Ignoring boys' emotional needs fuels public health risks

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> Only thing left is complain why they didn’t think of him when he wasn’t around

Which is a totally valid complaint man. That’s what the whole fuckin article is about. That’s what all this is about. A man is allowed to feel disappointed people didn’t think of him when he wasn’t around, and he’s allowed to express that disappointment out loud. You’re literally perpetuating the cycle by enforcing toxic ideas of masculinity, this idea that you either fix your own problems or shut the fuck up about them.

It’s a self-defeating way to live.

Edit: your comment is god-tier irony because “not being thought of when you’re not around” is like the core of a lot of men’s emotional wounds. As in, a child’s experience of emotional neglect is the caregiver not thinking of the child when they’re not around, so the fact you are holding up the idea of complaining about that for ridicule is so on-the-nose it is actually hurting my soul on your behalf.

Prior to my transition, I was an outspoken radical feminist. I spoke up often, loudly and with confidence. I was encouraged to speak up. I was given awards for my efforts, literally — it was like, “Oh, yeah, speak up, speak out.” When I speak up now, I am often given the direct or indirect message that I am “mansplaining,” “taking up too much space” or “asserting my white male heterosexual privilege.” Never mind that I am a first-generation Mexican American, a transsexual man, and married to the same woman I was with prior to my transition.

I find the assertion that I am now unable to speak out on issues I find important offensive and I refuse to allow anyone to silence me. My ability to empathize has grown exponentially, because I now factor men into my thinking and feeling about situations. Prior to my transition, I rarely considered how men experienced life or what they thought, wanted or liked about their lives. I have learned so much about the lives of men through my friendships with men

What continues to strike me is the significant reduction in friendliness and kindness now extended to me in public spaces. It now feels as though I am on my own: No one, outside of family and close friends, is paying any attention to my well-being.

I can recall a moment where this difference hit home. A couple of years into my medical gender transition, I was traveling on a public bus early one weekend morning. There were six people on the bus, including me. One was a woman. She was talking on a mobile phone very loudly and remarked that “men are such a–holes.” I immediately looked up at her and then around at the other men. Not one had lifted his head to look at the woman or anyone else. The woman saw me look at her and then commented to the person she was speaking with about “some a–hole on the bus right now looking at me.” I was stunned, because I recall being in similar situations, but in the reverse, many times: A man would say or do something deemed obnoxious or offensive, and I would find solidarity with the women around me as we made eye contact, rolled our eyes and maybe even commented out loud on the situation. I’m not sure I understand why the men did not respond, but it made a lasting impression on me.

[1]: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/local/wp/2018/07/20/feat...

It's because men are physically stronger than women. That's it. That's all it is.