If you can, have the classes be sex segregated, reducing the incentive for guys to enroll into those classes
Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
591–600 of 659 posts
Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
#592Earlier quoted context omitted.
It was the exact same context, a commenter on HN lamenting the difficulty for 80% of men to meet a women, unless one is aggressive, made as a comment in an article about a group of older-year, leching males. You are interpreting that to mean "find a life partner".
Yes, I am. > Please respond to the strongest plausible interpretation of what someone says, not a weaker one that's easier to criticize. Assume good faith.
I wasn't interpreting anything.
From reading the text of the actual article, "and a number of female students have approached me, noting they are disgusted and uncomfortable with the amount of "leching" taking place".
From the comment I had replied to, "but it's damn hard to find a mate if you are not in the top 20% of (straight) men, and basically requires you to be aggressive like this".
> Please respond to the strongest plausible interpretation of what someone says, not a weaker one that's easier to criticize. Assume good faith.
Please respond to the article and not an interpretation of partial words and phrases taken from comments. Frankly, it wastes time and derails actual discussions from happening.
Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
#593Earlier quoted context omitted.
> I think one people miss is that lack of interaction can be a form of harassment. I don't think you actually think, that - be honest with yourself, have you ever spoke up on behalf on incels, claiming that they are actually a group of harassed males because females are ignoring them?
>be honest with yourself, have you ever spoke up on behalf on incels, claiming that they are actually a group of harassed males because females are ignoring them? "Involuntary celibate" is a rapey, entitled, oxymoron of a phrase. Everyone wants physical affection. I remember being distressed after the Elliot Rodger shooting, and discussing in therapy how I was... not like that... and still very lonely. I developed an…
> Anyways... I'm talking about refusing to tutor someone unless they're pretty, not refusing to date them.
Yeah, still not harassment. Discrimination maybe, definitely not harassment in any known dictionary.
> I'm sorry that correctly stating a fact (giving different levels of support depending on if you've got romantic prospects) is a form of harassment apparently triggered so many.
I don't think you know the difference between harassment and discrimination.
> Not only have I not spoken up for incels, I've actively advocated they should feel free to exit this planet (sans spree killing) if they feel that upset about their dating prospects.
Are you or are you not claiming that $GENDER_A ignoring $GENDER_B is a form of harassment?
If you're making the claim that MEN ignoring WOMEN is a form of harassment/discrimination, but WOMEN ignoring MEN isn't, then you're experiencing some severe form of cognitive dissonance.
Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
#594Earlier quoted context omitted.
> I'm appalled that so many other commenters don't see an issue with such behavior in class: >> No unwanted advances It seems very appalling when you focus on the bits you don't like and ignore the bits like "no unwanted advances".
Making the interested parties "disgusted and uncomfortable" - on purpose! - pretty much qualifies as "unwanted advances".
> Making the interested parties "disgusted and uncomfortable" - on purpose! - pretty much qualifies as "unwanted advances".
If you read the link you'd see that the women have actually stated that there were no unwanted advances.
Luckily you are here to mansplain to them how there poor female mind doesn't understand what "unwanted advances" mean...
I'm sure they all appreciate it.
Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
#595Earlier quoted context omitted.
Could you clarify how student safety is being threatened by what's described in the post?
Safety, literally? Maybe. But if the women are feeling demoralized and it’s preventing their access to those courses, then I’m confident the Title IX office will be able to look into it. Google U, JDs are focusing too narrowly on harassment. It could be analyzed as the policy of allowing this is having a disparate impact on women’s access to certain courses. It’s not unreasonable to ask people why they’re doing in yo…
HN is turning into Reddit. "I don't like your factual answer" is downvoted.
Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
#596Earlier quoted context omitted.
>be honest with yourself, have you ever spoke up on behalf on incels, claiming that they are actually a group of harassed males because females are ignoring them? "Involuntary celibate" is a rapey, entitled, oxymoron of a phrase. Everyone wants physical affection. I remember being distressed after the Elliot Rodger shooting, and discussing in therapy how I was... not like that... and still very lonely. I developed an…
> Anyways... I'm talking about refusing to tutor someone unless they're pretty, not refusing to date them. Yeah, still not harassment. Discrimination maybe, definitely not harassment in any known dictionary. > I'm sorry that correctly stating a fact (giving different levels of support depending on if you've got romantic prospects) is a form of harassment apparently triggered so many. I don't think you know the differ…
>I don't think you know the difference between harassment and discrimination.
Semantic difference. It's discrimination to only help the hotties.
>If you're making the claim that MEN ignoring WOMEN is a form of harassment/discrimination, but WOMEN ignoring MEN isn't, then you're experiencing some severe form of cognitive dissonance.
I've had folks politely turn down coffee, but I literally never had a female classmate refuse to help me with something related to an engineering course.
Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
#597Earlier quoted context omitted.
> There are many physical traits that women prefer but they're less shallow than us men. > Confidence and the ability to talk are huge. You're social status among your peer group. How well you dress. Do you look after yourself physically. All of these things can be developed. So, "fit smooth-talking alpha guy"? I'm not sure I agree with it, but your description seems _very_ shallow TBH.
I'm not sure I understand where you're coming from. What traits, that are found attractive, would you describe as less shallow?
> What traits, that are found attractive, would you describe as less shallow?
You got it backwards - my point was that your description of "many physical traits that women prefer but they're less shallow than us men" is as shallow as "hot lustful babe with big tits" or some other stereotypical horny teenager's dream partner that you probably meant by "shallow".
Also, you know that "gender X is less shallow than Y" is sexist statement, right?
Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
#598Earlier quoted context omitted.
I'm not sure I understand where you're coming from. What traits, that are found attractive, would you describe as less shallow?
> What traits, that are found attractive, would you describe as less shallow? You got it backwards - my point was that your description of "many physical traits that women prefer but they're less shallow than us men" is as shallow as "hot lustful babe with big tits" or some other stereotypical horny teenager's dream partner that you probably meant by "shallow". Also, you know that "gender X is less shallow than Y" is…
I say less shallow as they are personality traits not purely physical. I'm interested in knowing what you would consider less shallow. Unless your point is that attraction is shallow. That I could see.
>Also, you know that "gender X is less shallow than Y" is sexist statement, right?
I strongly disagree. It's like saying women on average prefer people and men on average prefer things. It's not a judgment just an observation.
Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
#599Earlier quoted context omitted.
Keeping track of a thousand subtle signals is a "basic" social skill?
They didn't say subtle, or that you had to track the entirety of the hypothetical 1000.
I said subtle because I am not inexperienced in this area and these "signals" absolutely are subtle/ambiguous a decent portion of the time. And clearly you do need to track all 1000, otherwise how would you know if someone is trying to "signal interest or a lack thereof"? If I'm not paying attention to that one signal and they use it, then I'm missing the signal.
Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
#600Earlier quoted context omitted.
Keeping track of a thousand subtle signals is a "basic" social skill?
If you want to learn it, just practice. It will take time. It will probably be worth it. BTW, I’m not talking about PUA stuff here. Rather, I would think of it as practising the art of conversation, and cultivating a curiousness about other people.
> If you want to learn it, just practice. It will take time. It will probably be worth it.
A skill that you need to practice with dedication and that "takes time" to learn still doesn't sound basic.
As someone that has participated in lots of flirting, conversation, and curiousness about other people, I can say confidently that being curious and being good at conversation are not sufficient to navigate flirtatious behavior successfully, unless you're using "art of conversation" as a huge umbrella term which includes charisma / etc. If you are doing that, then I'll note that probably the majority of people on Earth have not mastered the art of conversation (or even cultivated it much) by such a broad definition.