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Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

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Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#251

Post by dorchadas »

whstl wrote: post #236
pcdoyle wrote: post #217

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I must be incredibly lucky because I am a millennial and this is not my experience with my social circles. We have a game night almost every week (5+ people), and usually a few parties a year (15+ people) with no drama or fuss. Is this not normal? Is it different depending on the area you grow up in?

It is normal. I still have the same group of (college years) friends since the early 2000s, and the same group of co-workers from 2016-2019. The only reason we don't meet weekly anymore is because I moved to another country, for career growth. I'm betting my reality is also very common for people who grew on small towns and had to move, or for people who live in large countries where you often move around for jobs (l…

> I'm betting my reality is very common for people who grew on small towns and had to move, or for people who live in large countries where you often move around for jobs (like the USA).

Yes, 100%. I met with my (high school) friends weekly when I lived at home. And I met with my brother's friends, who were entirely on the opposite end of the political spectrum from me. We partied together, swam together, went out together, no issues. We'd sometimes get drunk political discussions, but usually we just didn't go there because it really never came up or mattered. And, if it did, we'd usually do it jokingly and never really fight about it.

Now I'm half a world away and any time any of them are anywhere near where I'm at on traveling, I go visit. I've planned to fly to Scotland to visit some of them before Christmas but it fell through on their end. They're planning a Euro trip this autumn; I'll meet them wherever they're at.

Not a tech worker, but i'm lucky in that I can afford it thanks to cheap European flights.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#252

Post by yafbum »

agilob wrote: post #243

You know that parties work both ways and you can organise one? Invite your old friends, your children and maybe some of their friends to a party that's around end of February, so everyone has enough time to book the evening off. Ask to re-confirm their attendance a few day before

Poster said they threw parties but aren't invited in return.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#253

Post by HEmanZ »

HEmanZ wrote: post #220
motohagiography wrote: post #184

I don't invite people over anymore because their fussiness scales negatively - where if you want to mix 5 people who each have a rule about what they cannot abide, the common denominator is rarely special enough to leave the house for. Between the discretionary lifestyle demands of vegetarians, vegans, non-glutens, non-porks, non-drinkers, anti-smokers, non-problematics, non-outdoorsies, hover-parents, maskers, and t…

I'm not sure controversial issues and neuroticism breaking up parties is new whatsoever. I have read too many things that sound exactly like what you've written from the 70s, 50s, 30s, 20s, 10s, 1880s, ..... Even in the 1500s aristocrats in France complained about throwing fewer "parties" because of the spicy topic of Catholic vs Protestant. Generally, if parties are decreasing, I would argue it is more because there…

And just to add to this, I actually think the political polarization of today is just not substantial compared to many other eras. Every generation since the early modern period thinks it’s politics are the most controversial. But the 1880-1950ish era sticks out to me as special. That was the era of real progressivism, communism, socialism, fascism, teetotalers, religious revival, super-powered unions, monopolistic capitalism, wars of political ideology, passivism, hardcore nationalism, etc. It had just so much more ideology dividing people than our world today. The generations that really lived it are dead and many people have forgotten now, but it just takes a bit of reading from that era to see how vehemently politically divided people were.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#254

Post by floren »

CalRobert wrote: post #109
AlecSchueler wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> ...care little about age in the party scene is Madrid. Plenty of nights you're just as likely to be partying with 60 year olds as 25 year olds. Same in Ireland. Funnily enough the party scene there also includes many Spaniards of all ages, as well as an overrepresentation of Greeks and Italians. Wherever I go in Europe, if I go to a party I know it's likely I'll meet someone from one of those four countries there.

Where in Ireland? And to be fair there's loads of Spanish and Brazilian students here (they tell me it's a good place to practice English, or was before the housing crisis), which does help keep the place lively I don't go out a lot but in fairness I remember back in the day seeing plenty of post-60 people up late and out and about.

I remember sitting in a bar in Dublin and getting absolutely put to shame by a few little old ladies. I think they sank at least two beers for every one of mine. The bartender would just look over when their glasses got low, they'd give a tiny nod, and he'd start pouring more.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#256

Post by r00fus »

c7DJTLrn wrote: post #81
Toutouxc wrote: post #68

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Intense schooling has made people apathetic to life and reluctant towards taking any initiative. What do you mean by this?

Not them but I guess it's referencing the fact that education today is largely about having textbooks shoved in front of you until you're able to recite enough of it. University/college is the place where people go to place responsibility for their education on someone else. It's sold as a one-stop shop for a high paying career. Not much initiative needed besides turning up to class.

This is not my experience at all with my children here in Cali. It's a lot more participatory in the classroom and focused on project based learning.

Perhaps YMMV?

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#257

Post by JauntTrooper »

lotsofpulp wrote: post #87
majikaja wrote: post #57

I'm getting older and I still feel as bored around older, married people as I always have. I don't want to hear about other people's careers or children anymore. I didn't experience it but I remember reading a lot more wild stories of the golden era of Wall Street than the tech scene today. Nowadays people just post about putting money in index funds. Too many high-IQ introverts in a room maybe not a good thing?

Are you referring to stories like Wolf of Wall Street? If so, I would not expect stories like that from tech (or any other business where relationships are not the main sell). People getting high together or partying is not going to make the next generation processor or programming language or improve battery technology.

I think it depends on which part of the tech sector you look at. Crypto has a very similar vibe.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#258

Post by mrmanner »

stirfish wrote: post #200
motohagiography wrote: post #184

I don't invite people over anymore because their fussiness scales negatively - where if you want to mix 5 people who each have a rule about what they cannot abide, the common denominator is rarely special enough to leave the house for. Between the discretionary lifestyle demands of vegetarians, vegans, non-glutens, non-porks, non-drinkers, anti-smokers, non-problematics, non-outdoorsies, hover-parents, maskers, and t…

I saved this to copy/paste whenever I hear about a party I'm not invited to (my fussiness scales negatively)

> my fussiness scales negatively

Gonna print this on my business cards

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#259

Post by cma »

carlosjobim wrote: post #215
cma wrote: post #144

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Odd then that lots of people meet at schools and have more parties than any other time in their life.

The schools you're talking about are not anymore schools for children, where the worst influence is being imposed. I was unclear earlier, but I exclusively mean the schooling during childhood years. After puberty things change, but learned behaviors stick for life.

Lots of parties then too (birthdays), more and bigger than homeschoolers.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#260

Post by linhns »

Time changes. Individualism is high these days. Back in the past we can have our arguments, conflicts, disagreements but they can be set aside and all are happy. Nowadays, each one of us is too occupied by many things that we prioritize more than getting together.
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