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Most young men are single. Most young women are not

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Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#291
post #2

We need to produce less children, so that trend is perfectly good, isn't it? And the younger the woman the better, isn't that an obvious? What about friendship between men, this is your personal choice. I have more than one really close friend and I can not see myself without that kind of relationship.

We do not need to produce less people.

If you don't produce more people, someone else will.

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#292

I sincerely believe that I am a respectful, reasonably attractive, healthy, financially successful and emotionally mature person. I found dating so hopelessly difficult in America, that I decided to literally learn another language and relocate to another country. I felt like I had no future in America because of that. The difference where I am now is night and day. I have had to decline more dates and advances, whic…

Just out of curiosity, which is the country you have relocated to that seems to be much better than the US for dating?

Not the OP but I relocated to Barcelona from New York City a year ago and my dating life has never been healthier or funner. Women here are the most open of anywhere I've been in the world. Now dating a young Russian artist who's very sweet and easygoing and I wish I'd moved here 4 years earlier.

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#293

I sincerely believe that I am a respectful, reasonably attractive, healthy, financially successful and emotionally mature person. I found dating so hopelessly difficult in America, that I decided to literally learn another language and relocate to another country. I felt like I had no future in America because of that. The difference where I am now is night and day. I have had to decline more dates and advances, whic…

Are you a man or woman? Are you trying to date women? The implication is that you're a guy after girls, but that's not clear and I'm not sure what to take from that. And did you explain anything about why it is toxic , just a reflexive "it's bad mmmmmkay" and that you left -- but you didn't say what you went looking for, or what you found, and why it's better. Furthermore there is the "[probably rich] guy in a foreig…

>Nor did you explain why, despite having a ton of female friends who stayed at your house, you weren't able to turn those into romantic options.

How is he supposed to answer that? The only way to get a definitive answer for your question is to find all the female friends, then arrest them and interrogate them for a week or so (to ensure they give honest answers). Assuming OP was actually interested in some of these women, it's very likely he doesn't know why they weren't interested, and normally people don't give honest answers about why they're not interested in being more than friends with someone, to avoid hurt feelings.

What really galls me about these comments is that many people here, including you, seem to completely not understand that different countries have different cultures, and what things are considered attractive traits in romantic partners differ greatly from place to place. People are NOT the same in different parts of the world.

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#294

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is absolutely value in long term monogamous relationships. So much value you cannot see it from the inside. It's someone to 'show off' to, and to work for, and to- ineffectively- try to impress. And that matters far, far more than you'd think. It staves off the most brutal of existential crises.

I think this is a fallacy, the expected value of most monogamous relationships is zero or microscopic - most fail, many have negative value (abuse, homicide, mental illness), etc - so in some ways it's like playing the lottery. A tax on the romantically challenged :) Again, I say this as a proud and happy husband of 19 years!

>Again, I say this as a proud and happy husband of 19 years!

Yeah, you basically won the lottery. For every one of you, there's a bunch of people who lost the relationship lottery: divorce, abuse, etc. The odds really aren't in one's favor.

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#295

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You think the disparity is more accounted for by the numeric difference between multiple-dating men and multiple-dating women, rather than by women dating men who are older than themselves?

Not just "think", it's a fact that same study shows: if that was the way you are putting it, in the upper age cohort, fraction of single men would be smaller than single women: men would be with young girls and dump women of same age as themselves. But it's not the case, because percentage of single men is higher in any age cohort under 65 (then, there are more single women simply because men die at earlier age). htt…

Isn't single parenthood already "normalized"? In the US at least, it's extremely common. Of course, it's also extremely difficult for the mother; I can't imagine why anyone would willingly choose it unless she was independently wealthy and could hire caretakers.

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#296

I think what lots of people miss is the complementarity of relationships. You have to always ask yourself - what am I bringing to the table to a relationship? This is why status is a universally attractive quality. No matter what the circumstances, if someone dates someone of a high status, it elevates the dater's status as well. Basically, someone wants to go to their friends, mention who they are dating, and wants…

>No matter what the circumstances, if someone dates someone of a high status, it elevates the dater's status as well.

And what makes a man "high status" varies greatly by culture. In American culture, being an engineer is just above being a janitor as far as women are concerned, and being a SWE is a little above that only because it's become common knowledge how well they're paid. Meanwhile, being a doctor or lawyer has FAR higher status, as does being an "influencer".

In Asian cultures, this is entirely different.

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#297

"Even seasoned researchers struggle to fully account for the relationship gap between young women and men: If single young men outnumber single young women nearly two to one, then who are all the young women dating?" Older men. The article even notes that's a trend that's been increasing in the past 100 years. There's also been a rise in women who aren't attracted to men. It's likely always been the case that a not i…

I think it's a bit more than that: the Kinsey Scale exists because many people (probably most really) are somewhere in-between, even if they have a strong preference for one sex or the other. A large number of women have probably always had bisexual tendencies, but these days with the impediments removed, they can more freely choose to explore their same-sex attraction and relationships with other women. After a few bad relationships with men, many have probably decided to only pursue relationships with women in fact. And why not? Women are generally more attractive (really attractive men are somewhat rare, but it's not as hard for most women to look nice), smell nice, are far less prone to violence, and these days generally have more education and better careers. They also are much better at being emotionally supportive in friendships/relationships and not depending on their partner to be a full-time therapist. As a bonus, they can even share clothes!

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#298

I sincerely believe that I am a respectful, reasonably attractive, healthy, financially successful and emotionally mature person. I found dating so hopelessly difficult in America, that I decided to literally learn another language and relocate to another country. I felt like I had no future in America because of that. The difference where I am now is night and day. I have had to decline more dates and advances, whic…

There are so many people looking for respectful, reasonably attractive, healthy, financially successful and emotionally mature men. My guess is that your approach is the problem. Perhaps you don't go to the right places, or strike conversations with the right people (e.g. women too young or immature to recognize emotionally mature men). Maybe you should work on improving your social skills. Or maybe your self-percept…

>There are so many people looking for respectful, reasonably attractive, healthy, financially successful and emotionally mature men.

In what region?

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#299
post #156

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you get killed, all your sorrows go away. And as weaklings get more likely killed, the species evolves in a positive way. So it is a win-win-win strategy.

the undrafted men, and thus most likely survivors, were largely ones who failed to meet minimum physical standards of the military, so not sure on that last point

Source?

And do not take the word 'weakling' too narrow. Weak mind, weak immune system,... have of course its influence on survival probability.

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#300
post #217

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think this article is somewhat of a relief to myself. It always felt like the majority of women I talked to casually mentioned they are in a relationship before my interest further peaked. At least it's not just thinking it's a coincidence that the majority that I talk to are taken, it's statistical lol.

Women are not objects to be owned. Even if she's in a relationship she might be unhappy with it and open to other options. Just don't be creepy or aggressive about it. To use an analogy, hiring managers are allowed to offer you a job even if you already have a job. They're not obligated to wait until you're unemployed.

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