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Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

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Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#291

Post by djsamseng »

sandeep1998 wrote: post #157
livearchivist wrote: post #103

Earlier quoted context omitted.

100% This is so important. I have a 3yo and wife, I currently work for a series-A startup - It's incredibly easy to do things out of hours, answer messages, train, lab things up, etc... But at the end of the day that is a part of my career. So except for when I'm traveling for work, I don't do a GD thing past 5pm, unless i choose to. When I choose to, it's likely because a lot of my team is in IST time zone rather th…

I am trying to move to a country where this is a reality... I just need a life outside of work (and some quiet and peace and fewer people around me all the time) I want to be able to sit down in the park, stroll around the neighbourhood, ride cycle, swim, cook, etc without the worry of job looming over my head all the time. I want to live for myself.

Come to Siem Reap, Cambodia. Start your day with a sunrise walk to the gym ($40/month). Grab an omelette and coffee for $3. Head home by 9am before it gets too hot. Work/learn/read/nap in the AC until 5pm. Take a sunset bike ride through the temples of Angkor Wat. Grab dinner downtown at the open breeze restaurants while people watching ($2-3 for a healthy meat and vegetable stir fry, $1 for pancakes, $2 for fried rice). Grab some drinks ($1) and play billiards with some friends. Head home to your modest 1 bedroom apartment for the night ($300/month). Not to mention the locals are really friendly here and if you’re in to helping out in some of your free time, you will be greatly valued and appreciated!

There’s a few other expenses and some cons of living here but some research and YouTube videos will help you figure out if it’s right for you. And of course you can ask me :)

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#292

Post by Neikius »

gnulinux wrote: post #233
changexd wrote: post #171

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well in this case my friend, perhaps sometimes it's okay to go back home? I have lots of friends doing this to them, they are burned out both physically and mentally, people usually have options if they can step back a bit, do you really want to sacrifice your happiness for working abroad and become "successful"? Only you can drag yourself out as you've mentioned your therapist's solutions do not work for you, it's o…

It's not possible to do so due to having my entire life here and nothing "back home" where I haven't even visited last 15 years. I have my fiancée, my cat, my house, my career here and there I have nothing. Would you leave your future wife, mom of your future kids, and go to the other end of the world to a country you last visited when you were a kid?

Maybe just get married and get that citizenship sorted eh? You are in a situation which obviously is exploited by your employers.

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#293

Post by andhuman »

andrei_says_ wrote: post #43
primitivesuave wrote: post #15

I burned out around 3 years ago and couldn't fix it with a year of traveling the world and working on side projects - thankfully I discovered Vipassana meditation which helped me bounce back stronger than ever. Hopefully someone else in a similar situation might find this potential solution useful.

What in Vipassana helped the most? Refocusing on the body? Focusing on equinimity? Recalibrating the mind once or twice a day? Something else?

Not OP, but for me what helped the most is the samadi / shamatha meditation where you go into this calm abiding mode. You are calm but alert with the whole body energized. This is a enjoyable state to be in, sometimes _very_ enjoyable. I listened to the guided meditations from the Alan Wallace retreat as well as a guided meditation retreat from Rob Burbea.

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#294

Post by zuzuleinen »

GoToRO wrote: post #223

You know when you are burned out and you seek advice from other people? Brain fog? exercise, magnesium and so on Can't sleep? drink milk Tired? Eat well, take vitamins I did all these and while it did help, it also felt like I was returning $1 on a $1 million debt. So the wort burnout I've got was due to some stomach bug. This prevented the normal absorption of food and soon enough I was running on fumes (while still…

How did you got tested for your stomach bug?

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#295

Post by concerndc1tizen »

RomanPushkin wrote: post #280
concerndc1tizen wrote: post #214

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've met several Americans who are into self-medicating like this. One guy was talking about his 500k USD salary at Facebook, so clearly successful, while obsessing about where to source drugs, so clearly struggling. Have you considered that there may be permanent changes to your brain, that you're not able to perceive, similar to the radical shift in personality we've observed in Elon Musk?

I've accepted and embraced all the permanent changes for one very simple reason: it's better to be alive than depressed and/or dead and/or being in vegetative state. Note that I was dealing with extreme circumstances - life and death on a daily basis. I had stress that was so intense that all of my teeth were in pain, every day two weeks straight. I am happy I was able to exchange it for the "permanent changes" that…

Very good points.

That they lace with fentanyl is really scary, but obviously financially lucrative, and on-brand with the mindset of the industry.

I'm sorry to hear about your stress. It's disappointing that we've never been wealthier and more productive, but that ruthless exploitation is still going strong.

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#296

Post by mindentropy »

>- After: can't learn, can't work, can't remember, can't see solutions for trivial problems (e.g. if your shirt is wet, you can change it, but I stare at it thinking when it is going to get dried up)

I am having similar symptoms. I have suffered a lot at work, family problems and it conflicting with personal interests and hobbies. I trudged on with sheer will earlier and had unbounded enthusiasm, passion and motivation. Now everything is kind of broken and I feel I am just floating. Days passing by is just a blur. I have become completely disillusioned with society and its intentions and world just seems ultra complicated. I am not sure whether it is burnout as I don't have information of it nor do I have met people who suffer from it. I am not sure whether it is my age, diet or something else. :-(

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#297

Post by JamesBarney »

nunez wrote: post #232
JamesBarney wrote: post #201

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Most of the research actually supports what op says. When you adjust for industry and such the vast majority of the remaining gap is due to motherhood. So much so that many researchers in the field call it the motherhood pay gap as opposed to the gender pay gap. Childless women make about the same as men (within 2-3%, some show higher, some lower). Now is the fact women take over the majority of the childcare and are…

> Now is the fact women take over the majority of the childcare and are more likely to take off to raise their children misogyny? Depends on your definition and perspective Yes, given that: - In conservative circles, there is a strong expectation that a woman's chief job is to be a mom, - Many businesses are lead by conservatives, and - Many states (at present) are run by conservatives and enact policy to make this s…

I also think leave for father's should be as long as leave for mothers so families can decide how they divy up the childcare in a way that works for them.

> Regardless, whether women want to enter motherhood or not should be irrelevant when determining employee compensation.

Whether a women wants to enter motherhood is irrelevant to her compensation. But how much time, effort, and experience she brings to the job is relevant to her compensation. And despite there being plenty of mothers who bring more of those things to their job than their childless counter parts, most people cannot bring as much time and energy to bare on work as they could if they were childless given how we currently divide up childcare. If you're on partner track at a lawyer, you're expected to bill 2000 hrs a year which means working 3000. It's very hard to continue to work 3000 hrs a year while raising a kid and the lack of billable hours will effect bonuses and promotions. How could it not?

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#298

Post by treszkai »

ants_everywhere wrote: post #48

In my opinion, everyone should try therapy at least once. Just like you have a primary care physician for your general health, a dentist for your teeth, it makes sense to have a medical professional to help you with your brain. I think of it as a best practice. Can you get by with out it? Sure. Will you be doing things optimally? Definitely not.

"Try therapy" is so overly vague that I expect it's nearly useless for a sizeable chunk of people (especially among HN readers).

I've tried therapy with five different therapists in the last seven years. Every time I came away feeling the same, wondering if I'm doing it wrong or if I missed an instruction in primary school.

Can I get by without it? Apparently yes. Am I doing things more optimally with one? Marginally, at best.

Re: Tell HN: Burnout is bad to your brain, take care

#299

Post by treszkai »

armini wrote: post #178

I can't tell you how many developers feel this way, there is no reason for this to be the norm. Be sure to seek professional help but if you'd like someone to talk to someone who can relate feel free to book a time https://calendly.com/thanks_dev/30min

Is this a calendly link to you?
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