101–110 of 418 posts
As advanced countries' systems for marriage and child-rearing continue to fail, there is a constant demand for cope. What if we learned to love being single? What if we substitute friendship for marriage? 64 ways to enjoy retirement on your own! This is the collective version of listening to an alcoholic explain why he doesn't have a problem.
US divorce rates are at a 50-year low.
I don't like anyone as much as I like my wife, straight up. It's incredible to have a partner that acts as my actual 'other half'. We are two sides of the same coin. It's an amazing thing. I can't, nor do I want to, get that close to other people.
That doesn't always happen though. I feel the most lonely when I'm alone with my wife. We can only have a back and forth conversation on topics that interest her, or the day to day of the house/kids, anything outside those things is just never discussed or is a one-way conversation that just dies. I was friendless and grew up with the same 15 boys until the end of highschool, never fit in. Married the first girl who…
"I'm most lonely when I'm alone with my wife" -- that is not healthy or good. I don't think your situation is applicable to the OP.
As a counter, I feel most comfortable when I am alone with my wife. She is my best friend.
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American perspective: the more affluent European cities that I've visited are full of young people that moved from halfway across the country or even other countries entirely in order to find better jobs. In the less affluent cities, people who are unable to move out often end up stuck and marginally employed. The idea of settling nearby with their high school friends doing mostly the same thing is an idealistic fant…
Anecdote but I have had the same friends since I was 4. Like kindergarten friends. I have new friends as well but my kindergarten friends know me even better than I know myself. It's awesome every time we hang out. We basically laugh at everything. We learned to laugh with each other and literally created each other's sense of humor and social personality. I honestly feel so lucky. One of them moved 6 hours away but…
I'm not in Silicon Valley, but I am in tech, and I notice myself slipping towards this as well. More and more, I find myself letting the current hot topic of the day run through my mind non-stop, over and over. I am unable to simply take a break from it all. I no longer have the patience to just sit on a deck for an hour with my own thoughts, I have to be reading news articles or learning a new skill or I feel like I am "wasting" my time.
I am envious of you and your kindergarten friends. Most of my high school and college friends have moved away, and I don't reach out to them enough.
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Traditional Catholicism. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church, and delivered himself up for it.” Doesn’t take more than a minute of reflection to figure out why we interpret it this way. Edit @avar to your question ("posting too fast"): https://gist.github.com/gjsman/d928b0db53cc2a4bacf37d4e45543...
I'm an atheist, but this is an honest question: does it? My understanding of catholic doctrine is that Jesus was part of the holy Trinity and knew it before he sacrificed himself. Therefore when he sacrificed himself for humanity he wasn't in the sort of personal danger or at risk of eternal damnation that a mere mortal in his shoes would be. I've always understood that as God making a grand gesture of some sort, not…
That would make his moment of sacrifice an entirely human experience. imo, that but was designed intentionally because Catholics believe that everyone is a somewhat lesser version of Jesus in that way. Everyone has "original sin" and conflicts and doubt, but can be saved by the intent which they live their lives, not mere acts.
You'll never be happier than the age 14-19 when you are with your mates on a daily basis. One solid block against the world.
Against the teacher, against the principal, against the bullies, scoring weed, scoring alchol, scoring pu*y , against everybody who wants to prevent you from scoring weed, alcohol and pu*y.
The problem is that this lifestyle is subsidized by parents who are the wage-slaves in the whole equation.
And also in this period the stuff is less important than the people you are experiencing it with, then growing up somehow it's the stuff which becomes the core of the effort. Placing too much attention on the stuff then makes you become a wage-slave and lose contact with your friends.
Marriage becomes something to alleviate the mysery not something done with enthusiasm
Comparing wife / husband to friends is like apples and pears. It's like asking which of your children you like the most. If friends complain about the time spent with your partner, ditch them and if your partner does the same about your friends, ditch them as well.
As advanced countries' systems for marriage and child-rearing continue to fail, there is a constant demand for cope. What if we learned to love being single? What if we substitute friendship for marriage? 64 ways to enjoy retirement on your own! This is the collective version of listening to an alcoholic explain why he doesn't have a problem.
> As advanced countries' systems for marriage and child-rearing continue to fail US divorce rates are at a 50-year low.
Friendship on the other hand feels important.
As June rolled around today, I was just reflecting on the history of sexuality, and the philosophical shift that has occurred relatively recently, from "lifestyle" to "orientation" to "identity" and all that comes with it. People in the past did not consider themselves to have sexual orientations, to be gay or straight or something else. Even someone who was committed to a same-sex romantic relationship wouldn't have…
It's interesting that you put the people with those "behaviors" or "passions" as the agents who have switched to "identity". In reality, it's the oppressors who "identified" them.
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Ha ... recently single with two young kids. I find it actually easier to raise them (admittedly only every other week). No more arguments about "who's turn is it to put them in bed", "why do I always have to do this" etc ... They may seem like simple questions that can easily be answered but it's really quite complex: "Had a tough day at work, could you do it?", which leads to score keeping and different views on wha…
As they age, you're going to find a whole different level of arguing about how to raise kids on an every-other-week rotation with conflicting influences/decisions. Trust me, I've seen it. It can work, but you're gonna need to put in some work on the relationship with the other parent to get through it and find decent compromises.