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Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

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Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#281

Post by weakfortress »

sahila wrote: post #271
ryandrake wrote: post #233

Earlier quoted context omitted.

At least in the US, extreme political polarization has also made it so ~40% of people won't even hang out or party with another ~40% of people, and vice versa. I've got friends on both sides, and I'd never be able to host a successful party that included them all. People can't leave that shit at home anymore.

I don’t understand why should people “leave that shit at home”? I’m not defending the parent example of a friend being progressive and criticizing others while engaging in similar wasteful behavior, but if you really believe in something, doesn’t it hurt to see the opposite? I suppose most people’s views in the US are superficial and team based in which case then I agree.

[dead]

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#282

Post by ericmay »

curiousllama wrote: post #135

One thing I observed moving cities recently, and realized has been true for much of my life: there's a pretty small number of people who actually organize things. As the density of your social network naturally decreases, you may have lost a few eigenvector-central social network nodes. Think back to those work parties: were they really spontaneous, or did "Janice in Accounting" always seem to step up? For me, there…

I agree, and it's even more difficult when a population is very transitory.

Basically, things don't maintain themselves. This is true of work parties and get-togethers and dinners, and also true of government, civic organizations, and other related groups.

We need more people stepping up and doing the hard work of organizing.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#283

Post by xeromal »

vpilcx wrote: post #278
motohagiography wrote: post #265

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A generation of immunocompromised guys with AIDS built the entire electronic music and rave scene in the 80s and 90s, the fashion business, and most of the culture you consume today. It's not condescending if your issues are in fact discretionary. I travel with someone who will die within an hour of exposure to peanuts, regularly spend time with people in their 80's and 90s who have been on deaths door for years, rid…

"Different people have different risk tolerances and people with lower risk tolerances disgust me." Okay, gotcha.

Didn't read like he said it was disgusting. Sounded like it was just too difficult to deal with in a party. I just feel like they're in the way, not disgusting.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#284

Post by motohagiography »

HEmanZ wrote: post #220
motohagiography wrote: post #184

I don't invite people over anymore because their fussiness scales negatively - where if you want to mix 5 people who each have a rule about what they cannot abide, the common denominator is rarely special enough to leave the house for. Between the discretionary lifestyle demands of vegetarians, vegans, non-glutens, non-porks, non-drinkers, anti-smokers, non-problematics, non-outdoorsies, hover-parents, maskers, and t…

I'm not sure controversial issues and neuroticism breaking up parties is new whatsoever. I have read too many things that sound exactly like what you've written from the 70s, 50s, 30s, 20s, 10s, 1880s, ..... Even in the 1500s aristocrats in France complained about throwing fewer "parties" because of the spicy topic of Catholic vs Protestant. Generally, if parties are decreasing, I would argue it is more because there…

Even though I agree I'd ask, what it was we didn't learn from these examples that we are doing it yet again? We know how those all ended, and I think being able to throw good parties may be the way we keep it from going the same way.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#285

Post by [deleted] »

sahila wrote: post #271
ryandrake wrote: post #233

Earlier quoted context omitted.

At least in the US, extreme political polarization has also made it so ~40% of people won't even hang out or party with another ~40% of people, and vice versa. I've got friends on both sides, and I'd never be able to host a successful party that included them all. People can't leave that shit at home anymore.

I don’t understand why should people “leave that shit at home”? I’m not defending the parent example of a friend being progressive and criticizing others while engaging in similar wasteful behavior, but if you really believe in something, doesn’t it hurt to see the opposite? I suppose most people’s views in the US are superficial and team based in which case then I agree.

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#286

Post by nibbleshifter »

JauntTrooper wrote: post #257
lotsofpulp wrote: post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are you referring to stories like Wolf of Wall Street? If so, I would not expect stories like that from tech (or any other business where relationships are not the main sell). People getting high together or partying is not going to make the next generation processor or programming language or improve battery technology.

I think it depends on which part of the tech sector you look at. Crypto has a very similar vibe.

"Information Security" used to be an industry with extremely wild/hedonistic party culture after events. Not as much anymore.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#287

Post by cheschire »

sahila wrote: post #271
ryandrake wrote: post #233

Earlier quoted context omitted.

At least in the US, extreme political polarization has also made it so ~40% of people won't even hang out or party with another ~40% of people, and vice versa. I've got friends on both sides, and I'd never be able to host a successful party that included them all. People can't leave that shit at home anymore.

I don’t understand why should people “leave that shit at home”? I’m not defending the parent example of a friend being progressive and criticizing others while engaging in similar wasteful behavior, but if you really believe in something, doesn’t it hurt to see the opposite? I suppose most people’s views in the US are superficial and team based in which case then I agree.

> doesn't it hurt to see the opposite

This is the point. Leave that shit at home so the "other" folks don't have to see your shit. And if they agree to this social construct then you will not have to see their shit either.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#288

Post by red-iron-pine »

Aromasin wrote: post #49
activitypea wrote: post #31

I graduated right around the time Covid hit, and I feel like that wrecked my social life irreparably. I have 4-5 close friends I can hang out with every other week or so (nobody wants to hang out 1 to 1 every day), but all my friend groups dissipated. Some moved away, some moved on, some just stopped moving at all. I feel miserable and every couple of nights I have dreams of a Third Place where I can just go and make…

Things I've done to successfully restart my social life after Covid in the last year: * Restarted Crossfit. Social events have included BBQ's, meals out, trips away (normally CF related, but still great fun). Every box I've been to have been full of fun and interesting people. * Joined my local Wargaming/Boardgame club. Sit around drinking and playing games with a very varied bunch of people. Lots of nerds and the oc…

[flagged]

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#289

Post by spoiler »

floren wrote: post #266
snapcaster wrote: post #237

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That quote always bothered me because I don't think it's accurate on either a personal or societal level. It's not a good model for viewing the world. It's one of those things that rings true but when you actually think about it it's hard to find it actually mapping to reality or having any predictive power

Right, I've never heard somebody quote it and declare that we're currently in the hard times. Its only purpose is to let other people know that you consider them unwise and soon they'll be sorry .

That's the social media mindset I was talking about!

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#290

Post by nick123567 »

fnordpiglet wrote: post #175
INTPenis wrote: post #125

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well it's complete isolation with your preferred partner. Introverts can avoid draining their battery if they spend time with close people they trust, and can be themselves around. I compare it to masks. We wear many different masks and they weigh different depending on the company. The masks come off with your close family and friends and it's wonderful. It's actually recharging in some way.

We introverts will make great residents of Mars. People always talk about how impossible it’ll be for humans to live there in relative isolation. Those people are obviously normals, and they always assume the others like us don’t count. I’d do just fine with myself or a small number of close partners for the rest of my life. Further, a lot of folks on the spectrum wouldn’t do _just_ fine, they would do better. . A pl…

I think the opposite might be true. As an introvert how would you like living in a cramped 4-6 bedroom apartment with other engineers and constantly working together to troubleshoot, build up & repair the station facilities, doing time-delay media interviews, reporting results to multiple science orgs, etc?
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