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Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

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Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#201

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are you sure we can't? I'm pretty sure there are people who live alone like up in the mountains or out in the wilderness alone and do just fine.

If you lower your standards, sure. "Just fine" is survivable, but unless one derives enjoyment out of solitude and playing "is it wet or is it cold" all the time, I don't think you'll win many people over to such viewpoints. (I've done solo trips and hiked the AT; it's a great experience, but definitely not for everyone.)

Living in the wilderness doesn't mean living in squalor. Off-grid houses can be downright luxurious compared to the typical suburban tract McMansion.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#202

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No we aren’t social animals, certainly not in rural areas. Give me a good book and a quiet afternoon in the shade of a tree with no neighbours any day.

You maybe not. But having lived in very rural areas you quickly realize that your neighbors are your safety net far more than the authorities and that in a pinch you all need to be able to rely on each other. A good book isn't going to get your car out of a ditch or help locate your kid or pet when it has gone missing.

> in very rural areas you quickly realize that your neighbors are your safety net far more than the authorities

Unless you are non-white, an immigrant, LGBTQ, neurodivergent, etc...

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#203

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Try saying, "Great, and you?" even if you don't mean it at all. Nothing I hate more than a liar.

Try going without lying for a week. I think there are even movies about that.

https://imdb.com/title/tt0119528/

> Was it good for you?

> I've had better.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#204
post #35

Mr. Rogers was my actual neighbor in Pittsburgh in 1999-2000, while I was at CMU. He would really go out of his way to have social interactions. He would always say hello and ask how you were doing in a way that felt like he actually genuinely wanted to know the answer. Case of the person in real life being exactly like what he seems like on TV.

This is one thing that always got me about the United States: people will ask you how you are doing, but they don't actually mean it, it's just a required pre-amble, a bit like the tones a modem uses to sync up with the other end. If he did it in a way that he actually genuinely wanted to know the answer that alone would set him apart in a very distinctive way. Most people really don't want to know the answer, but th…

Off topic: this comment subthread is collapsed by default on page load. I haven't seen this before, is it a new type of mod action?

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#205

We got a small, older dog a couple years ago, mostly for my wife. She has health issues and can't walk the dog, so it fell on me. At first I was kind of resentful. The dog is ponderous and doesn't really take direction much, and I'm way too short on free time. Well, I've lived in the neighborhood for ten years and only when I started walking the dog did I start meeting a bunch of people in the neighborhood. I still w…

That was COVID for me. My front porch was and still is my office, and I got to know most of my neighbors and all of the gossip.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#206
We live in a mid sized city in the midwest, typical city block with single family homes. Folks keep to themselves a bit - not everyone, but enough that you have to make an effort to connect with neighbors.

My son and I had the idea that we should just organize a block party. I think this was in early 2021 after covid was letting up a bit. He was 7 years old and said we should get a food truck to come.

So that's what we did. Made homemade invitations and handed them out to a couple blocks around us and sent out emails to friends.

I think we had like 75 people show up to the first one! It was great. Had a taco truck come, and the local fire station rolled the engine by for the kids.

Blocked off the street so everyone could sit together and the kids could run around without worrying about traffic.

We've been trying to do this every 6 months or so since then. Great way to meet tons of folks in the immediate vicinity and strike up some new friendships - highly recommend it.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#207
As a kid, I had extreme social anxiety. I had a hard time talking to people and making friends. I never felt like I “belonged.”

As an adult, I still have crippling social anxiety.

I can’t speak for everywhere, I’m pretty much only in the U.S., but I’ve noticed that most fellow adults I come across are chronically deprived of social interaction.

My social anxiety doesn’t actually matter. Me being awkward, and weird, and a little bit out there doesn’t actually matter. If you talk to people, ask them questions about themselves, laugh with them when they want to laugh, listen to them when they want to vent, rant with them when they want to rant, and feel pain with them when they’re vulnerable, a sweeping majority of the people I’ve met in the U.S. engage.

And the more you do it, the more you realize the world is actually full of amazing people. They’re all living their lives, making mistakes, getting things wrong, and making bad calls. But overwhelmingly they’re trying to figure life out and get through the best they can; and they want people with them on that journey.

I still have crippling social anxiety but my friend group is steadily growing and it feels good. I still play the fun game in my head of “haha did we all have a good time today or did I actually say something terrible and now everyone hates me or thinks I’m a fool?” on pretty much a daily basis. But I wouldn’t go back to being lonely. Not just for me, but for these amazing people who want more folks with them on their journey.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#208

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You maybe not. But having lived in very rural areas you quickly realize that your neighbors are your safety net far more than the authorities and that in a pinch you all need to be able to rely on each other. A good book isn't going to get your car out of a ditch or help locate your kid or pet when it has gone missing.

> in very rural areas you quickly realize that your neighbors are your safety net far more than the authorities Unless you are non-white, an immigrant, LGBTQ, neurodivergent, etc...

It's a bit odd to make such a blanket statement for people living in rural areas all over the world. These are "my peeps" and we're not any of those things.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#209

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is one thing that always got me about the United States: people will ask you how you are doing, but they don't actually mean it, it's just a required pre-amble, a bit like the tones a modem uses to sync up with the other end. If he did it in a way that he actually genuinely wanted to know the answer that alone would set him apart in a very distinctive way. Most people really don't want to know the answer, but th…

Do you shake hands? No one in my life shakes hands anymore. "Hi, how are you," is no more rational, but at least it's more hygienic. As polite social conventions go, I'd call it pretty harmless. Sort of miss the handshakes though. Edit: FWIW, I often ask people how they are, and while I hope and am delighted to hear how people are, you're right, objectively, I think it's really more just sort of a default template th…

I still handshake new people that I meet who I know I may meet again. Neighbours, tradesmen, new coworkers etc. It's a sign of respect and openness where i'm from.

COVID was really weird because I knew that on meeting someone I would, and I knew they would normally shake as a greeting, but instead we would stand around hands awkwardly at our sides.

Re: Mister Rogers had a point – routinely greeting six neighbors maximizes wellbeing

#210

As a kid, I had extreme social anxiety. I had a hard time talking to people and making friends. I never felt like I “belonged.” As an adult, I still have crippling social anxiety. I can’t speak for everywhere, I’m pretty much only in the U.S., but I’ve noticed that most fellow adults I come across are chronically deprived of social interaction. My social anxiety doesn’t actually matter. Me being awkward, and weird, a…

Rationally, I know what you've said to be the truth.

In reality, I cut my own hair because it stresses me out to go to a Greatclips.

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