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Dating, education, and sex ratios

robkhenderson.com

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Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#341

Post by lern_too_spel »

talldatethrow wrote: post #301
lern_too_spel wrote: post #293

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Many women on Twitter are looking for casual relationships. News at 11. It's not different with men. If you're looking for a long term relationship, you have to filter out the casuals. The article says that surveys show more women than men are looking for long term relationships, so if that's what you're looking for, you shouldn't have trouble finding it unless your standards are higher than what you can get vs. comp…

News flash, most people I know were surprised to find out a woman will accept a free trip in exchange for sex with someone they haven't met. The only saving grace of that tinder experiment is that obviously the match meets a looks threshold since she swiped right on him. Id still basically call it prostitution and the acceptance rate was like 30% flat out, and another 30% cautious but could have been talked into it.…

> News flash, most people I know were surprised to find out a woman will accept a free trip in exchange for sex with someone they haven't met.

That isn't what your anecdote showed. It showed they would be willing to meet you to decide if they wanted to take a free trip with you. Some of those with a higher risk tolerance would probably be willing to take the flight and money and ditch you even if you seemed sketchy. Believing they would automatically have sex with you is naïve.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#342

Post by civilitty »

akomtu wrote: post #189
y-c-o-m-b wrote: post #92

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I also avoid these types of conversations for the same reason. Even with people I know and have friendships with, I tend to be very cautious when approaching those topics. There's definitely a sense of "walking on eggshells", especially with the younger or more progressive crowd (note: I'm mostly progressive as well). I am nearly 40 and living in the West Coast of the US, so that may play a part.

What does it mean to be progressive w.r.t. dating these days?

Affirmative Affection

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#343

Post by renewiltord »

jimbob45 wrote: post #70
thowaway6060 wrote: post #43

I mean the research is nice, but I don't think that just a degree is going to up your chances. As someone who is using these apps constantly, I don't have any hope of finding a long term partner on there. I am on pretty much every app, except Tinder (Bumble, Hinge, okcupid, pof and even muzmatch (im south asian)). I have a bachelors, and I make good money. I've been told that I am a decent looking guy and I have quit…

im south asian Races tend to date within their own race. Really wish we could see your profile though to see if you're doing anything I perceive as wrong. I've seen guys with your exact description show me their profile and they have only one picture where it looks like they haven't showered in a month.

Here's the gwern mirror of the okcupid blog showing the race preference. It seemed true there with the one exception: Asian women preferred White Men in the dataset from 2009 to 2013 though it matched the rest for 2014 https://gwern.net/doc/psychology/okcupid/raceandattraction20...

Interesting result, though at that time the US demographics were not as they are today so Asian is likely not South Asian as GGP comment references self as. Though who am I to guess.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#344

Post by lamp_book »

michaelbrave wrote: post #268
visihuge wrote: post #165

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Many of these kinds of articles are always seem to be slanted in how it negatively affects women. Women desiring more successful partners, yet men aren't keeping up. I'd be interested if there was any good article broaching that subject more, instead of remarkably pithy answers like "it's those damn video games."

Honestly it would be hard to touch on without insulting large swaths of society. Just thinking about my own friend and family circle the way a college aged woman is treated is vastly different, even just by parents. For example my sister (22) still lives at home, drives the family car, stepdad pays for her fuel, mom pays for food, is on the family cell plan, has basicaly 0 expenses except wanting to eat out. My broth…

> any of those other percs

I mean, you’re probably better off without those ;)

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#345

Post by renewiltord »

WastingMyTime89 wrote: post #200

While the article offers nothing of value outside of its provocative title (but I clicked so I guess it works), I’m genuinely fascinated by why every article about dating here leads to such a slew of poor comments. I mean the discussion is full of entitlement, misogyny, cynicism or a mix of the three. A casual reading lends me to think that this is because this place skews rather young.

Surely you have noticed that online forums such as this have things they obsess over.

Consider any WFH/RTO thread is filled with wailing and gnashing of teeth referencing "they" trying to make their commercial REIT money; any Google thread has WAGOT referencing the shutting down of products; any Apple thread to contain WAGOT regarding CSAM scanning and so on.

It is the nature of this forum to Wail and Gnash One's Teeth.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#346

Post by friend_and_foe »

KptMarchewa wrote: post #266
dahwolf wrote: post #260

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's insulting in the sense that the stoicism of many men is considered unintelligent, primitive, underdeveloped. You can frame it how you want. It can also be projected as a strength (emotional control). Or men simply being less interested in exchanging emotions intensely as it's just not that important to them.

The "emotional control" that causes them to absolutely blow the fuck up? It's not unintelligent, primitive or underdeveloped, it's simply a meme, an idea that some people can even sincerely believe but at the end it's a pure lie.

I've known men that blow up in extremely stressful circumstances, like slapping things off the table or the stereotypical punching a hole in the wall, for me it is a sign of emotional immaturity. When you're 20 if you do it you've still got some growing up to do, when you're 30 and you do it honestly I judge you. And I know some circumstances can be extremely taxing emotionally, and in very extreme circumstances I can understand losing composure a little, but generally speaking a man should maintain his composure and only react aggressively to actual aggression.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#347

Post by midoridensha »

azemetre wrote: post #284
ryanwaggoner wrote: post #191

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I love this, but there's one thing I'd point out. With few exceptions, there's little defection from secular society into fundamentalist religious communities. Almost everyone in those communities was born there.

Reminds me of the period of people coming to America during colonial times. That there were stories and tales of people joining Native American tribes, completely leaving their old lives behind and becoming happier but you never heard accounts of the reverse. Native Americans willing joining the colonist, this rarely, if ever, happened.

I don't think is a good comparison. Native Americans couldn't join the colonists because the colonists were very racist against them, whereas apparently the Natives were more accepting of colonists who wanted to join them.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#348

Post by talldatethrow »

lern_too_spel wrote: post #341
talldatethrow wrote: post #301

Earlier quoted context omitted.

News flash, most people I know were surprised to find out a woman will accept a free trip in exchange for sex with someone they haven't met. The only saving grace of that tinder experiment is that obviously the match meets a looks threshold since she swiped right on him. Id still basically call it prostitution and the acceptance rate was like 30% flat out, and another 30% cautious but could have been talked into it.…

> News flash, most people I know were surprised to find out a woman will accept a free trip in exchange for sex with someone they haven't met. That isn't what your anecdote showed. It showed they would be willing to meet you to decide if they wanted to take a free trip with you. Some of those with a higher risk tolerance would probably be willing to take the flight and money and ditch you even if you seemed sketchy.…

The sex was flat out implied in the messages we were sending, and it would be a crazy girl to go and ditch you only to have to get her own place to stay and book her own flight back.

But your right, basically all wanted to meet ahead of the trip.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#349

Post by [deleted] »

timeagain wrote: post #206
friend_and_foe wrote: post #161

All the data is good, but the way it is framed is a bit misleading. First, lets get one thing straight: dysfunction in the dating world negatively affects both men and women. So framing it as "men floundering, women most affected" is disingenuous. What is it about the prospects a man has that he has no desire to become desirable? If men's lives are less rewarding wouldn't it be them, not the women, that are the most…

> So framing it as "men floundering, women most affected" is disingenuous. My 2c as a gay man that has many women as friends. They aren’t looking for “status” they are looking for someone who is emotionally intelligent. And thinking that gaining status is how to gain women is pretty much the opposite of that. Patriarchy hurts both sexes. By thinking of status and power as avenues to sex you stunt your ability to conn…

[deleted]

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#350

Post by Dalewyn »

9530jh9054ven wrote: post #305
lolsal wrote: post #248

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As food for thought: relationships are often greater than the sum of their parts. My tribe/community/circle enriches my life well beyond the experiences I could have by myself.

But there in lies the condition. You need to have a tribe/community/circle to take you in. There's going to be people for whom no community will accept them.

You forget people who neither need nor desire a community.

Mountain hermits exist, even if they don't live on mountains.

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