this is so contrived and written in dramatising and fuzzy language ("perverted the data") that to me it's pretty obvious that this is a made up story by someone who takes offence in diversity measures.
Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
541–550 of 659 posts
Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
#542Earlier quoted context omitted.
The point is not that they should be "getting the correct girls" but "getting the correct attitude and behavior from these same girls" - behavior that helps you romantically, that is. Let's go through this step by step. If you're just barely getting a girl to agree to a date, you're basically back at square one in terms of wooing her - except that now you've also foolishly thrown away a chance to be friendly with her…
> ...except that now you've also foolishly thrown away a chance to be friendly with her in a way more natural fashion... Making way too many assumptions, to include interjecting personal beliefs on how other adults should or are suppose to meet. These are adults, that have the right to choose how they want to approach and interact with each other, as long as its consenting and legal. It also comes off as a denial of…
No, the burden is on those who endorse this silly, obnoxious private tutoring stuff to justify their assumption that it's a good way to get to know people (including but not limited to, in a romantic fashion). You're in a majority female class that you chose specifically for that fact about it, and you can't get your fellow students' attention without ruining the class as an educational experience for everyone else? I'm sorry but that just doesn't seem plausible or right.
Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
#543Earlier quoted context omitted.
all men or only ugly men?
This trope is getting tiresome. Having successful interactions with potential partners and forming relationships is really not about looking like Brad Pitt. Trust me, I know. And I don’t say this just to try to be politically correct. It’s easy for young people to fall into this delusion, but there’s much more to it than looks.
You miss one thing - positive feedback. It's easier to be laid-back and relaxed when "the world smiles at you" at first sight for your looks. When others treat you like a creep for any move you make, you eventually become bitter or intense, which as you said, repels people regardless of looks.
The dating experience of (heterosexual) men and women is worlds apart. Being on the non-initiating side blinds women to the amount of rejection involved in the process. Men, on the other hand, are not exposed to the amount of unwanted attention it involves since men only interact when they initiate.
Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
#544Earlier quoted context omitted.
I didn't ignore that, but chose to focus on the fact that other commenters have seemed to ignore all the problematic lines lines completely surrounding those three words. There can be only willing advances between the person making the advancing and the the person it is advanced on, but in the completely wrong environment can affect everyone else who has to be in an environment who has to be in the same environment.…
> but in the completely wrong environment [welcome advances] can affect everyone else who has to be in an environment who has to be in the same environment. Well, honestly, I dunno what to say - people who are getting mad that their peers are hooking up can't very well petition[1] to stop other people from hooking up. > A later comment by the professor makes explicit the harm being done: >> Even worse, some women in…
You're still being blind to everything else that happens as a precondition to auditing students making advances to attractive students, if you think that
> That's just a different way of saying "People who don't get dates get hurt and angry". We already know that.
Perhaps I should spell out one aspect of it.
These auditing students have to survey and evaluate the female students taking the class for their attractiveness. It's uncomfortable and distracting to receive such attention when you are in an environment that's primarily for academic learning.
Now, I'll admit that perhaps this is only mildly uncomfortable. But as I said in my original comment, the likely result of students taking things into their own hands would be to just take a less preferred course that they feel more comfortable in with respect to sexual attention.
Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
#545The apologists in these comments for what's effectively using educational data as a means to reducing the women in their program as "potential mates" - and making them "disgusted and uncomfortable" in the process! - are really concerning.
Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
#546I'm appalled that so many other commenters don't see an issue with such behavior in class: > number of female students have approached me, noting they are disgusted and uncomfortable with the amount of leching taking place > It's also demoralizing several of them, since we routinely have cases where a young man is leading open labs as if they're a teacher themselves (in order to "wow" their female classmates, offer "…
> I'm appalled that so many other commenters don't see an issue with such behavior in class: >> No unwanted advances It seems very appalling when you focus on the bits you don't like and ignore the bits like "no unwanted advances".
Making the interested parties "disgusted and uncomfortable" - on purpose! - pretty much qualifies as "unwanted advances".
Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
#547Earlier quoted context omitted.
Fertility has been dropping since the 80s, long before anything to do with wokeism or meetoo or whatever. So nobody was woke in the 80s? Feminism and homosexuality just sprang up out of nowhere in 2010?
Not sure what your point is exactly? Feminism and LGBTQ rights did not start in the 80s either.
They did, but no where as powerful as now. At least you wouldn’t lose your job for saying things that the woke don’t like.
Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
#548Earlier quoted context omitted.
It’s disrespectful because it ignores the fact that the women are not there to date, but to learn. The men are getting in their way by showing off and offering disingenuous tutoring.
The subtext here is that women should be able to exist in the world without "unwanted" sexual attention being given towards them. The question is whether this is reasonable. Should men not seek dates? Should men not go where single women are to seek dates? Should men limit their efforts at getting dates only to "appropriate venues", where women's interest is explicit? How does the man's attractiveness factor into the…
To me, the issue isn't that class is a totally inappropriate venue (for context, I'm a woman). I've been asked out in class when I was in college. I've also asked people out in class. It was never an issue. It does not interrupt class.
But that is so different than showing up to class with the intent of getting a date. It's disingenuous and, when you have multiple people doing it, it's disruptive and disrespectful to everyone there who wants to learn, especially women.
I'm not saying people never ask each other out in class. What people were doing usually do is fine by my book. But this is a situation where a difference of degree becomes a difference of kind.
Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
#549Earlier quoted context omitted.
Or more likely something within our food / water chain labeled safe and unharmful. Birth control pills part of the drinking water supply is a popular theory
> Or more likely something within our food / water chain No. That is definitely not more likely.
Low testosterone caused by these factors is most likely the cause.
Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service
#550Earlier quoted context omitted.
It’s disrespectful because it ignores the fact that the women are not there to date, but to learn. The men are getting in their way by showing off and offering disingenuous tutoring.
> It’s disrespectful because it ignores the fact that the women are not there to date, but to learn. Well, if they're dating in that class, then you're obviously wrong; those women who date in that class are there to learn and (obviously) open to dating as well. Who are you to tell women who they may or may not date?
I don't think most of the women in the class are dating. It's clear that a lot of them are uncomfortable. And frankly, we should privilege the interests of people who go to class to learn over those who do not. Even if just say 10% of people found this disruptive to there education, I do think that would make it a bad thing.