> t is whether comments are raised to HR, management, or for personal lawsuits. This is potentially career ending.
In some imaginary world maybe, but in practice we have many people with mountains of documented misbehavior still being in charge, so we definitely don't live in that world. First of all, very few women report even blatant misbehavior like groping, forced kisses or even rape, and then there are even fewer HR department that react properly when such reports are raised. The risk of a misunderstanding ending your career is basically null. The risk of ending a woman's career when she reports misconducts is much, much higher.
> Part of living in a society with free speech is that we sometimes say things which hurt others people's feelings.
Insulting your boss will almost always lead to you being fired, threatening a cop will get you legal troubles. Free speech is not absolute, and was never supposed to be.
> In the office today I am very careful never to be alone in a room with a woman. I don't "banter" with women because I am worried that one of my comments, however harmless in intent, will be perceived poorly.
Then you have a problem when communicating with women, and you should probably spend more time around them to learn. Yes at the beginning this will likely
mean that you'd need to weight all your words to avoid saying something inappropriate, but at the end of the day, you'd have learned how to behave
> This means my dynamic with male colleagues is different because I trust they will not attempt to end my career over a misunderstanding.
That's a pretty bad assessment, as men are much more likely to throw you under the bus at the first occasion than women, because rivalries are much more intense between people of the same sex. Being afraid of your women coworker because they could report you is as irrational as being afraid of your neighbors because they could murder your family.