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Why Men Get So Few Matches on Dating Apps [video]

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Re: Why Men Get So Few Matches on Dating Apps [video]

#61

One of my friends, as a broke college student, worked for a 'sugardaddy' site. Her job was to manage the inboxes of all the fake profiles (and the site had a dedicated UI for her and others, that all the profiles were tagged internally, and their inboxes were amalgamated and she'd work through messages). Her remit was to respond to the messages, and she could choose, but some should be "thanks no thanks", some non-co…

what was the point of this interaction? to make the site look like there were actually users? or was she just scamming people?

The former. To provide plausible deniability that they weren't fake profiles.

Re: Why Men Get So Few Matches on Dating Apps [video]

#62
post #32
post #28

At risk of making myself look like a loser, I'll share my experience. I have tried dating apps and occasionally get matches but it never really turns into anything. When you realise the girl on the other side has an abundance of men blowing up her phone with first messages, you realise it's hopeless. The usual advice is to date through your network of friends instead, but I'm a very solitary individual. I haven't got…

It's not hopeless. In fact, online dating is the most common path to finding a partner. That said, you have to set yourself apart somehow. Different for every individual, and it takes a serious amount of effort. But it's not impossible, and it's not hopeless, and it's not pointless, and I sympathize and understand why you currently feel that it is.

I have to agree with the sentiment that men attempting to only or overuse online dating are doing themselves a disservice. They need to develop the confidence and skill to approach women and have natural conversations.

Men are severely limiting themselves and distorting their reality, because lots of online sites are wasting their time and money. The ratio of women in many sites are low, lots of disguised prostitution, lots of pranksters wasting people's time, paid geeks (other men) to just string customers along, etc...

Re: Why Men Get So Few Matches on Dating Apps [video]

#63
post #28

At risk of making myself look like a loser, I'll share my experience. I have tried dating apps and occasionally get matches but it never really turns into anything. When you realise the girl on the other side has an abundance of men blowing up her phone with first messages, you realise it's hopeless. The usual advice is to date through your network of friends instead, but I'm a very solitary individual. I haven't got…

> When you realise the girl on the other side has an abundance of men blowing up her phone with first messages, you realise it's hopeless.

The reality of online dating for women is that all you have to do is show up.

yes, you will get a TON of messages. You'll have to sort through them. we know this.

it's an entirely opposite experience for men. online dating is still geared towards separating them from money.

I hope to never have to deal with it again, honestly. it's depressing.

Re: Why Men Get So Few Matches on Dating Apps [video]

#64
post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The true question is why are salaries (amongst many other things) subject to the gender. And from what I read above your comment, people do want to correct it in the dating apps too. So, misplaced anger over self?

If I had truly misplaced anger over my self, would that make my argument less valid? Can you really say - well this person's point of view is invalid, because he is, indeed, acting in some sort of anger without knowing anything really about me? Honestly, I am not angry with myself. And back to the discussion - will that make you listen? :) I dont want to correct dating apps at all. I said its natural. But I want you…

I guess we would just disagree on this key point that salary differences are based on gender behavior and not just on gender. As far as I can see, the salary differences (and others, including votes for women, leadership positions etc) are based on perceived gender differences and not on actual behavior changes.

Re: Why Men Get So Few Matches on Dating Apps [video]

#66

One of my friends, as a broke college student, worked for a 'sugardaddy' site. Her job was to manage the inboxes of all the fake profiles (and the site had a dedicated UI for her and others, that all the profiles were tagged internally, and their inboxes were amalgamated and she'd work through messages). Her remit was to respond to the messages, and she could choose, but some should be "thanks no thanks", some non-co…

what was the point of this interaction? to make the site look like there were actually users? or was she just scamming people?

There's lot of evidence of dating sites doing this, such as having people working for them to string male customers along for money. It's arguably fraud. There are also many other ways to take advantage of desperate or lonely men (or "picky" women with some marketing twists), such as suggesting or advertising to customers they pay even more money for things like "boost", "VIP", "gold membership", etc... These more costlier options also give an incentive to do fraudulent things like having paid (usually female) responders fake interest in paying customers (usually male) for a set time and then go ghost or flake.

Speaking of fraudulent, so are many of the profiles and descriptions, both male and female. Profiles and descriptions often are highly distorted, with out of control female hypergamy. Everybody trying to present themselves as better than the other or elite, even when they are average or below average in reality.

80% to 85% of the women on a site looking for the top 20% to 15% of men, thus many don't really qualify nor match up for what they are looking for. Consequently, such "lower ranking" women can get taken advantage of by the top 15% who run through them (sometimes at incredible numbers) or will never commit to them, then these angry hurt women take it out on all other men that had nothing to with their past. Thus they are "full of old scars", "super extra picky" or "flaky".

For all the time and money wasted on fake and distorted profiles, it's better to invest in getting over one's fear of rejection and learn how to approach people appropriately and have natural conversations. Find free ways to meet and talk, there are plenty, if a person puts their mind and effort into it. At least don't have online dating, especially costly sites, be the only option.

Re: Why Men Get So Few Matches on Dating Apps [video]

#67
post #8

Google hypergamy

Or don't. Here's a TL;DR: It's a relatively small effect where men tend to go for women more attractive than they are, and women tend to go for men who have higher status and earnings than they do. Certain circles like to misrepresent it as responsible for why so many men remain single, but in reality people tend to match with those close to them in social status and earnings, with just a bit of the bias remaining un…

Not quite sure what's trying to be accomplished by giving an odd definition/description of hypergamy. Even wikipedia contains[1], "the overall practice of women marrying up...". Here's also some articles (by female authors) that explains what's usually going on in regards to hypergamy[2][3].

Attempting to date someone who is more attractive, is much more about opinion and is relative, so is harder to quantify. Where it's much clearer how much money is actually in someone's or their family's bank account, net worth, or who makes more money.

[1]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypergamy

[2]: https://ifstudies.org/blog/whither-hypergamy

[3]: https://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-flings/dating-game/hyperg...

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