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Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

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Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#11
post #9
post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Not a comfortable thing to say, but this is one reason I’m glad my kid is a daughter and not a son I am missing something here... why? If the rate of single men in the US looking for a date has dropped, wouldn't a similar number (assuming majority straight relationships and monogamous pairings) of women be also single?

No, men aren’t looking for dates cause online dating has made it really brutal for them and allowed women to be more choosy It’s not by choice

> No, men aren’t looking for dates cause online dating has made it really brutal for them and allowed women to be more choosy

Isn't the result the same? More people are single? Or are we saying that more men have polyamorous relationships?

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#12
post #7
post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not a comfortable thing to say, but this is one reason I’m glad my kid is a daughter and not a son If the dating game is already like this now, it’s scary thinking about how it’ll be 18 years from now

> Not a comfortable thing to say, but this is one reason I’m glad my kid is a daughter and not a son I am missing something here... why? If the rate of single men in the US looking for a date has dropped, wouldn't a similar number (assuming majority straight relationships and monogamous pairings) of women be also single?

Currently that subset is dating the same men, while thinking they are monogamous

The older men they are dating are not only dating younger women, or just one younger woman

I can see that continuing

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#13
post #5

Really troubling statistics if true. I suspect the lockdown has exacerbated this. Frankly I worry for my own young children. I almost wish there was a place to live where there was little to no social media, no chronic cell phone addiction, people out in nature, together, socializing, cooperating.

Not a comfortable thing to say, but this is one reason I’m glad my kid is a daughter and not a son If the dating game is already like this now, it’s scary thinking about how it’ll be 18 years from now

Take it from a serial dater male with great success on tinder/bumble.. the lives of many women is substantially worse than even guys that can't get a date. Unless you do a great job explaining the purpose of dating (courting?), There is a very high chance she'll simply become the temporary play thing of dozens of men. And being smart and well educated seems to have basically little to do with it.. I know many more married hair dressers than I do girls in tech. And beyond that... Many that ARE married are basically angry at life because they settled and are not sexually attracted to their husbands even. I almost thing men have it easier.. which you can verify for yourself if you look up depression stats and prescription stats.

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#14

Really troubling statistics if true. I suspect the lockdown has exacerbated this. Frankly I worry for my own young children. I almost wish there was a place to live where there was little to no social media, no chronic cell phone addiction, people out in nature, together, socializing, cooperating.

You literally just described the Amish.

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#15
post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not a comfortable thing to say, but this is one reason I’m glad my kid is a daughter and not a son If the dating game is already like this now, it’s scary thinking about how it’ll be 18 years from now

Take it from a serial dater male with great success on tinder/bumble.. the lives of many women is substantially worse than even guys that can't get a date. Unless you do a great job explaining the purpose of dating (courting?), There is a very high chance she'll simply become the temporary play thing of dozens of men. And being smart and well educated seems to have basically little to do with it.. I know many more ma…

That's an another angle I haven't thought about. Thank you for sharing.

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#16

The maths of dating never makes sense unless you make some really difficult assumptions. Reminds me of a joke from somewhere: Every happy man is single and every happy woman is married.

I have recently heard the opposite, at least as far as women goes. For a lot of women, especially mothers, being a single mother is a whole lot easier than being a married mother, since there is one less person in the house they have to take care of. A whole lot of men were not socialized to be actual contributing partners, which loops back around into the prime reason why a lot of men are having a hard time dating these days, because a whole lot of women are sick of putting up with that, and are instead looking for men who will contribute an equal amount of housework, cooking, emotional labour, etc.

Especially given that it's not broadly reasonable for a single partner to go out and earn enough money at one job to support both people (let alone a family), it's no longer acceptable for men to not contribute around the house equally.

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#17
Will probably get downvoted for this. But I'm a very conventionally attractive guy with a good job in a major US city. I basically have an unlimited stream of dates through dating apps from women of all walks of life. Upwards of 20 - 50 matches a day if I really push it. People already know this, but I dont think they know how bad the schew is. Every young single woman is chasing the same few men and they dont care if that guy is dating other women.

As these women enter their 30s I really dont know what is going to happen. Society will be an odd place in twenty years. The social dynamics between men and women have never existed like this.

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#18
As an asian man who has traveled to LATAM and the US, I am not surprised. American women are super entitled, hard to approach and borderline delusional when selecting men. It is never enough for them. They are hard to approach, judgy and sincerely just a pain in the ass. Women in LATAM for example are a thousand times sweeter, more feminine and approachable.

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#19
post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not a comfortable thing to say, but this is one reason I’m glad my kid is a daughter and not a son If the dating game is already like this now, it’s scary thinking about how it’ll be 18 years from now

Take it from a serial dater male with great success on tinder/bumble.. the lives of many women is substantially worse than even guys that can't get a date. Unless you do a great job explaining the purpose of dating (courting?), There is a very high chance she'll simply become the temporary play thing of dozens of men. And being smart and well educated seems to have basically little to do with it.. I know many more ma…

> become the temporary play thing of dozens of men

That's a natural result of only selecting for the 20% who know they can play the field. The "I deserve a tall handsome prince with a high income" types are all in competition with each other for a limited resource. Men aren't to blame for that.

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#20

Will probably get downvoted for this. But I'm a very conventionally attractive guy with a good job in a major US city. I basically have an unlimited stream of dates through dating apps from women of all walks of life. Upwards of 20 - 50 matches a day if I really push it. People already know this, but I dont think they know how bad the schew is. Every young single woman is chasing the same few men and they dont care i…

There's an old joke -- or perhaps humorous observation -- that men want to be the first person a woman sleeps with and women want to be the last person a man sleeps with.

Men tend to be looking for sex. Women tend to be looking for long-term relationships. Another similar observation: Men give love to get sex, women give sex to get love.

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