Ask HN: Where are all the parties? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#21

Post by mcv » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 9:26 AM UTC

rantallion wrote: post #16

ffmpegy wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

my parents have a way busier social calendar than I do. It's almost like when you're finished with work, the late hours, unusual shifts and occasional weekend call-outs, professional development and week-long 'team strategy' off-sites you actually have time to live life, have friends and enjoy their company in a relaxed environment - who knew!

Both of you can be correct here. It's possible (and I would say likely) that you end up having a bunch of social activities and yet still not go to parties . I know as I've gotten older (still younger than OP but well on my way), my tastes have changed and mellowed. Gone are the days where me and my friends want to be in a noisy, booze-filled environment. Dining out, theatre trips, hiking, even an international holid…

We celebrated our 15th anniversary with board games and silent disco. And people who don't like either of those can still have drinks, food and talk. It was a great combination I can strongly recommend.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#22

Post by throwaway22032 » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 9:27 AM UTC

I just organised one for next week.

I tend to have to do it because a lot of my friends are poor and live in cramped living conditions.

The equivalent is going to the pub. That's what it's for.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#23

Post by swarnie » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 9:29 AM UTC

Anecdotally the regular parties ended for me about 8 years ago (25 y/o). Since then my friends have been distributed around the country and all have houses / kids / professional work ect...

Recently we've tried organising two events. A get-well party for a friend and an in-person DnD session. Both are scheduled to happen soon but planning began back in October or November. When organising 6 people in to a room together takes three months notice i can see why people don't bother so much....

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#24

Post by primeblue » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 9:29 AM UTC

johncoltrane wrote: post #3

#1 of course

[dead]

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#25

Post by carlosjobim » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 9:31 AM UTC

rantallion wrote: post #16

ffmpegy wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

my parents have a way busier social calendar than I do. It's almost like when you're finished with work, the late hours, unusual shifts and occasional weekend call-outs, professional development and week-long 'team strategy' off-sites you actually have time to live life, have friends and enjoy their company in a relaxed environment - who knew!

Both of you can be correct here. It's possible (and I would say likely) that you end up having a bunch of social activities and yet still not go to parties . I know as I've gotten older (still younger than OP but well on my way), my tastes have changed and mellowed. Gone are the days where me and my friends want to be in a noisy, booze-filled environment. Dining out, theatre trips, hiking, even an international holid…

You have a limited view of what can be called a "party".

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#26

Post by turing_complete » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 9:32 AM UTC

Combination of all three. I'm about 20 years younger than you. When COVID was a thing, there were a few months to a year almost without parties. But it has ramped up again, I am invited and going to more events than in 2019. However, I made a deliberate effort to improve my social and professional network. I also started a local meetup, which is basically a cheat code to meeting new people and becoming more influential.

If I had to guess, COVID and aging weakened the bonds in your social circle. Just start to reach out to old friends again and try to find new ones. There are a lot of interesting people out there, probably eager to have a good party.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#27

Post by mingusrude » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 9:33 AM UTC

We had a party this summer, my wife turned 50 and we wanted to host a party in our house for all our friends. We thought it would be a blast but there were problems.

First problem, we don't really have that many friends. Back in the day, it felt natural to invite anyone you remotely knew but today, not so much. So, only those that we had some kind of deeper relationship got on the list, in total maybe 30 people or so, almost all couples.

Second problem, we have moved around so a fair number of those we wanted to invite do not live in the same city as us. This meant travelling for them but many were fine to do it, however it gave rise to two other problems.

Third problem. Back in the day when there were parties, people could drop by and so it didn't feel it had to be so ambitious, but now since people were travelling, we have to have a proper dinner party. Lots of cost, lots of arrangements, not something that I want to do very often.

Fourth problem. Back in the day, there wasn't a day tomorrow. At the age of 50. there's always a day tomorrow. We had bought alcohol as if we were 20 but with the economy of two DINKs (they've moved out). Maybe 20% was consumed because "there's a day tomorrow as well", and frankly quite a few were travelling so they did indeed have to be able to drive reasonably early.

It's just very different having parties at the age of 50 compared to 20, it can't be the same thing, at least not in our circle and I'm quite sad for it.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#28

Post by neodypsis » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 9:52 AM UTC

Could it be related to COVID or to high inflation / bad economy?

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#29

Post by wikfwikf » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 9:58 AM UTC

carlosjobim wrote: post #19

- The Covid hysteria was brutal in destroying what was left of the social fabric. - People have become more and more anti social since the introduction of the smart phone. - Intense schooling has made people apathetic to life and reluctant towards taking any initiative. - Wealthy individuals don't need to host parties to impress their communities anymore. - Sex soliciting apps like Tinder makes parties a place where…

This is a catalogue of irrational scare-mongering.

Do you honestly believe that "housewarmings, birthdays, holidays, sports games, barbecuing, karaoke, ... parties ... for people joining the team, for people leaving, for projects kicking off or finishing" have decreased because of the prevalence of false sexual accusations, allergies, smartphones, or intense goal-driven schooling?

Do you have a credible reason to think that poverty of young adults, narcissism, or lack of patience, is materially different and has a material effect on the number of parties in the present day compared to 10 or 20 years ago?

Would you also claim that there haven't been other prior time periods where people were just as poor, self-centered or impatient as they are now, and there were more parties? Or is the claim only based on interpolation of specific, correlated changes in the recent past?

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#30

Post by dmarchand90 » Fri, Jan 20, 2023, 10:00 AM UTC

I would strongly recommend people who are looking for more music and dance in their life to check out the vr clubbing scene. I've been on it almost constantly for the last 3 months and love having partying back in my life again from the comfort of my own home. (I don't want to say it's a perfect replacement but for me it's good enough to scratch the itch)

See my prior posts for more info.