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Dating, education, and sex ratios

robkhenderson.com

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Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#351

Post by austhrow743 »

antisthenes wrote: post #312
austhrow743 wrote: post #269

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In a hetero relationship context it makes perfect sense to me that women would determine what is desirable in men. How else would it work?

Society also determines what is desirable in men and women. In fact historically it was much more strict in determining what is desirable. If most men had their way in what is truly "desirable", they would have mute sex dolls that cook their favorite meal every night. If most women had their way, they would probably have something equivalently grotesque to fit their fantasies.

That you can't get the ideal extreme of your wants doesn't mean you don't desire them currently.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#352

Post by Dalewyn »

politician wrote: post #244
Dalewyn wrote: post #163

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hard agree, I have no intentions of marrying let alone having children. I'm perfectly happy living my life going my way and my way alone as I see fit. Most human relations are straight bullshit and just aren't worth my time and energy in an age when there's so much to do, so much to see, and so little time. The people moaning about marriage and birth rates can go pound sand.

I respect your individual right to this attitude, but consider that the wonders you enjoy today are sustained by a population of a particular size. As populations contract, the number of places that support the activities and adventures you want to have will necessarily contract as well. Imagine a campfire, throughout the night you'll have to move the dwindling coals closer together if you can't add more wood. So, on…

The fact you are trying to guilt trip me, in spite of supposed respect for differing opinions, demonstrates my point that most human relations are bullshit.

I've got better things to do and see with my limited time than deal with that, let alone on a permanent basis like in a marriage.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#353

Post by WastingMyTime89 »

dahwolf wrote: post #252
WastingMyTime89 wrote: post #200

While the article offers nothing of value outside of its provocative title (but I clicked so I guess it works), I’m genuinely fascinated by why every article about dating here leads to such a slew of poor comments. I mean the discussion is full of entitlement, misogyny, cynicism or a mix of the three. A casual reading lends me to think that this is because this place skews rather young.

What misogyny? Women are not above criticism and most of the comments dropped here can easily be backed up by data.

I think you are fundamentally misunderstanding what misogyny is. The issue is not if statements here can or can not be backed by data (some probably can, some can’t, some are misrepresented).

Misogyny is not prejudice. It also simply is dislike or contempt for women as a gender. Something which is clearly on display throughout this whole page.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#354

Post by asjfka »

midoridensha wrote: post #330
TheOtherHobbes wrote: post #153

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's not hard to find "Why is my boyfriend/husband so cheap?" as a recurring question in advice columns. There's definitely a sense among many women that men should be demonstrably spendy - even flamboyant. Presumably because it confers competitive status. I used to have a friend who used to do factory work. She said that whenever any of the women had a new boyfriend one of the first questions was always "What kind o…

>Likewise many dating profiles say "I want a man who will spoil me." "Looking for a man who is $trait, $trait, and generous."

When I was dating, I honestly thought that such verbiage was a code for signaling they were hookers without getting removed. I automatically discarded those profiles.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#355

Post by Manuel_D »

politician wrote: post #286
Manuel_D wrote: post #278

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A dwindling population also has lesser impact on the environment. Ironically, with your example a smaller population would also mean you have fewer people to compete with in finding a camp site and gathering firewood. In terms of long-term health of humanity on Earth a shrinking population is not necessarily a bad thing.

I don’t think you understood the analogy either, but I’ll try to address your point. Yes, fewer people means less human-generated impact on the environment. It follows that zero people minimizes the impact of humans on the environment. I don’t think that’s the direction you have in mind, or at least I hope not. Let’s assume that you want a balance between the number of people on the planet and the carrying capacity o…

I'm not asserting that there's any correct number of children people shoot have - quite the opposite I'm respecting the choices people are currently making. I don't see any issue with that choice, I'd be indifferent if the population were expanding.

I can turn and flip this same question on its head. Why not 95% or 90% as much as whatever you think is the stable population mark. Why not 50% or 20%? This is not eugenics, this is people voluntarily choosing not to have kids. On what grounds are we justified in asserting that the "correct' number of children is higher than what people are choosing?

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#356

Post by vpastore »

friend_and_foe wrote: post #161

All the data is good, but the way it is framed is a bit misleading. First, lets get one thing straight: dysfunction in the dating world negatively affects both men and women. So framing it as "men floundering, women most affected" is disingenuous. What is it about the prospects a man has that he has no desire to become desirable? If men's lives are less rewarding wouldn't it be them, not the women, that are the most…

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Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#357

Post by vpastore »

timeagain wrote: post #206
friend_and_foe wrote: post #161

All the data is good, but the way it is framed is a bit misleading. First, lets get one thing straight: dysfunction in the dating world negatively affects both men and women. So framing it as "men floundering, women most affected" is disingenuous. What is it about the prospects a man has that he has no desire to become desirable? If men's lives are less rewarding wouldn't it be them, not the women, that are the most…

> So framing it as "men floundering, women most affected" is disingenuous. My 2c as a gay man that has many women as friends. They aren’t looking for “status” they are looking for someone who is emotionally intelligent. And thinking that gaining status is how to gain women is pretty much the opposite of that. Patriarchy hurts both sexes. By thinking of status and power as avenues to sex you stunt your ability to conn…

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Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#358

Post by [deleted] »

talldatethrow wrote: post #274

I've been a serial dater for 20+ years now (38M) I've been with 70+ women, and about 10-15 of those for long term. I think more about dating dynamics than basically anyone I've ever met. I'm not sure why. The main takeaway I see from relationships is that I'm expected to give, understand, listen, and bend to be some perfect modern man. I need to be beyond financially stable, I need to be tough, but also have some rom…

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Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#359

Post by expertentipp »

"you're out of swipes", then "oops, you missed a match", and "pay regularly and increasingly more to be even visible". Approaching in real life... my tolerance to being laughed off or ghosted is below zero. Can a man have any expectations and requirements these days?

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#360

Post by [deleted] »

thowaway6060 wrote: post #43

I mean the research is nice, but I don't think that just a degree is going to up your chances. As someone who is using these apps constantly, I don't have any hope of finding a long term partner on there. I am on pretty much every app, except Tinder (Bumble, Hinge, okcupid, pof and even muzmatch (im south asian)). I have a bachelors, and I make good money. I've been told that I am a decent looking guy and I have quit…

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