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Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

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Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#741

Post by 0xbadcafebee »

amelius wrote: post #252
0xbadcafebee wrote: post #108

This is hilarious. They found that young men are having less sex, young women are not having less sex, and some young men are having way more sex. And they conclude the problem is "loneliness". No, dude, the problem is young men are increasingly not worth having sex with. This of course has precedence in the natural world. Not every male is always having sex. Most often, a smaller number of males that are considered…

It's also because men who are in a relationship are way more attractive to women than men who aren't or haven't been, regardless of other factors.

That... isn't indicated by the data. There would have to be a simultaneous increase in the number of men cheating on their SOs at the same time as a decrease in sex with single men, for.... no apparent reason.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#742

Post by 71a54xd »

astrange wrote: post #673
71a54xd wrote: post #420

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think the most damaging reality of these apps is when a man who himself thinks he's low-value and doesn't understand how to improve only gets a few matches from the algo of women who are below average attractiveness. I'm going to get flamed for this but in general I think it's right to assume that the average woman in 2022 is less attractive than the average man, BMI / height stats support this. This outcome genera…

> I'm going to get flamed for this but in general I think it's right to assume that the average woman in 2022 is less attractive than the average man, BMI / height stats support this. What's your definition of attractive height…?

Definitely 6' and up - and I'm shorter than that. It's pretty obvious, but I don't lose sleep about it. I also meant BMI relative to height, not height in general. Statistics don't lie in terms of what each population generally finds attractive.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#743

Post by astrange »

71a54xd wrote: post #742
astrange wrote: post #673

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I'm going to get flamed for this but in general I think it's right to assume that the average woman in 2022 is less attractive than the average man, BMI / height stats support this. What's your definition of attractive height…?

Definitely 6' and up - and I'm shorter than that. It's pretty obvious, but I don't lose sleep about it. I also meant BMI relative to height, not height in general. Statistics don't lie in terms of what each population generally finds attractive.

> Definitely 6' and up

For women? Maybe in the Netherlands.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#744

Post by astrange »

bmn__ wrote: post #727
astrange wrote: post #665

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Attractiveness" is very under your control and like half of it is how good your photos are.

That's false. Out of the seven characteristics of attractiveness, only one is under locus of control, the rest are genetically determined and exceedingly hard to change.

Nothing is genetically determined. The environment happens to you after your genes do.

(For instance, it's easy to "change" if you're a burn victim. If you're going to be scientific, be specific.)

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#745

Post by Beaver117 »

seydor wrote: post #710
Beaver117 wrote: post #467

Can we talk about making prostitution legal? Other countries have realized their sexual loneliness problem and made it legal, which somewhat helped. When men have some access to sex, it improves outcomes for everyone.

which country did that and what problem did it solve? The same pattern of loneliness is found in countries with legalized prostitution

It's much easier to date in legal countries. A lot of Europe, Austrailia, New Zealand, have much less trouble than the US. But it doesn't completely solve the problem, sure. There are other factors too

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#746

Post by throwawaymaths »

pmarreck wrote: post #725
throwawaymaths wrote: post #363

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The wisdom is not all that profound and it comes off as boastful. Whether or not it deligitimizes the reader is irrelevant. The poster knows it's a sensitive topic from the very outset and still goes ahead with the comment.

I'm sorry about your smolpeen. Am I doing this right?

I'm ok with it

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#747

Post by mbar84 »

AdamH12113 wrote: post #217
itsmemattchung wrote: post #4

> One possible aid for sexual loneliness might come from online dating apps such as Tinder. In theory, online dating could provide an efficient way to find a partner. However, online dating divides people heavily into winners and losers – perhaps even more so than traditional dating. While women can get attention from thousands of men online in just a few hours, men are lucky if anyone is interested in them My wife d…

From what I've gathered by listening to women, there are fundamentally different problems. "Attention" is not valuable in itself. Getting spammed with dick pics is about as appealing as any other kind of spam. No one looks in their spam folder and thinks "Gosh, all of these advertisers think I have money to burn! What a great compliment!". It doesn't show any personal interest. It's not a sign that the other person i…

> We're wandering through a desert looking for an oasis; they're swimming through a lake of garbage looking for an intact water bottle.

I think it's more like, we're both in a corner store and while many men can't afford something to eat, though it's right in front of them; women won't stop looking before they find Caviar and a bottle of Champaign.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#748

Post by robjan »

Yizahi wrote: post #729
konart wrote: post #308

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>Not much. Maybe a house of worship Literature clubs, language classes. Literally any hobbie that does not require you to stay focused on device that may cut off your fingers if you look away.

The problem with hobby relationships is not only that it is just awkward in the first place as people said above. The other significant problem is that hobbies are long term activity. Say you sign up for a club/class/sports team and you genuinely interested in that activity. You meet 10-15 new people, and lets say there are no single people of opposite gender. Now what? Cancel your kayaking club after few weeks and s…

In the case you're describing, the hypothetical person is going into the hobby for the wrong reason. The primary objective should be the hobby, if you happen to find someone you get on well with all the better.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#750

Post by Qem »

mixmastamyk wrote: post #739
Qem wrote: post #642

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Tried to get back to university as a means to socialize more, in my 30s. It didn't work as intended, because attending classes while holding a day job left very little time for actual socialization with my colleagues. Ended giving up. I think it would have worked better with more free time to invest on it.

Pick easier classes I guess? Less Calc III and more photography and ceramics. Something the target sex is over-represented in.

It's not difficulty level, more like just raw time. Most social interaction occurs while hanging on between classes, while having lunch, paying a visit to the library, et cetera. It doesn't work when you rush in to the class and then rush out back to job soon after. Just hanging around people and getting to know them takes time.
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