Ask HN: Where are all the parties? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#81

Post by c7DJTLrn » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 2:26 PM UTC

Toutouxc wrote: post #68

carlosjobim wrote: post #19

- The Covid hysteria was brutal in destroying what was left of the social fabric. - People have become more and more anti social since the introduction of the smart phone. - Intense schooling has made people apathetic to life and reluctant towards taking any initiative. - Wealthy individuals don't need to host parties to impress their communities anymore. - Sex soliciting apps like Tinder makes parties a place where…

> Intense schooling has made people apathetic to life and reluctant towards taking any initiative. What do you mean by this?

Not them but I guess it's referencing the fact that education today is largely about having textbooks shoved in front of you until you're able to recite enough of it. University/college is the place where people go to place responsibility for their education on someone else. It's sold as a one-stop shop for a high paying career. Not much initiative needed besides turning up to class.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#82

Post by derbOac » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 2:27 PM UTC

neodypsis wrote: post #28

Could it be related to COVID or to high inflation / bad economy?

That was my first intuition, although when I thought about it a bit I realized that in my life the lack of parties was a trend I was observing for several years before the pandemic. I kind of attributed it to my department/institution (or in a few limited cases, even to myself) but this post has me wondering if there's sort of a broader trend.

It's probably impossible to know in the absence of some kind of hard data or compelling surveys, though.

I don't think it's an age thing per se, because if anything my older colleagues seemed to persist with parties, although there might be some kind of generational age thing, in that my younger colleagues didn't seem to pick that habit up.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#83

Post by giantg2 » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 2:29 PM UTC

30s here. Schedules are busier, both in general and due to kids. Health issues and homeowner responsibilities take up additional time.

Interests are different now. Most of the parties I used to go to were either LAN parties or college parties (mostly a single person scene). Also, tech has taken an antisocial turn - consoles can barely play splitsceen anymore, good luck with a sys link or an independent game server (things of the past).

Maybe people get more closed minded or clique-y as they get older. Or maybe interests get more focused. In many cases it seems like there's not that much that's enjoyable to talk about.

In my own life, I try to plan a cookout for my neighbors every year. Life gets in the way and I get to it about every 3 years. I also try to have a gaming party with friends once a year. It usually ends up being just 2 people instead of 4-6. It was canceled this year. It's also hard to plan that sort of party with multiple people having little kids.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#84

Post by rossdavidh » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 2:30 PM UTC

I'm 55 and have gone to as many parties of my friends in the last 12 months as ever in my life. However, I do this by throwing them at my house. Granted, they're more sit-down-eat-dinner-together-and-drink-wine, and less stand-around-and-drink-beer-and-blast-music, but they're still a bunch of friends in my house at once.

If you want a lot of parties with friends, the best way is to throw them yourself. Your friends might also be interested in attending, but have less energy for hosting them.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#85

Post by ilaksh » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 2:32 PM UTC

Just for context: it could be worse. Age 45. Since elementary school I have been invited to probably between 1-3 parties total, and never invited to any party after college.

I'm not good at socializing. Or maybe have bad breath. But point being, some social life is better than none.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#86

Post by ankaAr » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 2:34 PM UTC

Argentinan here. 38 yo.

"Parties" Are now dinners with friends, no more than 10. Many of them has child's so is hard for everyone to go, but we do some meetings.

As professional, parties moved to After offices, until pandemic, no more than 1 or 2 hours in a bar with colleagues (even we had the adminbeers for sysadmin community). That was really nice.

Anyway I'm moving to Chicago, so just tell me when you wants to do a BBQ.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#87

Post by lotsofpulp » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 2:35 PM UTC

majikaja wrote: post #57

I'm getting older and I still feel as bored around older, married people as I always have. I don't want to hear about other people's careers or children anymore. I didn't experience it but I remember reading a lot more wild stories of the golden era of Wall Street than the tech scene today. Nowadays people just post about putting money in index funds. Too many high-IQ introverts in a room maybe not a good thing?

Are you referring to stories like Wolf of Wall Street?

If so, I would not expect stories like that from tech (or any other business where relationships are not the main sell). People getting high together or partying is not going to make the next generation processor or programming language or improve battery technology.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#88

Post by ilaksh » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 2:35 PM UTC

activitypea wrote: post #31

I graduated right around the time Covid hit, and I feel like that wrecked my social life irreparably. I have 4-5 close friends I can hang out with every other week or so (nobody wants to hang out 1 to 1 every day), but all my friend groups dissipated. Some moved away, some moved on, some just stopped moving at all. I feel miserable and every couple of nights I have dreams of a Third Place where I can just go and make…

"Heartbreaking"? Try having no friends, at all, that have hung out with you regularly, in more than 25 years?

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#89

Post by dougmwne » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 2:38 PM UTC

Sounds like you need to throw a party instead of waiting for someone else to throw one. You don’t need an excuse!

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#90

Post by rlafranchi » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 2:40 PM UTC

nixpulvis wrote: post #75

Last memorial day I tried to have a little BBQ... ended up eating and drinking by myself on/near the sidewalk in front of my apartment, while grilling and listening to a festive playlist with songs like Carry on my Wayward Son. I kept asking random people if they wanted a brat, but nobody did... until the guy towing my roommate's broken down car home arrived. The three of us shared one, the tow truck driver finished…

Haha, reading this I knew you must be from Massachusetts. Sure enough checked your instagram and bam. I was raised in MA, awesome story buddy! I would have stopped to have a brat with you!