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I never attend funerals, and I rarely attend weddings. I skipped my father’s funeral. It simply doesn’t matter if you go or not.
It’s also a matter of regret minimization. 9+ times out of 10 when I’m on the fence about going to a major life event and go, I’m glad I did. Can’t think of the last thing I regretted going to. I’ve certainly missed some like graduations I regret not making it to. Funerals are towards the top of the list of big life events and I’ve never regretted one.
It’s also a matter of regret minimization. 9+ times out of 10 when I’m on the fence about going to a major life event and go, I’m glad I did. Can’t think of the last thing I regretted going to. I’ve certainly missed some like graduations I regret not making it to. Funerals are towards the top of the list of big life events and I’ve never regretted one.
Same with social events. All my life, I always get this last second resistance to going, yet I'm always glad I went. The reasons my brain comes up with for why I shouldn't go are just lies. Just go. And take what you can get while the opportunities are still coming.
Big life events are always worth a visit if you get invited, and you always learn something from the mix of people who attend. Whether it's a funeral, wedding, baptism, and so on. Does this person have friends from childhood? Do his friends come from the same place, or all sorts of places? Do they know each other, or does he have a lot of singletons there? Who considers themselves close family? Second cousins? Or did…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
>> By the time I was 16, I had been to five or six funerals. > Is it just me or does this actually seem kind of low? Not for someone who's young and mostly disconnected from their grandparents' generation. In my case, my family lived far away from pretty much all my relatives, which meant I'm not very close to any of them and going to a funeral meant lots of short-notice plane tickets. I think I've only gone to two f…
Even if I was close to my grandparents' generation, I only have four of them and that number doesn't increase over time. I don't think I know 16 * 2 = 32 people of my grandparents' generation, especially not now, way past my teenage years.
The scenario I was thinking of to get to more than "five or six" funerals by age 16, was to have "always go to the funeral" parents who took you to the funerals of grandparents and great aunts/uncles living nearby.
As somebody whose dad died last night, this one hits hard.
Personal opinion: I find funerals to be a waste of time and money. Especially, coming from a culture where they are a big event. People spend enormous money on funerals —- money that they wouldn’t help you with while you are alive and struggling. Maybe attending one in a less flamboyant culture will change my mind. But I wish more people in general don’t wait for terminal events to do or say nice things.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
> I've attended the funerals of my enemies just to pay my respects for the rivalry that we had. What? You have enemies ? Like the Joker and Batman or Lex Luthor and Superman? Honestly, to me, that word describes a kind of relation that mainly exists in comic books and between nation states.
I have a few folks who I felt wronged me significantly in my life's travels, and they take a bit of rent-free space in my head every once in awhile. I don't actively search for their obits or anything, but if I learned about a funeral, I'd make the time to visit, stand quietly, and reflect. Probably not the healthiest thing, but not my unhealthiest quality either. At the moment it is only theoretical. But I can think…
Do you have grudge against those people, such that put effort into trying to undermine or defeat them? I feel the word "enemy" has connotations of a kind of direct, sustained opposition that just seems like it'd be really unusual (and unhealthy) in real life.
Personal opinion: I find funerals to be a waste of time and money. Especially, coming from a culture where they are a big event. People spend enormous money on funerals —- money that they wouldn’t help you with while you are alive and struggling. Maybe attending one in a less flamboyant culture will change my mind. But I wish more people in general don’t wait for terminal events to do or say nice things.