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Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

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Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#551

Post by elil17 »

drewcoo wrote: post #350
elil17 wrote: post #149

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It’s disrespectful because it ignores the fact that the women are not there to date, but to learn. The men are getting in their way by showing off and offering disingenuous tutoring.

Nonsense. When I was in college, many women were there for their "Mrs. degree." Not most women but enough that it had a familiar jokey label. This was even joked about by those same women who were partner-hunting. And investing time into an activity to meet someone is the opposite of disrespectful. It shows a willingness to at least commit something. I don't see how this is any worse than taking dance classes to meet…

I feel like that does not line up with whats in the post, though. Women are complaining. The guys aren't even fully enrolled in the class, they are auditing. It's the opposite of genuinely investing time - it's all some charade.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#552

Post by tiahura »

throwntoday wrote: post #65
tiahura wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Girls must be protected from being asked out at all costs because they are strong and independent future girl-bosses.

The real issue was pointed out by the professor herself, that only attractive women were being offered tutoring and getting attention. The ones complaining were jaded by the competition. I don't see how there is any issue with this if the men were respectful and didn't actually make unwanted advances. Why does the professor (a woman) feel like women are stupid, or need to be coddled? I can't think of anything more di…

Reminds me of the Rush Limbaugh joke - “ Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream.”

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#553

Post by OgAstorga »

bitmunk wrote: post #192
tiahura wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Girls must be protected from being asked out at all costs because they are strong and independent future girl-bosses.

Let's change the subjects from "horny upperclassmen" to "MLM representatives that want to get new suckers". Would you be fine with going to a class where a significant percentage of people are trying to get you to sell Amway products? And they don't give a damn about the class?

MLM representatives can't be friendzoned. MLM representatives won't teach me a thing.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#554

Post by hobabaObama »

ZephyrBlu wrote: post #25

Ingenious and hilarious. Trying to shut it down is probably going to create more interest, Streisand effect type thing. I would leave it to burn out on it's own. It sounds like a net positive on the whole. Hard to tell if there is really a problem here. "a number of female students" reached out to her with concerns, but "a few fellow profs either find it comical, or are happy that open labs are so full of volunteer t…

If guys are harassing someone - that is the problem that needs to be tackled on its merit. Not this app. Banning it will alleviate this problem.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#555

Post by notpachet »

ZephyrBlu wrote: post #335
ImaCake wrote: post #315

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>Effort is generally a pretty good proxy for respect My example above says otherwise. >can you explain what is a respectful attempt? One done in good faith. Which is a slippery and vague concept. The ambiguity would explain the state of this comment section. >taking a class and offering help to attractive girls isn't inherently disrespectful I, and others, would consider the crucial point here to be "taking the class…

Generally. If men have to pursue women in "good faith" and not purposefully try to position themselves then I have news for you, 99% of men are 'disrespectful'.

> If men have to pursue women in "good faith" and not purposefully try to position themselves then I have news for you, 99% of men are 'disrespectful'.

Bing bing bing! We have a winner!

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#556

Post by GlenTheMachine »

onepointsixC wrote: post #173
GlenTheMachine wrote: post #89

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Because I have an attractive daughter studying engineering, and she tells me that her single biggest problem is that she constantly has to reject, avoid, or otherwise fend off male advances nearly every day. It's exhausting, it makes her never feel at ease in her classes, and she is constantly being distracted when what she really wants is quiet time to figure out integration by parts or whatever. As a male, this is…

[flagged]

She doesn’t feel that way. She feels like she is surrounded by scummy males who just want to get laid and aren’t actually interested in her as a person. And constantly fending these men off is emotionally draining. Once she does fend them off, they aren’t exactly friendly any more, so she's surrounded by men who emotionally stunted and offended that she personally didn't respond to their advances.

If she were interested in bedding the most attractive males possible, then maybe. But what she actually wants is to build cool environmentally efficient buildings, and to do that she needs to pass her classes.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#557

Post by lazide »

lelanthran wrote: post #514
lazide wrote: post #468

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I literally said, and have been saying the opposite. Maybe read next time?

You cannot see how this exchange is ambigous? > The linked questions mentions that this has created an uncomfortable environment for female undergraduates -- but no allegations of illegal behavior. >> According to one person anyway. We haven’t surveyed the class, correct?

The claim they were making was that there was an uncomfortable environment. They did not claim there was any illegal behavior.

When saying the class hasn’t been surveyed, the reasonable assumption here is the class hasn’t been surveyed to see the percentage of uncomfortable students - as that can only be substantiated or not by asking for opinions/internal state, as there are no clear objective markers otherwise. It’s a purely subjective thing.

Which by the way, in any large number of students will always be non-zero for pretty much anything.

Any obvious Illegal behavior would likely not require a survey, as one person reporting it should be enough to investigate, and should have enough concrete objective details to substantiate it or not.

Allegations of illegal behavior when they aren’t occurring are, unfortunately, also decently common. Even when everything is being recorded. It does make the investigation a lot easier though!

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#558

Post by lazide »

felix_n wrote: post #538
lazide wrote: post #237

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why do you assume the women aren’t as interested in dating as the men? Seems pretty sexist frankly.

I guess because they're complaining to the professor about it? Nice attempt to turn the table though, with social skills that subtle I bet you'd fit right with the bozos in this class.

One person complained, correct?

Any sizable group of people where there is fun occurring, will inevitably have someone complain because they aren’t included. It’s impossible to please everyone.

It also can happen if there are actual problems too!

But without looking at the situation, good luck figuring it out.

Nice personal attack though!

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#559

Post by bradlys »

troupe wrote: post #304
shadowfacts wrote: post #259

Earlier quoted context omitted.

... Yes, choosing ones major based on dating prospects is definitely weird.

I guess I kind of expect people to choose to go to a coed college instead of all female or all male based on (at least partially) dating prospects. Does it seem weird for a female interested in both business and nursing to choose business because nursing would be mostly other females and business would be more balanced and more opportunities to develop friendships with the opposite sex?

Coed colleges become all male quite quickly when choosing certain majors - especially in the STEM region.

When I did math & cs - there were almost no women in any classes I took. The few that showed up were typically fob and didn’t speak English much at all or have any interest in integrating.

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