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Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

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Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#31

Post by barelyauser »

ldjkfkdsjnv wrote: post #17

Will probably get downvoted for this. But I'm a very conventionally attractive guy with a good job in a major US city. I basically have an unlimited stream of dates through dating apps from women of all walks of life. Upwards of 20 - 50 matches a day if I really push it. People already know this, but I dont think they know how bad the schew is. Every young single woman is chasing the same few men and they dont care i…

It is pretty simple. Either they will be single forever or find a sucker to marry them.

These women are unrealistic. As they get older their requirements for a man go up instead of going down. They think a man with wealth and options is going to choose them instead of a younger woman. It is pretty sad really.

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#32

Post by anovikov »

granshaw wrote: post #5
uptownfunk wrote: post #2

Really troubling statistics if true. I suspect the lockdown has exacerbated this. Frankly I worry for my own young children. I almost wish there was a place to live where there was little to no social media, no chronic cell phone addiction, people out in nature, together, socializing, cooperating.

Not a comfortable thing to say, but this is one reason I’m glad my kid is a daughter and not a son If the dating game is already like this now, it’s scary thinking about how it’ll be 18 years from now

But well, for a son it will mean "having a hard time getting laid" (which is a good thing for a man because it gives motivation to achieve things). For a woman it means "being utterly unable to get married unless they sign for a man who is considered undateable/invisible and a shame be next to from the standpoint of 95% of their women peers". That is, average man, for an average woman.

A man can be hooking up with many girls but he can only marry one at a time. Which means, it's a double-edged sword: Tinder raised standards of what an acceptable male looks like, making it equally harder for men to get laid as for women to get married.

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#33

Post by csomar »

barelyauser wrote: post #18

As an asian man who has traveled to LATAM and the US, I am not surprised. American women are super entitled, hard to approach and borderline delusional when selecting men. It is never enough for them. They are hard to approach, judgy and sincerely just a pain in the ass. Women in LATAM for example are a thousand times sweeter, more feminine and approachable.

I think this will come down to personal preference. For me these sweet feminine woman are annoying as hell and they have expectations that you'll take care of things. I'll take the independent American or west European woman any time of the day.

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#34

Post by causticthrow »

Throwaway. I’m looking for advice.

I live in a decently big city, I make very good money - close to 200k which is far above what most people here pull in. Lead teams of people. Am in mid 30s, well over 6ft. White. My (few) sexual partners couldn’t get enough. I work out with a generous physique, get compliments that I can’t even accept these days.

I’m extremely jaded. I stopped talking/interacting and even making eye contact with women despite working in an industry essentially dominated by them. I’m not sure what to do because the idea that a few men are getting all the women does not sit well with me at all. Even if I could be one of them, to me it’s a society-ruining move and I can’t in good faith participate.

So I feel disgust and this disgust is turning me into a misogynist.

I’d like to hear some thoughts as to how to get out of this rut and interact with women again without feeling like I’m being used, and that the average man out there can only dream of being in my position as he faces insurmountable rejection and will also be used in a far worse way than me. It just sounds like a kick in the balls.

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#35

Post by mettamage »

ldjkfkdsjnv wrote: post #17

Will probably get downvoted for this. But I'm a very conventionally attractive guy with a good job in a major US city. I basically have an unlimited stream of dates through dating apps from women of all walks of life. Upwards of 20 - 50 matches a day if I really push it. People already know this, but I dont think they know how bad the schew is. Every young single woman is chasing the same few men and they dont care i…

I’m a 6 out of 10 at best in looks (aka average). I got 1 match per month. By hacking Tinder (took 50 to 100 hours to figure it out what works for me), I got 100 to 150 matches per month. Sure, you could have an even crazier dating life than I would have, but I am super happy with this and might have found a GF through it (too early to tell but one might have that potential). It took 6 months. Over the past 10 years I have been single for 10 months in total (3 long-term relationships).

So yes, again, that’s a far cry from what you get, but I have about one epic romantic encounter per three months and could have sex once per month by women I’d find attractive. So 33% of my bed partners are experienced as epic.

So yea, this is what happens when you don’t accept your fate and rebel against it: a dating life that I am happy with.

Conventional attractive guys have it way easier than I do, I am forced to build character by taking charge of my dating life and hacking it. That’s a fine trade-off by me. It’s also a forced trade-off, c’est la vie.

The real tough part was age 17 to 21. It took 4 years of active social skills improvement and self-improvement to lose my virginity to a woman that I would find attractive. For the first 3 years I wasn’t even able to kiss a girl. I was in the category: get laid or die trying (dramatizing here: I mean find a GF that I am happy with and she with me, the die trying part is accurate). I should have been an incel, really. But I refused and after 3 years enough clicked to make the topic of dating workable. It was very hard, but I came from the difficulty level called: it’s impossible. So very hard mode was an easy mode for me by that time

Anyone feeling stuck, feel free to email (in my profile). I don’t check it often but I know the pain and if I can help, I will

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#36

Post by amir734jj »

barelyauser wrote: post #31
ldjkfkdsjnv wrote: post #17

Will probably get downvoted for this. But I'm a very conventionally attractive guy with a good job in a major US city. I basically have an unlimited stream of dates through dating apps from women of all walks of life. Upwards of 20 - 50 matches a day if I really push it. People already know this, but I dont think they know how bad the schew is. Every young single woman is chasing the same few men and they dont care i…

It is pretty simple. Either they will be single forever or find a sucker to marry them. These women are unrealistic. As they get older their requirements for a man go up instead of going down. They think a man with wealth and options is going to choose them instead of a younger woman. It is pretty sad really.

> their requirements

Bingo. That's the sad reality unfortunately. Everyone wants a prince charming but at the end of the day men are busy and would rather live alone than be involved in drama

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#37

Post by JesusLovesEwe »

kevin_thibedeau wrote: post #19
nicenewtemp84 wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Take it from a serial dater male with great success on tinder/bumble.. the lives of many women is substantially worse than even guys that can't get a date. Unless you do a great job explaining the purpose of dating (courting?), There is a very high chance she'll simply become the temporary play thing of dozens of men. And being smart and well educated seems to have basically little to do with it.. I know many more ma…

> become the temporary play thing of dozens of men That's a natural result of only selecting for the 20% who know they can play the field. The "I deserve a tall handsome prince with a high income" types are all in competition with each other for a limited resource. Men aren't to blame for that.

[flagged]

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#38

Post by willis936 »

DoreenMichele wrote: post #20
ldjkfkdsjnv wrote: post #17

Will probably get downvoted for this. But I'm a very conventionally attractive guy with a good job in a major US city. I basically have an unlimited stream of dates through dating apps from women of all walks of life. Upwards of 20 - 50 matches a day if I really push it. People already know this, but I dont think they know how bad the schew is. Every young single woman is chasing the same few men and they dont care i…

There's an old joke -- or perhaps humorous observation -- that men want to be the first person a woman sleeps with and women want to be the last person a man sleeps with. Men tend to be looking for sex. Women tend to be looking for long-term relationships. Another similar observation: Men give love to get sex, women give sex to get love.

I'm struggling to think of less accurate generalizations. Maybe that's the line that the old guard is trying to sell to society, but it is not being bought by new generations.

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#39

Post by anovikov »

JesusLovesEwe wrote: post #22
granshaw wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not a comfortable thing to say, but this is one reason I’m glad my kid is a daughter and not a son If the dating game is already like this now, it’s scary thinking about how it’ll be 18 years from now

If you think the situation is any better for young women, you're in for a shock. From where I'm sitting, the propaganda targeting women is far, far more pervasive and destructive. Everything about their relationships - the why, when, who and how - is undermined in an alarming majority of our institutions. Date many and often with no inhibitions, "have fun", don't get "tied down", delay marriage and family or abstain…

OK delaying marriage and family is normal for all countries and all cultures, there's nothing to be done about it and it has nothing to do with Tinder let alone with OnlyFans lol, it's simply because age of maturity has increased due to higher impact of career and education.

Of all things you said, i agree only with the "distortion of standards" thing. Again, it's global, has nothing to do with the U.S. or "West" in general, happens everywhere - even more so in more vertical, traditional Asian cultures (with corresponding decline of birthrates). Yet, it's a problem i can see no solution for unless single parenthood is completely normalised (which might require elimination of religion).

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#40

Post by csomar »

JesusLovesEwe wrote: post #22
granshaw wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not a comfortable thing to say, but this is one reason I’m glad my kid is a daughter and not a son If the dating game is already like this now, it’s scary thinking about how it’ll be 18 years from now

If you think the situation is any better for young women, you're in for a shock. From where I'm sitting, the propaganda targeting women is far, far more pervasive and destructive. Everything about their relationships - the why, when, who and how - is undermined in an alarming majority of our institutions. Date many and often with no inhibitions, "have fun", don't get "tied down", delay marriage and family or abstain…

Because, eh, it's true? Kids might be good for society but they are not for the particular woman/individual in question. These woman are making the right choice individually. I see lots of happy 35-45 woman doing brunches in mall. Something tells me they are not missing too much on the family bandwagon.
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