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When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

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Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#111

Post by johnnyanmac »

adionionio wrote: post #58
thenose wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not at all. The trick is to force yourself to find something about their approach that you liked. There's almost always something likable. It's also the trick to being liked in general. Not everyone cares about that, but I've found it more of an asset than a distraction.

If someone tries to make me believe something that isn't true, that's as bad as a lie in my book. Avoiding telling an outright lie only serves to keep the dishonest person safe, either from their own conscience or from legal trouble.

which part of "find something about their approach that you liked" is not being understood here? Have you only seen horrible code throughout your career? Has every single thing you ever reviewed rated a 0/10 in your book?

Avoid telling lies by not lying.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#112

Post by edgarvaldes »

anon84873628 wrote: post #97
ori_b wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If you are calling out your colleagues for doing bad work, or not the way you would do it work, you should try to rephrase into praise w/ direction. “I really liked how you tackled this, have you thought about this approach?” Instead of “Why didn’t you do it this way?” I don't want to work with people that communicate this way.

Are you saying you don't want to work with the people who use praise w/ direction? That is my assumption about what you meant given that it seems like the contrary opinion and thus the reason for replying. If that's the case, care to elaborate why you don't like that style?

>I really liked how you tackled this

Because you open the communication with a lie.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#113

Post by brazzledazzle »

gabereiser wrote: post #4

>Ask if it’s ok first… This is very astute. Not everyone likes getting praise in public settings or they might not want their micromanaging manager to know they helped you outside the scope of their work. You should be cognizant of when praise should be given (i.e. when is it appropriate) and in what context as mentioned in the article. That said, if you aren’t thanking and praising your colleagues for doing good wor…

Worth pointing out that you should always ask even when you think you don't need to. It's easy to think that a micromanager is always obvious to anyone outside their team but that's not a given. Some managers are very aware of the stigma and will try to hide it from outsiders.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#114

Post by anon84873628 »

rqtwteye wrote: post #17
whatshisface wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> “I really liked how you tackled this, have you thought about this approach?” Instead of “Why didn’t you do it this way?” That crosses the line by lying, I think it would be better to say "I think it would be better if you did it this way." It's bad to call them stupid or make a superfluous claim of objectivity, but you don't need to pretend to smile and praise.

“I really liked how you tackled this, have you thought about this approach?” I hate this because it’s usually just a shit sandwich. “Great work. Actually it sucked. Keep going.”

The pithiness of the example is not doing any favors. In the real world there would be much more substance.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#115

Post by NordSteve »

giantg2 wrote: post #53
gabereiser wrote: post #4

>Ask if it’s ok first… This is very astute. Not everyone likes getting praise in public settings or they might not want their micromanaging manager to know they helped you outside the scope of their work. You should be cognizant of when praise should be given (i.e. when is it appropriate) and in what context as mentioned in the article. That said, if you aren’t thanking and praising your colleagues for doing good wor…

"they might not want their micromanaging manager to know they helped you outside the scope of their work." So true. My manager was telling me it would look good if I contribute outside of the team. I recently spent maybe 15-30 minutes helping another team - not because I was told to but just because it was the right thing to do (I was the only person left with the knowledge). My manager found out then told me that I…

The only way I'd give one of my reports this feedback is if I'd previously heard "I'm spending all of my time helping other teams get stuff done, and it's blocking me from getting my own stuff done."

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#117

Post by hindsightbias »

Am not one of those people that likes getting noticed too much but have learned praise can be a very soft power when needed. Some people really do put a lot of value on what others think of them and that isn’t a weakness. It can be a great strength to them.

Additionally, it’s a soft power. Managers talk. When I’ve intervened in organizational resource actions, there was always one manager/exec who would jump for me. One of those saves became a VP and another achieved the highest technical rank at a Fortune 200. I did it for them but I also did it for the company.

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#118

Post by esafak »

ori_b wrote: post #76
gabereiser wrote: post #4

>Ask if it’s ok first… This is very astute. Not everyone likes getting praise in public settings or they might not want their micromanaging manager to know they helped you outside the scope of their work. You should be cognizant of when praise should be given (i.e. when is it appropriate) and in what context as mentioned in the article. That said, if you aren’t thanking and praising your colleagues for doing good wor…

> If you are calling out your colleagues for doing bad work, or not the way you would do it work, you should try to rephrase into praise w/ direction. “I really liked how you tackled this, have you thought about this approach?” Instead of “Why didn’t you do it this way?” I don't want to work with people that communicate this way.

That's a cultural and personal thing. Consider the recipient's preferences.

If you would like to learn about these cultural preferences, read Erin Meyer's The Culture Map. https://erinmeyer.com/books/the-culture-map/

Re: When your coworker does great work, tell their manager (2020)

#120

Post by rescripting »

johndhi wrote: post #57

I disagree with the "ask first" suggestion. That's adding friction to the process that makes it less organic and will disincentivize actually doing it. Instead I will give feedback that I know won't hurt the employee I'm praising. There is an art to writing this stuff - usually making it more about yourself and how your problems are easier.

Asking first makes sense because they may have been told by their manager to deprioritize or stop working on whatever your problem was, but they used their judgement and helped you anyway. Praising them in front of others undermines that directive, and even if their manager was ok with them helping you in this one off situation they may not want to advertise "Go to John for help with X".

You hear stories of employees getting fired after a positive review is posted online "Our server Marie was amazing! She went above and beyond by giving our son a free ice cream on his birthday!"

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