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A complete guide to getting what you want (2018)

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Re: A complete guide to getting what you want (2018)

#71

Post by [deleted] »

dmichulke wrote: post #69
inconceivable wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

i also sold my startup to a good outcome and ran the business very profitably for years and i agree that there are some things that can not be taught - but that doesn't mean they can't be learned if you have the right mental models. at one point i was terrible at dating / women but over the years i've gotten a lot better than where i started. and yes, there are some people who are just hopeless because they refuse to…

Extremely uncomfortable and true, like swallowing the red pill. Have you found a way of finding similarly minded people in life?

[deleted]

Re: A complete guide to getting what you want (2018)

#72

Post by Paul-Craft »

xyzelement wrote: post #67
eastbound wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It’s a self-truthing statement. As in, everyone who doesn’t agree with you is also excluded from your criteria. So from your point of view, you are absolutely right. It goes like this: - Papa deer: “Remember son, you have the power to make objects move by thought. If you see a car rolling towards you, STARE at it straight in the headlights and concentrate and move it with your mind.” - Son deer: “Isn’t that how grand…

You've missed my point with both parts of your post, alas. I am not talking about guaranteed success, but about people who don't try the avenues that are available to them. Like if you are a deer and your family is getting killed by cars, have you tried not standing in the damn road? I know so many people who have an obvious next action available that would leave them no worse and likely better, but they don't try it…

> I know so many people who have an obvious next action available that would leave them no worse and likely better, but they don't try it.

Obvious to you, perhaps. But, who says it's obvious to them?

Re: A complete guide to getting what you want (2018)

#73

Post by xyzelement »

Paul-Craft wrote: post #72
xyzelement wrote: post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You've missed my point with both parts of your post, alas. I am not talking about guaranteed success, but about people who don't try the avenues that are available to them. Like if you are a deer and your family is getting killed by cars, have you tried not standing in the damn road? I know so many people who have an obvious next action available that would leave them no worse and likely better, but they don't try it…

> I know so many people who have an obvious next action available that would leave them no worse and likely better, but they don't try it. Obvious to you, perhaps. But, who says it's obvious to them?

... even when told.

Re: A complete guide to getting what you want (2018)

#74

Post by bjelkeman-again »

safety1st wrote: post #12
eastbound wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It’s a self-truthing statement. As in, everyone who doesn’t agree with you is also excluded from your criteria. So from your point of view, you are absolutely right. It goes like this: - Papa deer: “Remember son, you have the power to make objects move by thought. If you see a car rolling towards you, STARE at it straight in the headlights and concentrate and move it with your mind.” - Son deer: “Isn’t that how grand…

> Some people, no matter how they work to build a startup, are blocked from success by external factors, on which they can do nothing. What are the factors specifically? How are you defining success? My definition is "You built a profitable business" and there are so many small businesses doing this across the world, I can't really think of external factors that are true deal breakers except perhaps very bad health,…

I think it is fair to say that there is a difference between starting a business you can survive on and one which will make you a millionaire. These often get mixed, especially on HN.

Re: A complete guide to getting what you want (2018)

#75

Post by jamilton »

theaussiestew wrote: post #50
yboris wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I recommend you look at Effective Altruism . Can there be anything more-fulfilling or less regret-on-your-deathbed than helping others (while knowing you're doing it in the most effective way you can)? There are hobbies for sure, but when you spend 80,000 Hours in a career which you feel helps no one but you with your income, you might find mid-life there are more-important things. https://www.effectivealtruism.org/…

I used to believe in Effective Altruism but the older I get the more I realise that it’s just another “feel good” philanthropy for rich people movement with completely warped values around so called rationality, utilitarianism and technological saviour complexes. If one reads the website and the projects accomplished most of them are completely vapid. Malaria nets? AI assignment research? Some high brow research inst…

What's your thought process on malaria nets being vapid? It's not structural change, but (statistically) saving a life for ~$6k (I think that's their estimate? Or was at some point) is amazing, and very "real".

I don't have any experience with the actual culture of EA, but the concept and the philanthropy itself seems at least as good as other charities or mission-focused organizations.

Re: A complete guide to getting what you want (2018)

#76

Post by 888666 »

inconceivable wrote: post #26
eastbound wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It’s a self-truthing statement. As in, everyone who doesn’t agree with you is also excluded from your criteria. So from your point of view, you are absolutely right. It goes like this: - Papa deer: “Remember son, you have the power to make objects move by thought. If you see a car rolling towards you, STARE at it straight in the headlights and concentrate and move it with your mind.” - Son deer: “Isn’t that how grand…

i also sold my startup to a good outcome and ran the business very profitably for years and i agree that there are some things that can not be taught - but that doesn't mean they can't be learned if you have the right mental models. at one point i was terrible at dating / women but over the years i've gotten a lot better than where i started. and yes, there are some people who are just hopeless because they refuse to…

As a woman, men who are focused on stuff like this (beyond basic physical and financial health) scare and repel me.

Re: A complete guide to getting what you want (2018)

#77

Post by inconceivable »

888666 wrote: post #76
inconceivable wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

i also sold my startup to a good outcome and ran the business very profitably for years and i agree that there are some things that can not be taught - but that doesn't mean they can't be learned if you have the right mental models. at one point i was terrible at dating / women but over the years i've gotten a lot better than where i started. and yes, there are some people who are just hopeless because they refuse to…

As a woman, men who are focused on stuff like this (beyond basic physical and financial health) scare and repel me.

yeah, guys working on improving themselves is pretty creepy, especially when they talk about it on the internet. and how would you know they're trying to become a more confident, well dressed, decisive and assertive version of themselves, anyway?

9. never tell women you are working on this stuff actively because it is extremely creepy to them that you are trying to pull yourself up from being unattractive. above comment is saying so, in plain english. the very thought that you would want to improve yourself is repulsive. general rule of thumb is just shut the fuck up about it and avoid over-sharing.

"just so you know, i'm working on not being a needy dork that texts you 24/7. i hope to be more attractive to you by working on my ability to make decisions for myself without being devastated when someone tells me their opinion of me. do you like me more now? how about now? how about now?"

Re: A complete guide to getting what you want (2018)

#78

Post by EVa5I7bHFq9mnYK »

eastbound wrote: post #10
xyzelement wrote: post #2

> Quite often a reasonable, achievable, and worthwhile desire goes unpursued because we have a simultaneous desire to not pursue it. When we say something is “impossible” or “too hard” or “not in the cards,” that’s a clue. This resonates. Many who are stuck frustrated not getting what they want have talked themselves out of trying to get it to begin with. A good another clue is 3rd party attribution. "My life is bad…

It’s a self-truthing statement. As in, everyone who doesn’t agree with you is also excluded from your criteria. So from your point of view, you are absolutely right. It goes like this: - Papa deer: “Remember son, you have the power to make objects move by thought. If you see a car rolling towards you, STARE at it straight in the headlights and concentrate and move it with your mind.” - Son deer: “Isn’t that how grand…

CA is not a place to get laid. Go East, young man, go East and grow a pair.

Re: A complete guide to getting what you want (2018)

#79

Post by johnfn »

yboris wrote: post #33
akkad33 wrote: post #17

Is there a guide for knowing what you want?

I recommend you look at Effective Altruism . Can there be anything more-fulfilling or less regret-on-your-deathbed than helping others (while knowing you're doing it in the most effective way you can)? There are hobbies for sure, but when you spend 80,000 Hours in a career which you feel helps no one but you with your income, you might find mid-life there are more-important things. https://www.effectivealtruism.org/…

Effective Altruism might be great, but I'm not convinced that it's a one-size-fits-all approach to solving the problem of what someone actually desires. In fact, doing what one feels one "should" do or what other people might appreciate is a great way to avoid discovering what one actually wants.

Re: A complete guide to getting what you want (2018)

#80

Post by laserlight »

yboris wrote: post #33
akkad33 wrote: post #17

Is there a guide for knowing what you want?

I recommend you look at Effective Altruism . Can there be anything more-fulfilling or less regret-on-your-deathbed than helping others (while knowing you're doing it in the most effective way you can)? There are hobbies for sure, but when you spend 80,000 Hours in a career which you feel helps no one but you with your income, you might find mid-life there are more-important things. https://www.effectivealtruism.org/…

> the most effective way

Like spending £15M for real estate [0].

[0] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33903850

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