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Why are so many young men single and sexless?

psychologytoday.com

191–200 of 230 posts

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#191
post #141
post #84

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I find it funny as well. I guess sex can be considered a human right in a certain way: no third party should be able to stop a consenting group of people to having sex. While this is the wrong definition: another person should have sex with me. This latter definition often seems to be the taken meaning of "sex is a human right" and seems to be interpreted that way to advance the interest of that particular person say…

I think that kind of understanding of “sex is a human right” is one step away from “woman is an object/a service”. And also this “human right” is usually applied to men, but not women. What about woman’s right to have a very attractive sexual partner? Now if have two rights simultaneously, you have a contradiction.

Agree 100%!

I was quite taken aback by the "Does that logic work for Blacks for instance ?" that started this above but then thought that instead of getting angry why not attempt to get my argumentation straightened out instead :).

As you say, that way of thinking makes women literally into less than even a service: for a service you at least need to pay for; a human right on the other hand (right to live, express yourself, freedom of speech etc) is normatively free. The fact that these women who somehow must sleep with you have rights too doesn't seem to occur to these people at all..

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#192
post #145

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We must be talking to a different 60% or have different opinions on what constitutes abuse then. Andrew Tate is plenty popular with a certain subset of boys.

You're likely taking symptom for cause. Andrew Tate is the reaction to what's happening. For some people, radicalization is the response to rejection, not just by women, but by society. That's what you're seeing with those kinds of grifters who tap into that.

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Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#193
post #189

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What an absurdly sexist take, maybe women want to be with someone who is (actually, not 'nice guy') nice and doesn't think that money will get them laid?

It's not sexist. It's a statistical observation about human behavior. Sure, there may be females that are just looking for a male who is nice. But in general they are looking for a male who is nice and good looking and has high societal status. Just as males are looking for females that are good looking and fertile. That's what all animals do. They try to maximize their reproductive success. Humans are animals. And e…

What you're completely disregarding is the fact that nice males make for good fathers and helpful partners which is highly valuable. Your simplistic view on behavior results in a completely misunderstood and sexist viewpoint which only serves to reinforce patriarchal social constructs

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#194

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Stop, just stop. That Rasmussen poll is a loaded question framed to make black people appear unreasonable and work up a racist right wing base. It worked Scott Adams up so much he went on a racist tirade and got himself fired. "It's okay to be white" is a slogan historically used by alt-right trolls, the KKK, and miscellaneous Nazi groups. Obviously when polled about overtly racist slogans black people are going to t…

Fair enough, but then Scott Adams should have also been given the benefit of the doubt since he is a comic by trade. Hence I don't agree with the firing, especially since it was the Dilbert Principle that helped me finally understand everything that I needed to know about how corporate America really works.

Scott Adams is jerk who no one wants to work with. I don't care if he's a plumber, a cartoonist, or a garbage man. Finding a job, and people who want to work with him is his problem.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#195
I like to think that I'm not too trapped in my own bubble, but then an article like this comes along and I read the aggregated comments[1], and I realize how small my own field of view of society actually is.

[1]: https://kulli.sh/search?q=https://www.psychologytoday.com/in...

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#197
post #187

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And highly developed, must-participate-in social media sites. Cameras ain't jack if there isn't a way to share the footage. Then there is a Me-Too thing, which has led to a lot of younger women being very sensitive about real or perceived aggressions from men. Perhaps justified, but now it means a small misstep or failure to walk the line can be costly in a social sense. Young dude doesn't really know how to interact…

A good theory, but it doesn't quite explain my observation. What I described is a phenomenom that includes all students regardless of gender. If it was as you said I'd expect noticeble differences between the behavior of male and female students. As someone who teaches at university I definitly get to interact with young women often and I have never once felt the sensitivity you described either towards myself (male)…

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Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#198
post #16

I mean one sure way not to have sex with someone else is to never expose yourself to situations that could lead to such a thing. As an educator I have to say that over my career there was a noticable shift in how students behave. The students I have today are more shy, more careful and more risk averse than students 4 years ago. I could imagine that many of them would just decide to not bother at all until luck falls…

Your observation that younger generations (male and female alike) are more cautious and less likely to take risks is strongly backed up by data. All forms of risky behavior–from sex to drug use and even driving fast—are down among teens. https://psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/2018-40992-001.html

As another supporting example: I'm a gay man in his late 20s, and because of Grindr I often virtually encounter a lot of early 20s and late teens people (cis and trans alike) starting to explore their sexuality through the LGBT version of hookup and dating apps. Guys under 25 are significantly more cautious and shy in how they present themselves and talk, which is surprising to me since I live in a progressive area where there are fewer social anxieties about being LGBT. Even literally in a gay sex club, I've seen younger guys are super super shy about hitting on anyone.

Something about digital media, lack of real life social interaction, and increased pressure on young people is creating a generation of anxious, shy, depressive people, and it's not because of problems uniquely between straight men and women.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#199
post #158

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All the kids spend too much time online, so I'm not sure casting shade at them really gets us anywhere. If that's not the case for your kids, I'd love to hear how you're getting that to work. If you're not talking to boys about Andrew Tate because it hasn't come up (because it would be too cringe, as the kids say), don't worry, YouTube (reposts) have got you covered.

> All the kids spend too much time online, so I'm not sure casting shade at them really gets us anywhere. I'm not sure what you're talking about here. If anything I was "casting shade" at you for your remark about how terrible young men are. You're the one defending someone calling them "nasty/abusive/uninteresting/unintelligent/ugly". > If you're not talking to boys about Andrew Tate because it hasn't come up (becau…

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Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#200

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Deciding who to have sex with is definitely a form of discrimination. For many, it can even be racial, religious, etc. We as a society have determined that it is okay to discriminate based on personal tastes when it comes to sex. That's not obvious though. One could imagine a society where we deem it okay to discriminate on those things when providing employment, but not when having sex. As much as we want to believe…

The word "discrimination" has two meanings. > 1. the unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people, especially on the grounds of ethnicity, age, sex, or disability. > 2. recognition and understanding of the difference between one thing and another. > Deciding who to have sex with is definitely a form of discrimination. It's definitely discrimination in the sense of (2). But that doesn't seem to ha…

Just vs. unjust is what captures the social construct part. How do you decide what is just vs. unjust? You either poll society as whole, the elites of the society, or the monarchy, depending on the type of government.
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