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Dating, education, and sex ratios

robkhenderson.com

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Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#191

Post by ryanwaggoner »

dnissley wrote: post #174
keiferski wrote: post #52

I read a book awhile ago called Shall the Religious Inherit the Earth? , which basically argues that cultures which strongly promote traditional values, having children, etc. will evolutionarily outcompete groups that don’t. It made me think that there must be a kind of cycle in human societies, where certain social values (like the ones mentioned in the article) are able to become popular for a short period of time…

I'm starting to view the relationship between the religious part of our society and the secular as being symbiotic in a sense. What makes people defect from religious communities on the border to secular centers? Some combination of money, freedom, and power (to participate in shaping the wider society at scale). The cost of that defection is an uprooting and disconnection from "traditional values". I'm not as certai…

I love this, but there's one thing I'd point out. With few exceptions, there's little defection from secular society into fundamentalist religious communities. Almost everyone in those communities was born there.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#192

Post by monksy »

magicalist wrote: post #183
monksy wrote: post #167

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is it overly dramatic to have HR dictate formally non-offensive speach? (I'm talking about non-derogatory and non-slur based language) Right now there is a wave of people that are upset over "violent language" ( https://hopeandsafety.org/learn-more/violent-language/ ) If push comes to shove.. they'd lose their marbles over that.

> Right now there is a wave of people that are upset over "violent language" There's absolutely nothing on that page to indicate they're upset about violent language > If push comes to shove.. they'd lose their marbles over that. There's even less indication of that. If the goal is for fewer people to overreact, why are we inventing boogeymen to overreact about?

That page is there making a statement of examples of "bad language". It's an organization shooting it's shot on language change.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11714189/Latest-phr... (DailyMail.. yuck yes)

https://www.fastcompany.com/90865534/its-time-stop-using-vio...

https://elizabethgrim.com/adopting-inclusive-and-non-violent...

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#193

Post by scarmig »

dingnuts wrote: post #144
scarmig wrote: post #139

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's interesting that future security, free time to spend with your partner and do housework, and hobbies don't count as something to offer (at least relative to a flashy lifestyle). But, yes, a guy needs to find an effective angle that's in demand on the relationship market.

Maybe y'all just need to appreciate the value of working class women? I married a child of immigrants who is thrifty, values experiences over things, works hard, and appreciates that we want to live modestly so we can be free to retire as soon as possible! Together seven years, married for three. Maybe when I was dating I was passed over by materialistic women because I drove an old car and don't wear fancy clothes,…

There's lots of luck involved, which is always missing from these conversations. I've taken a similar route to you, and it's working out spectacularly, but, damn, it took a long while.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#194

Post by pizzafeelsright »

ryanwaggoner wrote: post #156
Volundr wrote: post #151

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This anecdote is not only unverifiable (as most are), but vague to the point of uselessness. I don't doubt that there are all sorts of overzealous HR departments out there, but I can also think of all sorts of ways of using "respectable terms for another person" in disrespectful ways, and have met plenty of people far more creative than I am at doing so. And invariably these people will hide behind "I totally meant i…

In either case, it feels a little overly dramatic to worry too much about a scenario where HR asks you to not use a word anymore. Is this what people mean when they worry about people being cancelled?

Not cancelled per se, at least for me, but just the PITA equation of dealing with getting fired, having to find a new job, or having my language policed. Maybe that is being dramatic or pragmatic.

When it comes to my professional work - if apologizes are not accepted I will not work at the company. If there are words that I cannot say - I request a list. Thankfully my current company is great.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#195

Post by Animats »

keiferski wrote: post #52

I read a book awhile ago called Shall the Religious Inherit the Earth? , which basically argues that cultures which strongly promote traditional values, having children, etc. will evolutionarily outcompete groups that don’t. It made me think that there must be a kind of cycle in human societies, where certain social values (like the ones mentioned in the article) are able to become popular for a short period of time…

> I read a book awhile ago called Shall the Religious Inherit the Earth?, which basically argues that cultures which strongly promote traditional values, having children, etc. will evolutionarily out-compete groups that don’t.

That's happening in Israel, as the haredi out-breed the reform Jews and the seculars.[1] Religious societies that oppress women, breed lots of kids, and are dominated by old men in black with beards are a thing. That exists in Jewish, Islamic, and Christian forms, so it's independent of the brand of religion.

[1] https://www.jta.org/2021/03/10/israel/how-the-haredi-orthodo...

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#196

Post by Gibbon1 »

breischl wrote: post #137
rngname22 wrote: post #64

Conversations about high income as a factor in attracting women often seem to neglect to mention that it's not enough to have a high income if you don't use it to signal wealth or to provide luxury experiences to women. Telling women you want to put your high income to work in enabling you to retire early but live a modest life and use that freedom to pursue creative pursuits doesn't have the same effect as taking th…

You attract what you advertise for. If you're advertising flashy, high-spending lifestyle, that's who you'll attract. But the women who are looking for long-term stability will stay away. And vice versa. Of course, if you want the not-high-spending women, you need to have something other than money and flashy lifestyle to offer. I think some guys get hung up there.

Women don't want a guy that is always broke. And they don't want a miser either.

You want a signal that women will pick up on? Buy nice good quality shoes.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#198

Post by magicalist »

monksy wrote: post #192
magicalist wrote: post #183

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Right now there is a wave of people that are upset over "violent language" There's absolutely nothing on that page to indicate they're upset about violent language > If push comes to shove.. they'd lose their marbles over that. There's even less indication of that. If the goal is for fewer people to overreact, why are we inventing boogeymen to overreact about?

That page is there making a statement of examples of "bad language". It's an organization shooting it's shot on language change. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11714189/Latest-phr... (DailyMail.. yuck yes) https://www.fastcompany.com/90865534/its-time-stop-using-vio... https://elizabethgrim.com/adopting-inclusive-and-non-violent...

lol, again it's the dailymail article that's trembling with terror at imagined grievances, while the non-violent language advocates are like, "hey, kind of weird these phrases are about shooting people, here's some alternatives if you want them."

> The guide is for those who would like to replace mostly violently framed idioms with more positive and inclusive language

Clearly this is a dog whistle and they're coming for me and my guns(-related words)

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#199

Post by monksy »

Volundr wrote: post #180
monksy wrote: post #162

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've been in multiple organizations now that have the redefinition of whats appropriate. Many times there is training sourced from a third party company that does this. I've had one organization call the "confederate flag" a form of racism. (For those who haven't been in the US South for a long time, those who display it aren't racist, but many are)

> I've had one organization call the "confederate flag" a form of racism. Claiming it's not is not the hill I'd choose to die on. Modern display of what most call the "confederate flag" (it isn't) rose to prominence in response to the civil rights movement. It was a perfect example of hiding behind the thinnest veneer of legitimacy while attacking someone. I don't doubt that many in the modern day display it out of i…

> Claiming it's not is not the hill I'd choose to die on.

Me either, also I'm for banning all flags in the workplace.

But people who vastly generalize large swaths of the population in a negative light in an inaccurate manner is as bad.

> Modern display of what most call the "confederate flag" (it isn't) rose to prominence in response to the civil rights movement.

Growing up in the south the flag is used as an regional identification and lifestyle pride. (Mostly that you're a redneck, rebelious, you're going to own a pickup truck, like the idea of hardwork/farming, country music, etc). Making a claim that a race hate group has taken over the flag is pretty laughable. (About as much as the ok hand symbol being a "white nationalist flagging signal")

My concern with your statement is that you're making claims here and I'm not seeing a lot of evidence from a sociological point of view to back them up.

> many in the modern day display it out of ignorance,

Ask them why they choose to display it, and what it means to them. You made a judgement call to say what it is and that they're ignorant for doing so.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#200

Post by WastingMyTime89 »

While the article offers nothing of value outside of its provocative title (but I clicked so I guess it works), I’m genuinely fascinated by why every article about dating here leads to such a slew of poor comments. I mean the discussion is full of entitlement, misogyny, cynicism or a mix of the three.

A casual reading lends me to think that this is because this place skews rather young.

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