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Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

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Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#91

Post by orangetuba »

ankaAr wrote: post #86

Argentinan here. 38 yo. "Parties" Are now dinners with friends, no more than 10. Many of them has child's so is hard for everyone to go, but we do some meetings. As professional, parties moved to After offices, until pandemic, no more than 1 or 2 hours in a bar with colleagues (even we had the adminbeers for sysadmin community). That was really nice. Anyway I'm moving to Chicago, so just tell me when you wants to do…

Unfortunately I don't even live in the US, but BBQ with someone Argentinian would be incredible.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#92

Post by gwbas1c »

Back in my 20s, when everyone was single, there were plenty of parties. It was just a matter of putting in the effort to find the right places to meet people.

In my 30s, as a newly wed, there were still parties. A lot of people showed up with kids. Late night parties often had a baby or two who still weren't on a normal schedule.

In my 40s, there's plenty of parties... They just are for other kids. I personally find kids birthday parties fun as long as the other adults are fun too.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#93

Post by Nextgrid »

mcv wrote: post #17

Probably a combination of all three reasons you listed. Covid did kill a lot of parties, and rightly so, and it's not over yet. That said, a lot of people seem to think Covid is over and are desperate to finally have a party again. Friends of ours celebrated their 12.5 years of marriage with a party on a big sailing ship. My wife and I celebrated our 15 years of marriage pretty big (food and drinks, board games and s…

Covid is over in the sense that it's a risk we all have to live with forever. In practice, a combination of vaccines, less deadly variants and being over the peak of the pandemic means it's a manageable risk, at least until a breakthrough variant shows up.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#94

Post by libraryatnight »

rossdavidh wrote: post #84

I'm 55 and have gone to as many parties of my friends in the last 12 months as ever in my life. However, I do this by throwing them at my house. Granted, they're more sit-down-eat-dinner-together-and-drink-wine, and less stand-around-and-drink-beer-and-blast-music, but they're still a bunch of friends in my house at once. If you want a lot of parties with friends, the best way is to throw them yourself. Your friends…

Yes, I'm a weirdo procrastinator that's a bit of an introvert. I think all the time "It'd be nice to have some people over!" We'll have a housewarming on the 10 year anniversary of moving in I suspect. I know I myself realized a few months ago that the reason I suddenly only see people individually and infrequently anymore is our mutual friend that threw get-togethers moved up to a rural property during the pandemic which, in addition to the blow that was children, was the death-knell for his caring about his island of misfit friends. I always knew one of us would grow up.

I don't know if I have what it takes to step in and fill that void. I may need to meet a new social friend ;)

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#96

Post by carlosjobim »

Toutouxc wrote: post #68
carlosjobim wrote: post #19

- The Covid hysteria was brutal in destroying what was left of the social fabric. - People have become more and more anti social since the introduction of the smart phone. - Intense schooling has made people apathetic to life and reluctant towards taking any initiative. - Wealthy individuals don't need to host parties to impress their communities anymore. - Sex soliciting apps like Tinder makes parties a place where…

> Intense schooling has made people apathetic to life and reluctant towards taking any initiative. What do you mean by this?

Spending most of your childhood forced to sit in a chair and be quiet. Allowed speech is repeating the teacher's opinion on the subject at hand and not enquiring more. Schools are literally sucking the life force out of generations of people, for the disadvantage of all.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#97

Post by wikfwikf »

paweladamczuk wrote: post #45
wikfwikf wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a catalogue of irrational scare-mongering. Do you honestly believe that "housewarmings, birthdays, holidays, sports games, barbecuing, karaoke, ... parties ... for people joining the team, for people leaving, for projects kicking off or finishing" have decreased because of the prevalence of false sexual accusations, allergies, smartphones, or intense goal-driven schooling? Do you have a credible reason to thi…

What is your standard for a "credible" reason? What should the parent comment's claim be based on? The last paragraph of your comment is hard for me to understand.

It's difficult to explain credibility beyond the definition of the word, but if you have any purported reason "to think that poverty of young adults, narcissism, or lack of patience, is materially different and has a material effect on the number of parties in the present day compared to 10 or 20 years ago", I can tell you whether or not I think it's credible.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#98

Post by ransom1538 »

me551ah wrote: post #40

I faced the same issue and decided to solve it by making an app. The issue mainly boils down to not knowing who is free when and when they want to party. So I made an app where people can input when they are free during the week, and it auto suggests plans. You can check it out at : https://www.bl1p.app

I just wanted to say this is the spirit. This is what this community is about. Seeing a problem and building something.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#99

Post by conductr »

rossdavidh wrote: post #84

I'm 55 and have gone to as many parties of my friends in the last 12 months as ever in my life. However, I do this by throwing them at my house. Granted, they're more sit-down-eat-dinner-together-and-drink-wine, and less stand-around-and-drink-beer-and-blast-music, but they're still a bunch of friends in my house at once. If you want a lot of parties with friends, the best way is to throw them yourself. Your friends…

This is key. Older people do dinner parties. Maybe even with some light board/trivia games or some other activity. If your friends group doesn’t do it, you need to initiate and host. It often takes time to gain speed. Commit yourself to something like hosting monthly for a year. Send the invite a month ahead. Likely someone will offer to host at their place eventually and you can back off a bit. The ball of yarn doesn’t stay wound up without effort, it will unravel without attention and action.

Also, and I’m horrible at this, but try to intermix your friends groups. So everyone’s network of friends grows.

Also, cheat mode is just organizing dinners out. It’s easier but I think results in less memorable experiences and doesn’t do much to strengthen the relationships of those in attendance.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#100

Post by looping8 »

For me it is mostly COVID's fault, because people my age definitely stopped partying as much as they used to. Some are still worried about it, many just realized during lockdown that they don't even like "parties" in the traditional form. We still get together but it's usually a quiet dinner thing, not dozens of people in the same room, drinking and dancing and whatever else. Even karaoke is not as popular in my circle since being in a closed space with people opening their mouths wide feels weird.

I think smaller parties like housewarming and barbecue are still fine though, but maybe it depend on the country.

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