern technologies without forgetting our biological n…

I've been raised in an environment where we talked with neighbours and so on - Now 50 after moving a few times - I feel many times people look at me weird when I say things like "Hi, Hey what's this dog breed", "Did you just move in?" or "If you need anything I'm in the house over there"... I'm not looking to build a relationship with everyone, but basic social skills are in some kind of drought.

It's incredible! Even people your age and older are doing it! Blank stares.

I'm going full Flanders. I'm gonna get a howdly doodly out of these freaks!

Re: The relationship recession is going global

#46

Post by Dalewyn »

potato3732842 wrote: post #38
portaouflop wrote: post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What is your point in relation to the article? How would gender self-segregation be related to __rising__ rates of singledom?

I think the point he was getting at but failed to come around to was that men and women are different enough they don't actually want to spend time together all that much and historically just put up with it because of social pressure to get on the life path to raising a family and lack of access to casual sex. Sure, there's some mutual interests there that'll get them hanging out together but it's pretty minor overa…

>historically just put up with it because of social pressure to get on the life path to raising a family and lack of access to casual sex.

For women it was also a fundamental question of literally living. Back when women were expected to be full-time housewives, women had to marry to quite literally not starve to death on the streets.

The advancement of gender equality to bring men and women, all mankind, to the same level of freedom and authority has undoubtedly played a significant role in the decline of romance and marriage.

Re: The relationship recession is going global

#48

Post by bryanlarsen »

fakedang wrote: post #34
bryanlarsen wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Apartment rental prices have dropped for the last three months in a row in Canada.

I've read that it's only a specific time of apartment, one that's not conducive to raising families.

Just like the US, 3+ bedroom apartments are very uncommon in Canada. So their prices aren't going to have much impact on the average.

But there are lots of people with one or two kids in a 2br.

Re: The relationship recession is going global

#49

Post by AnimalMuppet »

throw00603 wrote: post #37
bdangubic wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have several friends that would write EXACTLY what you wrote and there is absolutely nothing wrong with your way of life. termination of the bloodline is a silly thing - however I can tell you from personal experience that having an offspring connects to humanity like nothing else and I feel for you that you won’t experience that part of human existence. it is a remarkable experience…

> I feel for you that you won’t experience that part of human existence Certainly it's something my depression holds over my head every day. Everything I do is less fun when I consciously realize I'm removing my ancestors from the gene pool in participating in those things. It's like I can choose to put more value in other things besides offspring, but also... I can't? When it seems like every stranger around me is m…

Interesting. Women used to feel this pressure, wanting success and a career, but also wanting family and children. They looked at men with envy, thinking that men did get to have it all. But men are feeling that same tension.

I think it basically comes down to being finite. We want more than we can get. We have to choose, and we don't want to, because choosing means giving up something that we really want.

I suspect that your depression doesn't make it easier. But the overall struggle is a very common one.

Re: The relationship recession is going global

#50

Post by satisfice »

glimshe wrote: post #8

We were sold a model where having a career is the most important thing in life, at the expense of family and relationships. Because of that, the world gets richer but unhappier. Additionally, local human contact has been replaced by a world of upvotes by strangers with quirky online names. We need to work on figuring out how we can get the undeniable benefits of modern technologies without forgetting our biological n…

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