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Why are so many young men single and sexless?

psychologytoday.com

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Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#121

Post by bradlys »

NalNezumi wrote: post #47

The article comes off as slightly condescending; even as I'm 32 and just above the "Young men" threshold ( Some of the thing mentioned, such as young women not looking for emotional attachment as much might be true, but what about >30 women? My early 20s, online dating era romantic life was miserable; it made me feel completely worthless and that's a sentiment A LOT of young men get from those dating apps. I simply g…

> So suddenly (assuming you've put some work in) the dating (and sex) life becomes a balanced game.

My personal experience and the experience of men I know is that this is not how it turns out.

If you were never attractive before to women, you don't suddenly become attractive to them when you're older. Just because you hit staff and make $500k/yr doesn't mean they want to be with you. Just because you have built up incredible emotional maturity, stability, and intellect doesn't mean someone wants to be with you. End of the day - whether or not they find you physically attractive is the most important thing above all - it's the bare minimum to start an interaction (especially with online but more and more true with in person these days too).

This idea that average looking guys just needed to hit 30 before they got to date all the hot 20-somethings is so farfetched and delusional. It's often spoken by men who were rich, physically attractive, and had great social networks but had severe social anxiety and learned later in life how to lessen their social anxiety. Once they did that - wow - suddenly they're having sex with lots of women... Surprise, women were always interested in you, you just never took it further because you had social anxiety.

Lots of men don't have social anxiety but are just fuggos. They're not gonna have stuff change when they get older short of doing significant cosmetic surgery. Which, again, is not related to age but more related to getting cosmetic surgery done. You can do that when you're 18 and not wait until you're 30.

Look at the tiktok shit that's going on. Women have increasingly deluded sense of what men and women should look like. Social media and casual access to the top physically attractive men has completely distorted how the sexual marketplace is working. It's leaving a lot of people lonely and a lot of people very bitter.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#122

Post by giardini »

geysersam wrote: post #75
icare_1er wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Does that logic work for Blacks for instance ?

If you want something that you have a right to, other people have to change. Not being discriminated is not a "nice to have", it's a human right. Sex with attractive women on the other hand is definitely not a human right. Is it just me who finds it ridiculous that this has to be spelled out?

Woo-hoo! My long-term sexbot investments are going to pay off like Bitcoin once did, beaucoup!

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#123

Post by kingstoned »

bradlys wrote: post #121
NalNezumi wrote: post #47

The article comes off as slightly condescending; even as I'm 32 and just above the "Young men" threshold ( Some of the thing mentioned, such as young women not looking for emotional attachment as much might be true, but what about >30 women? My early 20s, online dating era romantic life was miserable; it made me feel completely worthless and that's a sentiment A LOT of young men get from those dating apps. I simply g…

> So suddenly (assuming you've put some work in) the dating (and sex) life becomes a balanced game. My personal experience and the experience of men I know is that this is not how it turns out. If you were never attractive before to women, you don't suddenly become attractive to them when you're older. Just because you hit staff and make $500k/yr doesn't mean they want to be with you. Just because you have built up i…

True. In developed, rich countries with welfare state and feminism, women don't need individual men. Instead, they can rely on government and corporations to be their protector & provider. When ecological pressures are relaxed, sexual selection (i.e. looks) becomes the dominant factor in mate selection.

I suggest you read this blog:

https://sirtyrionlannister.wordpress.com/2014/03/21/how-the-...

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#124

Post by Tonantzintla618 »

igetspam wrote: post #77
PedroBatista wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That’s a hell of an assumption. My informed guess is once you scratch off the Instagram paint it’s an absolute disaster too.

Many studies disagree with you thought. Here's one article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/why-bad-looks-good/2... Single women, it turns out, are the happiest. And then single women with kids. Men have to change or we'll become obsolete. Our UX, in general, is bad.

I see this study brought up a lot, there's actually an interesting misconception that the researcher Paul Dolan failed to admit which corrupted the study. He cited the American Time Use Survey on the survey's data point of "Spouse absent", but he interpreted the meaning of the point as "spouse left the room and subject will be honest about their feelings" versus "subject is divorced or separated from the spouse". As you can imagine, this wildly changes the reason of why women are unhappy.

https://www.vox.com/future-perfect/2019/6/4/18650969/married...

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#125

Post by jonfromsf »

red-iron-pine wrote: post #120
igetspam wrote: post #99

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Prostitution is high risk and expensive. Porn is zero risk and basically free because we all have Internet access already. Porn is not the problem but it is a serious crutch for those unwilling to address the actual problem, which is generations of teaching men and boys that intimacy isn't important. I have male friends I hug and cry with. I have deep feelings of loss for my pet pig, who challenged my world view on "…

> Prostitution is high risk and expensive Only where it is illegal. Plenty of legal countries with rules & regs regarding behavior, STD testing, protection, etc. > I have male friends I hug and cry with. I have deep feelings of loss for my pet pig, who challenged my world view on "love animals" and made me rethink how and what I eat. I have a successful marriage with a wonderful, intelligent, beautiful women because…

Because the best sex toys for men are prostate vibrators.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#126

Post by amriksohata »

Because men have easy access to porn, the one thing that helps satisfy one of their core needs without having to pay for a new pair of jeans or meal to take a girl out. Society also expects mean to take up more of what women were expected to do 50-100 years ago, they don't want all that when they can cook on their own and still have their remaining needs met at low cost, low effort.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#127

Post by giraffe_lady »

kingstoned wrote: post #104
geysersam wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you want something that you have a right to, other people have to change. Not being discriminated is not a "nice to have", it's a human right. Sex with attractive women on the other hand is definitely not a human right. Is it just me who finds it ridiculous that this has to be spelled out?

Healthcare services are a right in many countries. Sex can be put in a similar category. Just like lacking access to healthcare can lower the quality of your life, so can being alone and sexless. Healthcare services are a very intimate activity as well. It's like saying that healthcare access with attractive nurses is not a right. It's not, but healthcare in many countries is a right.

If having sex is a right, who are you proposing they have it with. How do we ensure that someone is available for that? What about their right to not participate?

This elision speaks VOLUMES.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#128

Post by [deleted] »

bradlys wrote: post #121
NalNezumi wrote: post #47

The article comes off as slightly condescending; even as I'm 32 and just above the "Young men" threshold ( Some of the thing mentioned, such as young women not looking for emotional attachment as much might be true, but what about >30 women? My early 20s, online dating era romantic life was miserable; it made me feel completely worthless and that's a sentiment A LOT of young men get from those dating apps. I simply g…

> So suddenly (assuming you've put some work in) the dating (and sex) life becomes a balanced game. My personal experience and the experience of men I know is that this is not how it turns out. If you were never attractive before to women, you don't suddenly become attractive to them when you're older. Just because you hit staff and make $500k/yr doesn't mean they want to be with you. Just because you have built up i…

[deleted]

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#130

Post by kevviiinn »

kingstoned wrote: post #123
bradlys wrote: post #121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> So suddenly (assuming you've put some work in) the dating (and sex) life becomes a balanced game. My personal experience and the experience of men I know is that this is not how it turns out. If you were never attractive before to women, you don't suddenly become attractive to them when you're older. Just because you hit staff and make $500k/yr doesn't mean they want to be with you. Just because you have built up i…

True. In developed, rich countries with welfare state and feminism, women don't need individual men. Instead, they can rely on government and corporations to be their protector & provider. When ecological pressures are relaxed, sexual selection (i.e. looks) becomes the dominant factor in mate selection. I suggest you read this blog: https://sirtyrionlannister.wordpress.com/2014/03/21/how-the-...

What an absurdly sexist take, maybe women want to be with someone who is (actually, not 'nice guy') nice and doesn't think that money will get them laid?
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