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Dating, education, and sex ratios

robkhenderson.com

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Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#231

Post by imtringued »

Conscat wrote: post #102
politician wrote: post #25

Towards the end, the article posits that the reason men fail to attain higher levels of education is video games. I would be curious to see how the effect of video games stacks up against the effect of the significant support industry established for helping girls succeed in STEM while comparable support for boys is nonexistent.

I doubt that matters. There were barely any women in my classes at a school with a mostly female student body. Now that I work in software, at a company which requires at least bachelor's degree, there are still very few women developers employed here.

I had like six girls in my classes at school. Less than a third.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#232

Post by lo_zamoyski »

friend_and_foe wrote: post #161

All the data is good, but the way it is framed is a bit misleading. First, lets get one thing straight: dysfunction in the dating world negatively affects both men and women. So framing it as "men floundering, women most affected" is disingenuous. What is it about the prospects a man has that he has no desire to become desirable? If men's lives are less rewarding wouldn't it be them, not the women, that are the most…

[flagged]

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#233

Post by itishappy »

dahwolf wrote: post #224
jiggawatts wrote: post #214

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> They aren’t looking for “status” they are looking for someone who is emotionally intelligent. That’s what they say , and that’s what women’s magazines have told them. Reality is the opposite, and has been demonstrated over and over both a scientifically and informally. Or to put it another way: the reason even the hottest 1% of women complain about men’s poor EQ is because they’re not optimising for it when choosin…

Not to mention that emotionally intelligent is somewhat of an insulting term. Men and women deal with and express emotions in radically different ways, that doesn't make one way more mature or intelligent.

Some people recognize that fact, some don't. Surely that disparity is itself an aspect of emotional intelligence?

I'm not sure I follow how that's insulting.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#234

Post by UncleMeat »

scarmig wrote: post #226
lostmsu wrote: post #221

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The study can not be accessed without payment, but if they did not correctly control for kids, it is useless.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6731029/ > Covariates. We control for covariates that are likely associated with both psychological distress and marital strain including respondent age, education, and employment status (Mirowsky & Ross, 2003), spouse health status (Kiecolt-Glaser & Wilson, 2017), relationship duration (Proulx et al., 2007), and children in household (Mirowsky & Schieman, 2008). So at lea…

This is my favorite kind of scientific criticism. People who can't even access a paper just saying "well I bet they didn't control for obvious thing X" and then moving on.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#235

Post by salmonfamine »

dang wrote: post #19
salmonfamine wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think this is a conversation worth having, but this is a tech news board. This isn't exactly on topic, and is guaranteed to be inflammatory.

HN isn't a tech news board - the site guidelines explicitly differentiate from that in the first paragraph: https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html . This article suffers from a baity title and sensational opening but then gets pretty substantive and, I think many readers would say, interesting. Topics like this have always appeared on HN and as long as (1) they don't come up so often as to feel repetitive a…

Fair points —- I agree that the article is actually quite well researched and to-the-point, once you get past the title.

I guess I just see this exact argument being made all over the place, so I’m a little weary of it. But this article is one of the best iterations of it that I’ve seen.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#236

Post by dahwolf »

redmerchant2 wrote: post #38

This is a known issue but the down stream effect won’t be felt for a while. Let’s be clear we’re talking about general behavioral trend, not trying to police an individual, which is the crux of contention for these topics. Many women still hold on to the idea of finding a partner that is wealthier and more educated. This is due to the past (over)reliance of their partners for stability. But this is no longer true. Th…

"Many women still hold on to the idea of finding a partner that is wealthier and more educated. This is due to the past (over)reliance of their partners for stability. But this is no longer true."

This independence remains to be seen. The assumption is that a higher education for women will structurally lead to complete financial independence across their life's path but I believe this to be a rosy view.

First, for all but the top 10%, the cost of living is so high that it almost requires a partner. There goes your independence.

Second, you have to make it to the end. Say you go at it alone, that means ~45 years of relentless full-time work, managing the 401K and nothing can happen under way, as there will be nobody to help. This is the existential stress that men have always faced in their provider role. The complete lack of optionality, zero tolerance for failure, and lack of any safety net. This is not to say that women can't handle this, I'm saying it remains to be seen.

Third, whilst women may be highly educated, a huge portion of them work in administrative functions, NGOs, the like. Fields that are very exposed to the swings of the economy.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#237

Post by dahwolf »

redmerchant2 wrote: post #38

This is a known issue but the down stream effect won’t be felt for a while. Let’s be clear we’re talking about general behavioral trend, not trying to police an individual, which is the crux of contention for these topics. Many women still hold on to the idea of finding a partner that is wealthier and more educated. This is due to the past (over)reliance of their partners for stability. But this is no longer true. Th…

Added bonus of selecting for the 0.01% of men: if you're extraordinarily lucky to secure him, you have a new problem: the man has options.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#238

Post by [deleted] »

ayemel wrote: post #225
almostnormal wrote: post #219

> A study led by economics researcher Brecht Neyt of Ghent University found that, on Tinder, women were 91 percent more likely to “like” a man with a master's degree compared with a bachelor's degree. The researchers used the same male profiles, the only difference was level of education. No ethics board in the economics department?

I’ll bite, what’s unethical here?

[deleted]

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#239

Post by dahwolf »

majormajor wrote: post #78
redmerchant2 wrote: post #38

This is a known issue but the down stream effect won’t be felt for a while. Let’s be clear we’re talking about general behavioral trend, not trying to police an individual, which is the crux of contention for these topics. Many women still hold on to the idea of finding a partner that is wealthier and more educated. This is due to the past (over)reliance of their partners for stability. But this is no longer true. Th…

> The education gap between men and women are growing. More women enroll and graduate from college then men. Many young men, mostly lower-middle class, (whether fairly or not) feel like the education system does not work for them. So, like, isn't the question "why"? Why do boys, particularly lower- or lower-middle class, not believe in the education system as much as their sisters? School sucks, work sucks, then you…

"It's sad an overachieving woman reaches the top and can't find the ideal person she had built up in her head"

If you're at the top, and select for men higher than that top, that's not sad. It's delusional. A 1%-er selecting for a 0.1%-er is the least of society's problems.

Re: Dating, education, and sex ratios

#240

Post by VirusNewbie »

timeagain wrote: post #206
friend_and_foe wrote: post #161

All the data is good, but the way it is framed is a bit misleading. First, lets get one thing straight: dysfunction in the dating world negatively affects both men and women. So framing it as "men floundering, women most affected" is disingenuous. What is it about the prospects a man has that he has no desire to become desirable? If men's lives are less rewarding wouldn't it be them, not the women, that are the most…

> So framing it as "men floundering, women most affected" is disingenuous. My 2c as a gay man that has many women as friends. They aren’t looking for “status” they are looking for someone who is emotionally intelligent. And thinking that gaining status is how to gain women is pretty much the opposite of that. Patriarchy hurts both sexes. By thinking of status and power as avenues to sex you stunt your ability to conn…

>They aren’t looking for “status”

Are you sure? Because multiple studies contradict that claim. I will point out that status can mean different things depending on the (sub)culture and context. Perhaps in some social circles, high EQ is high status.

>and it sets up a negative dynamic because if gaining power is the goal then having an egalitarian relationship with your lover is not possible.

Status is multifaceted. Women are attracted to status, but that doesn't mean women can't be high status as well. High status could be anything from being good at some niche hobby to making lots of money to being athletic.

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