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Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

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Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#331

Post by space_oddity »

burningChrome wrote: post #38

Early on in my career (I was a late bloomer and already in early 30's) as a developer, I got burnt out pretty bad twice. After the second time and teetering on a third, I knew I had to do something to change what I was doing and how I managed my work load. I just focused on getting MY stuff done and that was it. I stopped taking on other's people work. I stopped taking on more work once I got my stuff done. I would d…

We all need to understand the importance of setting healthier boundaries in a work feald. That shift made a big difference for you

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#332

Post by space_oddity »

antimemetics wrote: post #189
jaredhallen wrote: post #135

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You've said it twice, and I'll reiterate it a third time. Your own well being has to come first. You can't deliver on the rest of your commitments if you neglect your own needs. Being a martyr does not serve those who depend on you.

If you can’t love yourself how are you going to love someone else?

People are capable of giving and receiving love, even while struggling with self-love. In fact, relationships can often be a source of healing

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#333

Post by space_oddity »

parpfish wrote: post #40
burningChrome wrote: post #38

Early on in my career (I was a late bloomer and already in early 30's) as a developer, I got burnt out pretty bad twice. After the second time and teetering on a third, I knew I had to do something to change what I was doing and how I managed my work load. I just focused on getting MY stuff done and that was it. I stopped taking on other's people work. I stopped taking on more work once I got my stuff done. I would d…

It’s worth pointing out that the people you need to protect yourself from aren’t necessarily doing anything malicious — they just don’t know your limits and will keep feeding you work as long as you keep saying yes. It was a revelation for me when I realized I could tell people “no, I’m swamped right now” and they’d be “ok, no problem”

The moment you start saying "no" or expressing your limits, it can be surprising how easily others respect it.

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#334

Post by space_oddity »

mverv wrote: post #141
burningChrome wrote: post #38

Early on in my career (I was a late bloomer and already in early 30's) as a developer, I got burnt out pretty bad twice. After the second time and teetering on a third, I knew I had to do something to change what I was doing and how I managed my work load. I just focused on getting MY stuff done and that was it. I stopped taking on other's people work. I stopped taking on more work once I got my stuff done. I would d…

Any words of encouragement to a 32 year old considering a career switch to software development? I have a CS undegrad and have been working in the industry, although in strategy roles and never as a developer.

It’s never too late to switch to software development, especially since you already have a strong foundation with your CS degree and industry experience.

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#335

Post by sandeep1998 »

djsamseng wrote: post #291
sandeep1998 wrote: post #157

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am trying to move to a country where this is a reality... I just need a life outside of work (and some quiet and peace and fewer people around me all the time) I want to be able to sit down in the park, stroll around the neighbourhood, ride cycle, swim, cook, etc without the worry of job looming over my head all the time. I want to live for myself.

Come to Siem Reap, Cambodia. Start your day with a sunrise walk to the gym ($40/month). Grab an omelette and coffee for $3. Head home by 9am before it gets too hot. Work/learn/read/nap in the AC until 5pm. Take a sunset bike ride through the temples of Angkor Wat. Grab dinner downtown at the open breeze restaurants while people watching ($2-3 for a healthy meat and vegetable stir fry, $1 for pancakes, $2 for fried ri…

email? I am (sandeeptech8@gmail.com)

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#336

Post by sandeep1998 »

pnut wrote: post #212
sandeep1998 wrote: post #157

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am trying to move to a country where this is a reality... I just need a life outside of work (and some quiet and peace and fewer people around me all the time) I want to be able to sit down in the park, stroll around the neighbourhood, ride cycle, swim, cook, etc without the worry of job looming over my head all the time. I want to live for myself.

I say this as a person who emigrated away from the US in my late 30's... The hedonic treadmill exists in all countries, stepping off it is a personal priority and discipline regardless of where you live.

Fair point. I'm not chasing happiness, but rather seeking a lifestyle that is more in line with my personal preferences and values, such as quiet/peace, fewer people, and cooler weather. On days when I get to experience these, I feel very content with my life and more in control of it, All the other problems don't bother me much when these basics are right...

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#337

Post by sandeep1998 »

I just got fired from my new job because of performance reasons. I was not good enough. Even though I cleared the interview well enough, For some reason I am simply unable to care about the job.

I am not able to bring myself to care about the tasks assigned to me, not able to care about them. I just want to do my time and leave. The commute to and from office in the peak Mumbai traffic wears me off like an old man, I just don't see the point in toiling to hard just to do a simple job. How pointless. I am feeling relieved after hearing about my termination news, no toiling in loud, noisy, crowded and sweaty traffic, no perpetual lagging behind the deadline, no pressure.

I simply fail to bring myself to care about my employer's problem as sincerely as they want me to and like the other employees do. Its just not that important enough for me and I can't pretend that it is, I would rather go for an ice cream after office with a friend than work on some feature that those business people are so excited about...

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#338

Post by changexd »

gnulinux wrote: post #233
changexd wrote: post #171

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well in this case my friend, perhaps sometimes it's okay to go back home? I have lots of friends doing this to them, they are burned out both physically and mentally, people usually have options if they can step back a bit, do you really want to sacrifice your happiness for working abroad and become "successful"? Only you can drag yourself out as you've mentioned your therapist's solutions do not work for you, it's o…

It's not possible to do so due to having my entire life here and nothing "back home" where I haven't even visited last 15 years. I have my fiancée, my cat, my house, my career here and there I have nothing. Would you leave your future wife, mom of your future kids, and go to the other end of the world to a country you last visited when you were a kid?

In such case, I'll talk to my fiance about the situation to see if there's any thing we can do, if this person really loves you and support you, I'm sure you'll figure things out, you want a person that wish you happy, or else things will prolly only get worse even after marriage and kids, worst case, you'll trade your years happiness in a burned out state for this "future" you rely on.

One thing I realized recently is "don't put yourself in a bad state just because you have EXPECTATIONS for future", because if the future is not what you expect, you'll find yourself regretting every bit of your action, and to keep this expected future alive, you'll push yourself too hard.

I really wish you the best.

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#339

Post by zxexz »

rpastuszak wrote: post #215
zxexz wrote: post #161

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not arguing that Christianity and other religions aren't misogynistic - I mean, seriously, there is a borderline unfathomable amount of serious misogynistic baggage there. However, on the point of last names, I feel the urge to point out that I personally know several , very devout and traditional, catholic couples who kept their last names in wedlock.

We have records of patronymics as old as the writing itself. It's hard / impossible / pointless to decouple religion from culture though. On a slightly different note: Hammurabi's name means literally "his uncle is a healer" (related to Arabic عم (ʕamm) meaning paternal uncle, and the latter part to rabbi). I my mind there's a mildly funny* movie where Hammurabi, the person who created/codified the foundations of our…

You raise a good point (and I'd enjoy the hell out of that movie!). Whilst I still stand by my point, I agree it's more of an anecdote and effectively meaningless in the context I presented it.

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#340

Post by sandeep1998 »

al_borland wrote: post #46
noobermin wrote: post #30

I've been burned out for two years after moving to a new country to work in one of the worst post-docs of my life. But, I've found I have no one to rely on but myself because employers don't care that you're burned out, they want to keep up their kpis. Sometimes you have to work even if you're already unhealthy. By the way, this isn't a "when the going gets tough" sort-of post, I'm just stating the reality of life.

My company sends out blasts to everyone that tells us to take care of our mental health and stuff like that, but it’s all a show. Our actually managers drive us into the ground and any sign of weakness are met with a kick while the person is down. Everyone I work with is burned out and miserable, but too scared to say anything about it or take the time they need. Hearing grown men break down and cry on calls isn’t fu…

Where are you from? which city or country?
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