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Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

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61–70 of 440 posts

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#61

I would strongly recommend people who are looking for more music and dance in their life to check out the vr clubbing scene. I've been on it almost constantly for the last 3 months and love having partying back in my life again from the comfort of my own home. (I don't want to say it's a perfect replacement but for me it's good enough to scratch the itch) See my prior posts for more info.

I'm intrigued by this but I can't quite get my head around it. I'm a millennial so grew up with online communities and gaming but my god this being a thing blows my mind!

Honestly I love it. It's beyond anything I thought I would live long enough to see.

Not cheap, unfortunately. Especially if you want to do it well.

Also for me only vrchat is good. Meta's offerings seem very sterile and corporate

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a catalogue of irrational scare-mongering. Do you honestly believe that "housewarmings, birthdays, holidays, sports games, barbecuing, karaoke, ... parties ... for people joining the team, for people leaving, for projects kicking off or finishing" have decreased because of the prevalence of false sexual accusations, allergies, smartphones, or intense goal-driven schooling? Do you have a credible reason to thi…

What is your standard for a "credible" reason? What should the parent comment's claim be based on? The last paragraph of your comment is hard for me to understand.

On the last par: suppose that it is true that a) 10 years ago people were less self-centered, impatient or poor than they are now and b) 10 years ago there were more parties.

Does this form the basis of a well-evidenced claim that there are fewer parties because of increased poverty, narcissism or impatience? Of course not, because there are lots of other time periods we can easily look at.

For example, in the 1950s young people were probably on average poorer than they are now. Perhaps they were also more narcissistic, or equally narcissistic as they are now. Were there also fewer parties? If not, this suggests there is something wrong with the theory.

My question to the GP is: do they believe that there are no time periods like the 1950s in my example, which might raise doubt about their theories? If they think there aren't any, is it because we have never been so poor and narcissistic as we are now? Or is it because there have never been so many parties at any prior time period, as there were in the golden age they identified where we were at our least poor and narcissistic (whenever that might be)? If there are such periods, why isn't that part of their theory? If 'the 1950s' were different, what is it that makes them different, and is that reflected in the theory?

It should be clear here, that any variable which has moved monotonically in one direction for ever and so is currently at a global extreme, is correlated with every other, especially if it is a phenomenon which can't be measured in formal units (like narcissism or fear of strangers). Saying that (satirizing the GP here) 'we have never had so many smartphones, and we have also never had so many allergies, therefore allergies are caused by smartphones', is laughably easy to dismiss, for a number of reasons.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#63

I'm getting older and I still feel as bored around older, married people as I always have. I don't want to hear about other people's careers or children anymore. I didn't experience it but I remember reading a lot more wild stories of the golden era of Wall Street than the tech scene today. Nowadays people just post about putting money in index funds. Too many high-IQ introverts in a room maybe not a good thing?

I'm much the same, in a DINK situation and going hard at life experiences but everyone our age has had children and their lives revolve around looking after them. It's just not very interesting, and nobody has time for fun outside of that. One of my best friends (female) was in the Royal Marines, travelled to Antarctica etc when she was a late teenager/early 20s but now all she does is bring up her children, visit th…

Perhaps dropping to a single income would make kids a more tolerable experience.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

I think women have always been aware of that risk. It is more recently that false sexual accusations have become a concern and (mostly irrational) fear among young men. Go back enough in time and even real sexual accusations were of no concern to many men.

> It is more recently that false sexual accusations have become a concern and (mostly irrational) fear among young men.

Why are you of the view that this is an irrational fear?

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think women have always been aware of that risk. It is more recently that false sexual accusations have become a concern and (mostly irrational) fear among young men. Go back enough in time and even real sexual accusations were of no concern to many men.

> It is more recently that false sexual accusations have become a concern and (mostly irrational) fear among young men. Why are you of the view that this is an irrational fear?

[flagged]

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think women have always been aware of that risk. It is more recently that false sexual accusations have become a concern and (mostly irrational) fear among young men. Go back enough in time and even real sexual accusations were of no concern to many men.

> It is more recently that false sexual accusations have become a concern and (mostly irrational) fear among young men. Why are you of the view that this is an irrational fear?

It doesn't happen that often to make it a reason to not enjoy life and go to parties.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#67
I held a 30 person NYE party in the house I just purchased, that's 9 years in a row I've been holding this party. We dance, sing karaoke, drink champagne, and catch each other up on our otherwise busy and turbulent lives. Mostly friends from high school, some from university, and others still we've met afterwards. It's a wonderful atmosphere, partially because nearly everyone there has known each other for years now.

When I throw parties, it's for people I love and care about. I wouldn't go through all the time and stress and effort for acquaintances or coworkers; the reason my friends and I get together so frequently is because there's nothing else we enjoy more, so we prioritize it.

COVID isn't the problem and neither is getting older. My parents are in their 60s and still throw classy, drunken, hilarious parties with their decade long friends. The problem, I'm afraid, probably lies with your third point.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#68

- The Covid hysteria was brutal in destroying what was left of the social fabric. - People have become more and more anti social since the introduction of the smart phone. - Intense schooling has made people apathetic to life and reluctant towards taking any initiative. - Wealthy individuals don't need to host parties to impress their communities anymore. - Sex soliciting apps like Tinder makes parties a place where…

> Intense schooling has made people apathetic to life and reluctant towards taking any initiative.

What do you mean by this?

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#69
I'm 42 and last year moved back to my home country. We wanted to throw a housewarming party but getting enough people in one place on a specific day at a specific time seemed like an impossible challenge. Everybody had busy schedules for their precious August weekends anyway.

We ended up doing a full-weekend party where people could drop by whenever they can. The first guests came on Friday around 6 pm and the last ones left on Sunday at 11 pm. In the end people were spread out evenly. Some came with kids in the day, others alone in the evening. This way there was really time to sit down and talk with old friends whom I hadn't seen in years or even decades.

For food, we ended up having ingredients in the fridge for a few quick foods like Vietnamese rice paper rolls, and we'd make it together with new guests if they were hungry. It worked out fine.

Of course dedicating the entire weekend to a party is a big commitment, but I think it actually reduced the level of stress compared to trying to do a traditional "dense" party on Saturday night.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#70
This is a very interesting post, thank you for writing it. I'm still quite a few years away from 50 but I have been feeling like this since I graduated. The days after graduation felt like the party would keep going but I quickly noticed that my friends were becoming less and less available.

I think this happened because:

1. They got married and therefore priorities changed.

2. They got kids and responsibilities increased.

3. They got older and interests changed.

4. Most of us moved to different cities and/or countries.

But I think the party can, indeed, keep going (with a little effort). There is a reply here that recommends joining different activity groups and I think that is the right thing to do. In school, you didn't have to work hard to meet new people and make new friends because the community is large and full of interesting people you can relate to.

Outside school, the best way to mimic that kind of life is at places like work, Church, sports clubs, etc. [finances permitting :)]

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