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Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

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Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#91

Post by cjbgkagh »

ldjkfkdsjnv wrote: post #17

Will probably get downvoted for this. But I'm a very conventionally attractive guy with a good job in a major US city. I basically have an unlimited stream of dates through dating apps from women of all walks of life. Upwards of 20 - 50 matches a day if I really push it. People already know this, but I dont think they know how bad the schew is. Every young single woman is chasing the same few men and they dont care i…

What they do is lie about their age and keep trying. I’ve went on a few dates where women were clearly 10 years older than stated and pictured in the dating app.

I think the focus is on men due to the concern of the collateral damage of incel violence and it ignores the individual plights of the men and women. If women were similarly violent maybe more people would notice their problems too. Instead they just get some cats and quietly disappear.

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#92

Post by Beaver117 »

mrphoebs wrote: post #78
csomar wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's only controversial in the US. Sex work is a legitimate job. We are selling our brain time on a daily basis to employer. Someone else is selling labor and cleaning the sewers. It's exactly the same thing unless you have a religious agenda.

No it's not, it might be acceptable in a few societies but in a vast majority of societies across the globe sex work is both frowned upon and illegal. You are naive if you think all prostitutes are willing participants that chose this as a career. Across the world forced prostitution/sex work is fuelled by human trafficking of women and minors. In an ideal world human beings should be free to make their own choices b…

In terms of legality, well drugs are illegal too and they're still widely used and somewhat frowned upon in the US.

Morally, it's up to you but the human trafficking numbers are larely exaggerated and most participants are willing.

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#93

Post by than3 »

klipt wrote: post #30
forgetfreeman wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You literally just described the Amish.

With their much higher fertility rate, Amish society will probably outlast ours.

I agree.

The more I read history, the more I realize most of the problems we have today are not new problems.

For example, in 1778, it was expected that you had to have 4 children to have one live to 18 (with medical science being what it was). We saw a 40% increase in all deaths in actuarial data during the pandemic which could align with degradation of services during that time.

In 1778, wages could never be lower than what it cost to feed and raise yourself and your children.

With the introduction of personal household debt and fiat currency, the guardrails were removed.

Business stopped having an incentive to pay fair wages when they were allowed to concentrate, and make more money through influential connections and shoddy financial engineering backed by a printing press.

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#94

Post by sshine »

throwaway892238 wrote: post #53
ldjkfkdsjnv wrote: post #17

Will probably get downvoted for this. But I'm a very conventionally attractive guy with a good job in a major US city. I basically have an unlimited stream of dates through dating apps from women of all walks of life. Upwards of 20 - 50 matches a day if I really push it. People already know this, but I dont think they know how bad the schew is. Every young single woman is chasing the same few men and they dont care i…

I used to get laid a lot from Tinder because I figured out how to game the system. But at some point I realized I didn't actually like the people I was scoring with; yeah maybe they were attractive and we had some basic things in common. But I didn't really want to hang out with them or talk to them. Eventually I realized I was just trying to get laid, or seem appealing/attractive. When I looked at what I was doing,…

> When I looked at what I was doing, what I was changing about myself, just to get laid, I realized that wasn't the authentic me.

I can relate. I changed myself to become more conventionally attractive, got a lot of attention, got into a relationship with a beatiful woman who, once she found out who I was, didn’t like it all that much. Made me realise how important it is to be very evident about your personality and not try to be someone likeable.

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#95

Post by dorkwood »

operatingthetan wrote: post #52
dorkwood wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I thought I was a fairly attractive guy. I’ve had interest from attractive women in the past. On dating apps though? Crickets. I’ve had several friends vet my profile (who were quite brutal with their feedback, too) but I still only average around 1 match per week. If I’m supposed to be a somewhat attractive guy, I can imagine the vast majority of men must be getting no interest at all.

I think the poster above you seems to have factors related to their appeal that they aren't considering and thus are improperly generalizing their experience. E.g. they have finely tuned tinder game. That doesn't in any way support the idea that women are only attracted to a small subset of men. That's an idea taken literally from the incel crowd.

> That doesn't in any way support the idea that women are only attracted to a small subset of men. That's an idea taken literally from the incel crowd.

Well, to be fair, that’s not exactly what I was saying. Despite replying to that poster, I was half echoing Scott Galloway’s comment that on dating apps the top 20% of attractive men get 60% of the interest. I didn’t check his sources, but it doesn’t seem like an unrealistic assertion to me, or a belief that only someone with a twisted world view might have, as you seem to be implying.

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#96

Post by _siis »

amir734jj wrote: post #36
barelyauser wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It is pretty simple. Either they will be single forever or find a sucker to marry them. These women are unrealistic. As they get older their requirements for a man go up instead of going down. They think a man with wealth and options is going to choose them instead of a younger woman. It is pretty sad really.

> their requirements Bingo. That's the sad reality unfortunately. Everyone wants a prince charming but at the end of the day men are busy and would rather live alone than be involved in drama

Unfortunately, but its a bit deeper than that basic characterization allows.

There are a lot of confounding factors, from the lack of actual role models, subversive propaganda, poor parenting, and the effects of education, to the debt saddled on you at a time in your life where you are especially vulnerable as you become independent.

There was an interesting set of statistics out of Scandinavia, I think it was, that seemed to suggest that women with high levels of education rarely selected mates who were not at least as educated as they were. Women generally as a cohort don't date down.

Some common things that often get ignored are:

If women don't have babies by 35, risk of complications and death go up drastically.

If men or women aren't debt free with a down payment for a house by 30, they often won't get married (because of the debt), or if they do, they won't have children.

The issue is a societal one where commonplace norms weren't propagated for the most part by the boomer generation and the survivors who have been tied down in red tape unable to move are the people left to pick up the pieces.

That of course assumes someone at the top chooses not to end everything in a glorious final confrontation by escalating existential threats. Not good times.

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#97

Post by consilient »

causticthrow wrote: post #67
DoreenMichele wrote: post #60

Earlier quoted context omitted.

First, realize that women are just people too and "ninety percent of everything is crap." If you do wish to marry and settle down, you need only ONE good woman and you need to NOT crap all over her the minute you meet her because of baggage. 1. Very beautiful women sometimes set up dating profiles with no photos or take other measures to attract men for reasons other than how photogenic they are. 2. Hobbies are a goo…

Hey Doreen - hope you’re doing better. 1. I haven’t done online dating at all. What I’ve seen in real life is hit and miss. I know too much of the corporate world. Marital affairs, sleeping for promotions, sex parties with upper management/C-levels, you name it. 2. I have hobbies in the arts where I excel, am recognized, and there are lots of women. 3. My closest friends are hardcore players which doesn’t help. While…

> Rebuilding trust when I’m surrounded by what I equate to vipers isn’t a matter of finding someone good.

So stop surrounding yourself with vipers. The C-suite isn't "real life", it's one very narrow and very highly selected slice of it. If you want to avoid ruthless social climbers, almost any other environment would be a better bet.

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#99

Post by number6 »

thunderbong wrote: post #73
csomar wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's only controversial in the US. Sex work is a legitimate job. We are selling our brain time on a daily basis to employer. Someone else is selling labor and cleaning the sewers. It's exactly the same thing unless you have a religious agenda.

Only if there's a legal framework which is followed and enforced to prevent exploitation.

Same for all other kinds of work.

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#100

Post by laserdancepony »

throwaway892238 wrote: post #77
barelyauser wrote: post #18

As an asian man who has traveled to LATAM and the US, I am not surprised. American women are super entitled, hard to approach and borderline delusional when selecting men. It is never enough for them. They are hard to approach, judgy and sincerely just a pain in the ass. Women in LATAM for example are a thousand times sweeter, more feminine and approachable.

Women in LATAM are also much more likely to get a boob job as teenagers (it was so common that until a law was passed preventing it, 30 percent of plastic surgeries in Colombia were on underage girls). LATAM cultures are in some ways more warm and welcoming, but in other ways more regressive/toxic, such as their gender roles and sexuality. Seems great to you because you're benefiting from it, but American women proba…

> 'but in other ways more regressive/toxic, such as their gender roles and sexuality.'

Have you ever entertained the idea that _that_ US mindset might be part of the problem?

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