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"Lighten up"

therealkatie.net

191–200 of 829 posts

Re: "Lighten up"

#191
post #169

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It used to be acceptable to use the N-word in the workplace. Casually. With seriousness. Things change. Fuck acceptance.

Acceptance is the only rational response when you lack sufficient power to effect change.

How do you know you lack sufficient power to effect change if you don't try?

Re: "Lighten up"

#192

I find posts like this extremely frustrating. Yes, I feel sorry for this woman. However, I also feel sorry for all male programmers. A lot of male programmers I've met have extremely pent-up sexual drives. A lot of them do not feel comfortable with women or society. The prototypical male programmer was extremely nerdy in adolescence, had minimal interaction with women, and sex life - forget it. Now they are working i…

What. Are you... are you serious? I hope to god there's a rational point that you're trying to make, you're just making it very, very badly because you're so angry at the "man hate."

Re: "Lighten up"

#193

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Start wearing sweaters, even though my breasts feel like they're boiling in there (yup, that's one reason women like low tops, guys)?"

Mens' clothes are completely different from womens', though, particularly in what constitutes "sexually attractive" clothing (which the term "low-cut dress" seems to imply). Do women have a higher body temperature that they have to wear less clothing to account for?

Actually, men are better at cooling themselves http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-11492897

Re: "Lighten up"

#194
post #87

You see, I have problem with posts like this. First I'm like - "Woah, I can't imagine someone would be so insensitive to make joke like this!" and get all fed up and upset. But then... then I freeze, because next example is something that I can imagine myself saying. "Oop, Katie's got the low cut dress on today! I know where I'm sitting!" I... I'm at loss of words. I was trained during my teenage years, that it's coo…

"Katie's got the low cut dress on today! I know where I'm sitting!"...As I'm getting older, I see how sexist and demeaning this is. At the risk of revealing myself to be a chauvinistic jerk, is this kind of response sexist and demeaning, or just inappropriate for the workplace? Why do women wear low-cut dresses if not to attract male attention (in the majority of cases)? Would it be sexist and demeaning for me to not…

Public perception (as judged by art, which usually represents a slightly caricatured version of reality) seems to imply that your attractiveness and the appropriateness of your comments are inversely correlated.

That is to say, if you tell a woman she looks good, it will be a compliment if she likes you, a sexist remark if she doesn't.

Re: "Lighten up"

#195
post #13

@kcunning - How do you contrast your desire to have a perfectly professional relationship with everyone you work with vs a desire to enjoy an office environment where you can joke around and have fun? While I understand your answer may well be, "Leave the jokes at home, Mr. Colbert. I'm here to code and make a paycheck." I would be sad if my relationship with my coworkers couldn't handle, let alone thrive upon, humor…

I'm actually a fairly baudy person. I've made sailors blush. I don't mind joking around at all. What irks me is when someone does something sexist, and I do speak up about it... and I'm told to 'lighten up'. If it was important enough for me to say something, then at least acknowledge that. Most of my co-workers are awesome. They'd never dream of making the dress comment, or tell me to go get their coffee. But it doe…

Learn to troll. You, as a woman, can bite a man ten times worse than any male colleague. Just respond. The effect would be amazing.

Re: "Lighten up"

#196
post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But there IS changing everyone's behaviour. In my lifetime, drunk driving and spoual abuse have become socially unacceptable. Overt racism has become socially unacceptable. Two women got engaged at centre-ice in a hockey game, a bastion of blue-collar society. All these changes happened because people said, "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it any more!"

> In my lifetime, drunk driving and spoual abuse have become socially unacceptable Seeing the change in your lifetime does not mean the entire process occurred in your lifetime. How many lifetimes is it taking for women, gays, and black people to become treated as equals, and we're still not there. Like I said, it takes lifetimes. I'm not saying don't fight discrimination. I'm saying she should consider her health. U…

Interracial marriage was illegal in much of the US until just 45 years ago. The Stonewall Riots were the same year we landed on the moon. Romer v. Evans wasn't until 1996, and Lawrence v. Texas is just eight years old. You have a poor sense of history and the passage of time if you do not recognize the staggering speed with which the world can and has changed.

Re: "Lighten up"

#197
post #170

Earlier quoted context omitted.

And yet you have two people in this thread saying "I see myself in what you complain about and I don't like it". It's interesting that you draw from that "nothing can ever change" (my phrasing).

You put quotes around the phrase "nothing can ever change", and yet that phrase doesn't appear in the parent comment. I suggest restricting yourself to rebutting arguments I actually made.

How would you characterize the difference between "the problem is unfixable" and "nothing can ever change"? They are substansively the same position.

Re: "Lighten up"

#198
post #71

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Because being young does not mean you have to be immature, and sexism should have nothing do with either immaturity and youth.

And indeed - by declaring yourself mature enough to handle a startup at a young age, you're also declaring yourself mature enough to act like a human being. Young people in prominent settings shouldn't get a free pass - if you want to be in the "big leagues", you've got to act like you belong there.

OK, but millionaire CEOs and invented the Old Boys Club, so what does success in business have to do with egalitarian respectful behavior toward all?

Re: "Lighten up"

#199

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Mens' clothes are completely different from womens', though, particularly in what constitutes "sexually attractive" clothing (which the term "low-cut dress" seems to imply). Do women have a higher body temperature that they have to wear less clothing to account for?

So, do guys wear shorts to draw attention to their legs or because it's more comfortable? Because it's more comfortable. So, maybe it's possible that a woman might wear a low cut dress because it's more comfortable?

Well, it's more subtle than that. A male may wear shorts to be comfortable, but he's wearing a sleeveless top because he wants to show off his biceps. Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.

Re: "Lighten up"

#200
post #87

You see, I have problem with posts like this. First I'm like - "Woah, I can't imagine someone would be so insensitive to make joke like this!" and get all fed up and upset. But then... then I freeze, because next example is something that I can imagine myself saying. "Oop, Katie's got the low cut dress on today! I know where I'm sitting!" I... I'm at loss of words. I was trained during my teenage years, that it's coo…

We've just had an identical (100%) feeling. I was telling myself "Come on, stop crying like a baby" until I read those words. I feel extremely sorry for her and anyone who has to go through this.
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