at my job, it's part of company culture to praise people publicly whenever they're doing great work. it's a great way of knowing you're on the right path.
When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)
181–190 of 371 posts
Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)
#182I disagree with the "ask first" suggestion. That's adding friction to the process that makes it less organic and will disincentivize actually doing it. Instead I will give feedback that I know won't hurt the employee I'm praising. There is an art to writing this stuff - usually making it more about yourself and how your problems are easier.
You can’t possibly know what will cause harm. Just ask them, it isn’t complicated.
Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)
#183>Ask if it’s ok first… This is very astute. Not everyone likes getting praise in public settings or they might not want their micromanaging manager to know they helped you outside the scope of their work. You should be cognizant of when praise should be given (i.e. when is it appropriate) and in what context as mentioned in the article. That said, if you aren’t thanking and praising your colleagues for doing good wor…
> If you are calling out your colleagues for doing bad work, or not the way you would do it work, you should try to rephrase into praise w/ direction. “I really liked how you tackled this, have you thought about this approach?” Instead of “Why didn’t you do it this way?” I don't want to work with people that communicate this way.
I really like how direct you have been in stating your preference, but have you thought about an approach where tailoring your message to the audience to produce the best reception?
Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)
#184Earlier quoted context omitted.
But what if you did? No one is saying to lie. If you genuinely cannot find any good out of the code review (considerations for performance, easy to read, functional solution, time to execute, ability to reach out to proper peers), then maybe they shouldn't have been hired to begin with? Even a well picked intern these days should have one of those qualities.
So, that would be "I think you did it wrong; of course, I can't claim to know that objectively; anyway, I really liked the way you did it"...
You sound wishy washy and you need to review your requirements, and/or rope in someone who does knows how to do it right in that case.
There is nothing wrong with "this doesn't feel right but I don't have the capacity to tell". If you aren't qualified for that sort of code review, find the proper peer who can.
Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)
#185Earlier quoted context omitted.
>I really liked how you tackled this Because you open the communication with a lie.
Such communication style can work well, but only if it is genuine. When people do mess up, there is often something good in the mix. It’s possible to lead with a compliment to point out what was done well, and follow up with constructive criticism. It’s about style. When done well, you don’t notice it and you like it. If done awkwardly or stiffly, it feels fake, patronizing, and disingenuous.
The shit sandwich approach...
But yeah if you're a person who's only capable of complaining and criticizing others (assuming it's perfectly legitimate/reasonable) you might struggle communicating with most people who don't know you really well/are used to different culture.
Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)
#186Earlier quoted context omitted.
I do. Having worked with so many engineers with almost no social skills, I think there's a lot of room for improvement in their communication style. "Why didn't you do it this way?" is aggressive and critical. "have you thought about this approach?" makes them feel like you have their back and are trying to help. I agree there's not a huge need to the "I really liked how you tackled this" part but even never praising…
That's different though. I don't think your parent meant the "have you tried this approach" part but the very very fake and passive aggressive praise that then is turned into "actually I don't think you did great, please try this other approach". That's so fake and irritating.
Yeah I agree that comes across as fake, especially if done constantly. But its still good to recognize your peers effort even if sometimes it results in the wrong outcome.
Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)
#187Earlier quoted context omitted.
That's a cultural and personal thing. Consider the recipient's preferences. If you would like to learn about these cultural preferences, read Erin Meyer's The Culture Map . https://erinmeyer.com/books/the-culture-map/
This is why the Golden Rule is wrong. Not “Do unto others as you would have them to do to you.” but instead “Do unto others how they uhh want to be done unto.” Different folks, different strokes.
Problem is that you don't know what others want and it takes time to establish that. Even then they may not necessarily know what they want. People change their minds.
It's a rule of thumb regardless. not an ironclad rule. generally, people want to be treated respectfully, so treat them respectfully and course correct if cultural/social lines demand it.
Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)
#188I disagree with the "ask first" suggestion. That's adding friction to the process that makes it less organic and will disincentivize actually doing it. Instead I will give feedback that I know won't hurt the employee I'm praising. There is an art to writing this stuff - usually making it more about yourself and how your problems are easier.
I let managers know about great interactions with their direct reports. It never occurred to me to ask. I may start doing so. But this reason for not doing it boils my blood: > One person mentioned that they got reprimanded by their manager for getting a spot peer bonus for helping someone on another team. This is a hill I will die on: people at $this_company are a team and helping one another is critical in building…
The phrase is “I won’t die on that hill”. It references the pointless meat grinders of the Vietnam war. There is no corollary hill worth dying on.
If you still want to throw your life away on a meaningless endeavor do not bring me along with you. Talking to management can and will hurt people. Do not make decisions for others without their consent.
Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)
#189Earlier quoted context omitted.
> If you are calling out your colleagues for doing bad work, or not the way you would do it work, you should try to rephrase into praise w/ direction. “I really liked how you tackled this, have you thought about this approach?” Instead of “Why didn’t you do it this way?” I don't want to work with people that communicate this way.
I kind of agree, I don’t want to work with a HR robot. I know someone that talks like this to non-coworker friends and it’s honestly just… offputting. I’m more into “ehhh honestly not how I would do it. The {problem} will cause issues down the road”. And that opens up a two ended respectful conversation. Someone telling that to me, I’m not going to think they’re being an asshole. I’ve learned a lot from people stoppi…
> “ehhh honestly not how I would do it. The {problem} will cause issues down the road”
If the context is that someone is speaking about something they think they know, and which would be acted upon, what about phrasing the concern as a question, like "How does that approach handle {problem}?"?
(Not that I always practice this, because I don't. But probably it's generally best if I don't assume I'm right. Risks include people who misinterpret question-asking.)
Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)
#190Earlier quoted context omitted.
nah people know when they’re sucking and you just look patronizing talking like that ever play any competitive games? theres nothing you can say directly to a person when they screw up. you have to just have to ignore and focus on the gameplay. saying anything to them raises the likelihood of a negative outcome.
Coworkers have different incentives than players in a game of Dota. In a competitive game, they'll skulk or grief until the game is over, then queue for another and likely will be matched with other people. That behavior doesn't really work in an office, since people are working with the same colleagues every day.
is it incentives or are these just the underlying feelings that happen in most people and there isn’t as much of a reason to suppress in an online environment? Sort of like the road rage problem